KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for February 8th, 2006

Announcing A New MNF Lineup

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Monday Night Football is not only moving to a new station, but it’s also getting a new announcing team. Replacing Al Michaels and John Madden will be Joe Theismann, Tony Kornheiser and Mike Tirico. Eh. Don’t really care. I was probably one of the only people in this world that didn’t mind the Sunday Night crew of Theismann, Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire, although it wouldn’t have killed them to say a team they were commenting on was “average” or “not quite up to playoff caliber.” Even though I have some issues with Michael Wilbon, I wouldn’t mind having him replace Theismann in this lineup. This way we could listen for three hours of him and Kornheiser bicker back and forth, much like they do on “Pardon The Interruption.” However, I’d be sure to have the TV on mute whenever the Philadelphia Eagles are slated to appear during a telecast; the knob-slobbing of Donovan McNabb would be too much, even for Patrick to bear.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:54 am

Posted in Sports

USA Today Double-Speak

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So USA Today is speaking out against those who are cowering in the face of Muslims offended by cartoons. In a February 8 editorial titled, “Shameful Appeasement, the article says, in part…

The past several days of mayhem throughout the Muslim world — all thanks to a handful of mild cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammed — have provided a clarifying moment for those still uncertain about what the West faces from radical disciples of the Islamic faith.

What’s clear is that East and West are not just cultures apart, but centuries, and that certain elements of the Muslim world would like to drag us back into the Dark Ages.

What is also clear is that the West’s own leaders, both in Europe and the USA, as well as many of our own journalists, have been weak-spined when it comes to defending the principles of free expression that the artists in Denmark were exploring.

Now after reading this editorial, you would think that USA Today would stand in solidarity with its Global Media brethren and show it’s readers what the fuss is all about with these drawings? In a February 7 USA Today’s Life section column, Deputy World Editor Jim Michaels said:

At USA TODAY, “we concluded that we could cover the issue comprehensively without republishing the cartoon, something clearly offensive to many Muslims. It’s not censorship, self or otherwise.”

And speaking of these offensives cartoons, I have come up with a way to bring everybody together on this issue.


Maybe even Allah will chill out for a few minutes before getting mad at us infidels again.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:27 am

Posted in News

A Britney Breakdown

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So there I was scouring the Internet looking for a photo of Britney Spears driving around with her kid sitting on her lap when I came across this blurb:

“The paparazzi came to Britney Spears aid this week when the car which she was driving broke down on a busy road in Malibu. According to reports, Spears was driving her husband’s Ferrari near her Malibu home when it suddenly cut out, leaving her stranded on a very busy highway.”

Her husband’s Ferrari? Uh-huh.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:25 am

Posted in Entertainment

Burning Through Rubbers

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The Brazilian government is planning on passing out 25 million condoms during the country’s Carnival holiday, which is scheduled to start on February 25.

Brazil’s Health Ministry is getting into Carnival fever along with millions of revelers.

While most Brazilians are preparing for four days of madness, which include a street parade with colorful floats and dressed-up divas gyrating to blaring music, the government is planning to hand out 25 million condoms to encourage partyers to never go unprotected.

Two things: 1) Even though the rate of failure among condoms is debated, let’s just assume for this instance that the failure rate is three percent. That means if you go to this festival, get a rubber from the government and do your thing, you could have one of the 750,000 that won’t stop your boys from getting out, or from anything else getting inside of you. 2) I wouldn’t eat government cheese, why would I slide something onto my winky that was given to me by the State?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:24 am

Posted in News

Fear Factor

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Here’s what I don’t get about Democrats. Hitlery is the latest lib to say that Republicans are playing the “fear card” of terrorism to win elections. And just what in the blue hell does your party do, senator? Whenever election season comes around, what exactly do you call saying that the GOP wants to starve children, throw the elderly in the gutter, pollute the planet, cut Social Security, slash Medicare, encourage hate crimes, among other things? I’ll save my left-leaning friends the trouble of hitting the Fast Reply button and typing in “I call it the truth — lolz.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:21 am

Posted in News

King For A Day, Not

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No wonder George W. Bush doesn’t care about black people –– look at how he was treated at Coretta Scott King’s funeral.

A day of eulogising Coretta Scott King turned into in-person rebuke of President George Bush, with civil rights and political leaders assailing White House policies as evidence that the dream of social and racial equality pursued by Mrs King and her slain husband, the Reverend Martin Luther King, is far from reality.

Even though she was the dead one at this house of worship, it seemed that some of the speakers at the event were trying to bury the President of the United States. Culprit A was Rev. Joseph Lowry when he said, “We know now that there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Coretta knew, and we know, that there are weapons of misdirection right down here.” Culprit B was former president Jimmy Carter, who wasn’t much better by bringing up “secret wire tapping” along with racially charged drivel about Hurricane Katrina.

These two dipshits said what they did with the intention of belittling the president, who was seated nearby and had to take these insults with a smile. Didn’t these people learn anything from the Paul Wellstone memorial a few years ago? Keep the insults coming, I say, and watch Bush look like a sympathetic figure more and more each and every time.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 8, 2006 at 11:20 am

Posted in News