KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for April 2006

Joy With Seasons In The Sun (Or Not)

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For the longest time I always had summer pegged as my favorite month. After all, when you’re a kid, summer meant no school, unless you were a retard like me and had to attend summer school for two years because you were too lazy to study during the year’s other three seasons. However, as I got older, summer began to turn from being a paradise to one more of a bother. After all, when working in the “real world” there’s no three-month break, unless you work seasonally and collect unemployment. Also, in the Mid-Atlantic region summer usually brings humidity. Not the Deep South humidity mind you, but enough humidity to make me feel like shit after a while if I’m out in the sun. In addition, drivers seem to be worse during these months. I don’t know if it’s because preppie high school kids just got their new sports cars from daddy, or if people don’t prepare their vehicles for the summer months, resulting in more breakdowns on the road. Then again, since the price of gasoline rises during this time, maybe people just get more pissed off waiting at stoplights, burning precious fuel. Who knows and who cares – one thing is for certain, summer is no longer my favorite season.

This now begs the question: what season is my favorite? Well, winter is immediately crossed off the list. Sure there’s Christmas, but there’s also snow, ice, sleet and biting winds. In addition, the people I mentioned above who don’t prep their automobiles for the hazy summer months also don’t get their vehicles ready for the slick road conditions that occur from January through March. However, accidents during this time are to be expected, so when you hear of a 10-car pileup on the nearby interstate, you think to yourself that taking a personal day from work isn’t such a bad idea. With summer and winter eliminated, I’m torn between spring and autumn as being my favorite month. Let me break each season down.

The plusses of spring for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying good-bye to winter. 2) My favorite time for sports. Not only is Major League Baseball under way, but also the NBA and NHL playoffs are in full swing. You also have the NFL Draft, which gives any football junkie a quick fix. 3) The ability to wear shorts and loose t-shirts. The minuses of spring for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying hello to rain, along with mowing the lawn. When the better half and I moved into this house, I didn’t take into account the fact I’d be mowing the property that came with it. Friday was my first mow of the year, and the result was two hours and four bags’ worth of clippings. Although I’ve had a pretty consistent opinion of illegal immigration, I began to re-think my position after the first time I had to go out and cut this shit. 2) The increased traffic, which I already mentioned above. 3) Nice weather that’s not too hot and not too cold. This is the time of the year when I open up all the windows and let the breeze cool down the house, rather than letting the central air do its thing.

The plusses of autumn for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying hello to the NFL regular season and MLB playoffs. I guess I can mention that the NBA and NHL usually start around this time, but I really don’t care about either’s regular season. 2) Once again, the weather. The temperature isn’t yet cold, and after several months of hot and humid surroundings, it’s nice to turn off the central air and open up the windows, if only for a few weeks. The minuses of autumn: 1) While my days of mowing the lawn are numbered for the year around this time, there’s the raking of leaves, which always sucks. However, this is only a once-a-year occurrence, unlike the constant growing grass. 2) The dread of knowing that snow is right around the corner.

For the last few years I had always pegged myself as a “spring” person, although after looking at what I have just written, it seems to me that autumn would probably be my season of preference. The only real negative to autumn is knowing that winter is fast approaching in October than it is in April. Weird.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 30, 2006 at 9:26 pm

Posted in Life

Playoff Passion

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When watching various first-round NHL Playoff games this past week, I have to say that some of my favorite crowds are from western Canada, particularly Edmonton and Calgary. Not only are they loud, but also they really seem to get into the action, which in many instances make the game even more enjoyable to watch.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2006 at 9:27 pm

Posted in Sports

Write Up This List As Rape

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In my area a local topic has been brewing up over a different kind of draft. In a yuppie school district, some kids created this “Top 25 chicks” list of girls from their school and has graded each of them on all the important things, like breast size, derrieres, whether they put out, etc. Well, some people in the area are shocked and appalled over this, and some parents are demanding justice, even saying this is the equivalent of “written rape.”

The Mt. Lebanon School District and Mt. Lebanon police are investigating the distribution of an anonymous document that features sexually explicit descriptions of 25 girls at the high school.

The document, titled “Top 25 in 2006,” ranks the girls in order from one to 25. It includes their names, grade levels and photos.

Each girl is assigned a letter grade for her breasts, buttocks and face, followed by a brief description of each girl in crude and vulgar terms.

There are references to girls performing oral sex and comments about their height and weight.

One girl, an entry said, “seemed to be a very consistent candidate among the ballots of the males, her consistency allowed her to achieve top 10 status.”

There is one instance where a description ridicules a girl’s ethnic heritage. All of the girls in the “top 25” are sophomores, juniors and seniors.

“I think that it’s outrageous, the equivalent of a written rape on our daughter,” said the father of one girl, who didn’t want his name published to protect his daughter’s identity.

Personally, I find the whole thing funny as hell, and I’m sure this is only motivating other boys from neighboring school districts to created one of these newsletters. Note to offended parents: If you think a “draft” like this is bad, you should hear what it’s like in a school locker room, or in the basement of a kids house when him and his friends are talking about the opposite sex.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2006 at 9:24 pm

Posted in News

This Video Game Is A Blast

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I heard on the radio that some commies from Carnegie Mellon University created this video game on how to achieve peace in the Middle East.

A Palestinian suicide bomber blows up a bus, leaving the newly elected Israeli prime minister to puzzle over a response. A missile strike could ease security fears, or prompt more violence. A diplomatic approach might anger Israelis, leading to an assassination plot.

The complex choices facing leaders in the Middle East have long confounded political analysts and policy makers. But two graduate students at Carnegie Mellon University are hoping their video game based on the conflict will help players find solutions — and raise capital for their new company.

But will such a game attract players and investors?

Basically, you take either the side of the Muslims or Jews and you have to react to situations, whether they are homicide bombers blowing up Israeli nightclubs or demolition crews flattening some Palestinian house. Oh, I’m sure this game is non-linear. Let’s see. React with force when Abdul blows up a cafe — GAME OVER.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2006 at 9:23 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Bush Gets A Mega-Push

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Ha. I was right. When watching ESPN this morning, the “draft experts” are busting on the Texans for not taking Reggie Bush. OMG what is wrong with them (Tom Jackson or Michael Irvin, I can’t remember which one, called him a player you only see “once-in-a-lifetime.”). Why, if they drafted Reggie then the could contend for the AFC South with the Colts and Jags. Some ESPN schmoe also said that if they would have drafted Bush then the Texans would have one of the most imposing offenses in the league. Funny, I remember other teams that recently drafted for offense — Detroit and Arizona — and look how great they turned out.

Like I’ve said before, I have no clue as to who any of these college players are, but it seems like many teams in the early first round did well with their pics, I guess. The Steelers moved a few slots up to get some hippie receiver from Ohio State. Uh, yay, I guess. Of course, I found out about this pick when turning on the late-night news and also seeing people tailgating outside of Heinz Field and a wedding party outside waving Terrible Towels. The sports talk radio should be interesting this upcoming week, considering most people had the Steelers pegged as drafting Lendall White from USC. In the end, I guess this was the best pick for the Steelers, considering they had lost two of the top three receivers over the past couple of years — Plaxico Burress and Antowain Randel-El.

Oh, and I also find it funny that Vince Young and White are going to play on the same team, provided both survive training camp.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2006 at 9:19 pm

Posted in Sports

I’m A Real Whiz When It Comes To Cats

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For the last several weeks our one cat Max has had a urinary tract infection. Basically, what this means is that he’s spending half the day in a litter box trying to pee out whatever fluid is inside him. While this can be serious, especially if there is blockage (which he doesn’t have), the vet has said his condition isn’t too bad. At first we had him on some antibiotics, but they didn’t do the job. Now he’s on some stronger stuff, and we’re going to have to change his, and the other two cats’, diet. In other words, we’re going to have to buy some overpriced shit and a water-purifying machine. Now although Max is acting normal (or at as normal as he acts) he’s still making a beeline for the nearest litter box a dozen or so times per day.

Last night as I laid in bed, our female cat Dessa hopped up and laid down between the better half and me; she always sleeps with us. Now sometimes Max jumps up on the bed, too, but the problem is Dessa doesn’t take kindly to him or our other cat, JJ. This results in Max usually just laying beside me, away from Dessa. Well, that was the case last night. However, at around 2:30 in the morning I felt this weight upon my upper body and this water on/around my collarbone. Problem was it wasn’t water – Max was peeing on me. Yep. I have no idea why the little bastard decided to relieve himself on top of me, but thank god he hardly had anything in him. Fortunately I woke up when he was finished and he quickly jumped off me; I don’t know what I would have done had I been awake when he decided to start. The good news, if there is any to come from this, is that I think he was aiming for a crevice in the comforter or something and none of the urine got on the bed, although my pillows are going to take a trip to the washing machine tonight (while dealing with this infection a few times he’s tried to pee on towels that were crumpled up on the floor, which has us thinking he didn’t have time to make it to a litter box and needed a makeshift toilet).

I guess it could have been worse. He could have been going number two. Or my mouth could have been open.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 28, 2006 at 10:05 pm

Posted in Life

Is There An NFL Draft In Here?

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Well the NFL draft is tomorrow, and if you are looking for a place that will give you all the latest news and insight to this annual event … well, then keep on looking. I like the NFL draft and all, but I’m not glued to the television set for the entire weekend because it’s on. Actually, I have no idea who any of these can’t miss mega-star college players are. With that being said, I’ll be sure to tune in several times during the day to see who gets picked where; I might even have it on as background noise depending on what I’m doing around the house. However, I do have one thought about this year’s draft. I’m sure Reggie Bush is a fine athlete and all, but is he really the second coming of Christ? Better yet, is he really what the Houston Texans need at this time? Unless Bush can block with the strength of three linemen, I don’t think he’s going to help out the Texans with their biggest problem since entering the league – pass protection. But then again, if Houston doesn’t draft Bush, and trades down a few spots to let some other team get him and ends up with that offensive lineman that’s supposed to go real early and a few other early-round picks, I’m sure Chris Berman will say mean things about the Texans front office, and we can’t have that.

UPDATE: Uh, oh. I just saw on ESPN that it looks like the Texans are going to take that Williams guy with the first overall pick. Man, I wouldn’t want to be Houston’s General Manager tomorrow.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 28, 2006 at 10:04 pm

Posted in Sports