KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for June 2006

Wedding Gift Tips

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Over on a message board I frequent, one poster brought up an interesting question that I feel needs more elaboration on my behalf. Long story short: He’s friends with someone that’s getting married. He’s thinking of giving the “happy” couple $50 as a gift and wants to know if that’s enough. In my world, that’s perfectly acceptable, and the majority of posters in that thread seem to agree. However, I figured this might be a good time to give some firsthand experiences of this practice of giving, and receiving, loot at a wedding.

1) Unless you’re going to some uber-yuppie reception, giving $50 for you and your guest is perfectly acceptable. At my wedding reception the meals were about $25 per person, so you’re basically saying with a $50 gift, “Thanks for inviting me. Here, I’ll take care of my food bill because I know you are paying for plenty of other shit. Now, where’s that free bar?” At my reception, most people gave $50, which was fine with us. However, my old man’s table, which featured eight various cousins and uncles, gave us a total of $40. The most aggravating thing about this wasn’t even the money; it was the fact we had to include this table into the reception plans two days before the wedding, more than two weeks after the RSVPs were due.

2) If you’re going to get a gift, please make sure it’s something from their wedding registry. This isn’t rocket science. It’s nice to know that if our George Forman grill ever craps out on us, that we have two others just waiting to take its place. And if you’re not going to bother reading the registry before getting something, make sure you include the receipt so it can be returned. It’s nothing personal; there’s only so much storage space people have in their house/apartment and sometimes you have to be practical.

3) While I’m on the subject of registries, sometimes you’ll come across an item with a rather large purchase price. Don’t think that the bride actually expects this to be filled; it’s a pipe dream (and yes, the bride is the one who fills these registries out). The better half’s pipe dream was some new sink stand to replace the funky green colored one for the upstairs bathroom. She was under the delusion that some people from her side of the family would “chip in” and get this for us. What did we end up getting from the people she hoped would get her this gift? Four plastic glasses, a plastic pitcher, and a single towel with matching wash cloth. So close.

4) Whatever amount you give to a wedding party, expect no more than that amount back when you get hitched. After our wedding, the better half took note of what everybody gave us (well, the people who weren’t married yet) and that is what we are going to give them whenever their big days come. Shortly after our wedding, one of our guest couples got hitched and we sent them the same amount of money they sent us. Of course, when I asked what was the point of this monetary exchange, since in the end it turned into a zero-sum game, I didn’t get a coherent answer.

5) Gift cards are just as good as cash, but please make sure it is for a store the happy couple frequents. For us, our Target, Kohl’s and Best Buy gift cards were well-spent. However, the one for Linens ‘n Things took some time to be depleted, and even then the money spent on fabric could have went to buying a perfectly good DVD.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 11, 2006 at 11:33 pm

Posted in Life

Kicking Off The World Cup

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Once again America is sticking its middle finger up to the rest of the world and saying, “Fuck you all, we’re going to do what we Americans want.” Is this because we’re going to invade another country? Not that I know of. Are we thumbing our nose yet again at the United Nations? I wish. No, it’s World Cup season, and despite other countries shutting down to watch their team run around a field for 90 minutes kicking a ball, we here in the United States just give out a collective yawn. I’m one of the bigger oddballs in this country because I like the game of soccer. I played it for 14 seasons as a kid, and ever since 1990, when I was 14 years old, I have tuned into this tournament. Granted, I have no idea who any of the players are, but sometimes you watch a sporting event for other reasons. For example, one spectacle of the World Cup that I enjoy seeing is the spectators cheering on their team, waving flags, singing and rattling off noisemakers. The actual game itself is not that bad to watch, either. I don’t think I’d be able to watch soccer on a regular basis, and I don’t tune into that American MLS league; once every four years tends to provide me with an ample fix.

Back in 1990 I remember West Germany winning the World Cup after beating Argentina 1-0 on a cheesy penalty kick late in the game. I also remember England having a really old goalkeeper, Italy getting pretty far, and some guy from Cameroon with black sweatpants. What I remember most about this tournament, however, was that several times the only goals scored in a game were done during TNT’s commercial breaks. There’s nothing more gratifying than watching a game for an hour or two only to have the game’s only goal come while you’re watching an ad for some airline or sports drink. When you got back from the break you saw a bunch of players jumping on top of each other with the announcers saying, “While we were away, Italy just scored the first goal of the game. Here’s the replay.” Sorry, but watching a replay isn’t the same as seeing the real thing live. Is it any surprise that by the time the 1994 World Cup came around the games were interruption-free? Rather than go to commercial breaks, the games just put a sponsor’s logo in the corner for 20 minutes or so.

Four years later the World Cup was hosted in the United States. Some things I remember about this event were the U.S. upsetting Columbia thanks to some player scoring in his own net. The U.S. eventually lost to Brazil 1-0, but if memory serves, Brazil was playing shorthanded thanks to a red card, so instead of going with the mainstream opinion of “our boys played tough,” I always thought they should have upset the Brazil squad. The success of the ’94 World Cup was supposed to show Americans how great the sport of soccer is. It didn’t. The 1998 World Cup was probably the worst ever for America. Not only did the Frenchies win the whole thing, but the United States lost to Iran in group competition. America fared much better four years later when they went out in the quarterfinals to Germany, the tournament’s eventual runner-up. From what I’ve heard about this year’s tournament, the U.S. is in a tough bracket and may not make it out of group play. Big deal. Just because America can’t dominate one kind of sport that doesn’t mean that sport should be ignored. Besides, it’s always nice to have other countries dominate the world’s stage every once in a while. Who am I going to pick for the World Cup? Well, I always go with Brazil followed by the host country as a sleeper pick.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 10, 2006 at 11:32 pm

Posted in Sports

EW’s Controversial Movie List

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Entertainment Weekly made some hippie list about the 25 Most Controversial Films OF ALL TIME, and the Passion of the Christ tops the list. Other entries include A Clockwork Orange, JFK, Natural Born Killers, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Da Vinci Code , United 93, Deep Throat, The Last Temptation of Chirst, The Deer Hunter, Basic Instinct and Do the Right Thing. Uh, ok. This seems a little too Vh1-ny for my taste, and I really don’t know what to about the appropriateness of these listings, considering I didn’t bother to watch most of these movies.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 9, 2006 at 8:18 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Vet Visits And Captured Cats

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Well today was the suq. I noticed last night that Max was having some issues with using the litter, so today it was yet another trip to the vet. Turns out he has another urinary tract infection and has to stay overnight. Hopefully with the new diet we’re going to put him on he won’t have this trouble any more, or as much. There’s some other trouble brewing as well because the way the better half and I trick him, Dessa and JJ into their carrier no longer works. For years one of us would pick up whoever had to go to the vet and the other person would get the carrier. By the time the captured realized that they had been tricked it was too late for them to escape. A few years ago, they began to get wise to practice, so we went with Plan B. We give them scheduled feedings – a quarter cup of kibble when we wake up and right before bedtime. They have this schedule down pat, but whenever we needed one of them to get in the carrier we would put food in their dishes. When the three of them would romp into the feeding room thinking they were getting second breakfast, the better half would close the door and I would go get the carrier from the basement. This tactic worked about a half dozen times.

Notice I said “worked.”

Now when it’s not early in the morning or late at night and we’re putting food in their bowls, they hover around the room’s entrance waiting for us to leave before entering. Today was even worse. Not only did Max totally stay out of the feeding room, but also he took off and hid underneath some chairs in the kitchen. Of course after I moved the chairs he scampered off and hid under the dining room table. Once that was moved, he went under the living room coffee table. After that it was under a corner table between our two living room couches. Once I rearranged half of the living room’s furniture he made a dash to the basement and behind the staircase, which he has pretty much his own lair. Because I couldn’t reach him anymore I had to flush him out via squirt bottle, forcing him to get out in the open. But did that ploy work? Nope. The little bastard ran upstairs into the spare bedroom. This was a good news/bad news situation. By going into the spare bedroom he was limiting his escape options. However, if he got under the bed it would be a pain in the ass to get him out. I was able to nab him before he made it under all the way under the bed and then it was off to the vet.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 9, 2006 at 8:17 pm

Posted in Life

Hitting The Insensitive Trifecta

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• So now Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead. Bye bye. What I think is funny is that Michael Berg, the father of one of Zarqawi’s beheading victims, said that not only did he “learn to forgive” Zarqawi for lopping his kid’s head off, but he also said that, “I have no sense of relief, just sadness that another human being had to die.” Goddamn did the wrong Berg go over to Iraq.

• Speaking of commies, it seems that the Jersey Girls caught Ann Coulter’s ire, and the conservative skeletor then said some not-so-nice things about these harpies. If you don’t remember, these bitches used the memories of their husbands, who died in the 9/11 attacks, to repeat some Democrat talking points in the ’04 election season. Of course Ann’s comments are causing outrage, with even Hitlery getting in on the action. I’m not a huge Coulter fan, but to these “Witches of East Brunswick” I say too fucking bad. If you are going to exploit your dead spouses in hopes of electing your boy Kerry as president, then get ready for some backlash. Like I’ve said before regarding this issue, if I had to wake up next to and listen to anyone of this group day in and day out for a prolonged period of time I probably would have jumped from the World Trade Center before 9/11/01. However, I have to take Ann to task on one premise, and that is when she said, “I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” When it’s my turn to say “what’s up” to the Reaper, just wait and see how quickly my life insurance policy gets cashed in.

• I might as well complete my insensitive trifecta by talking about a local story. Apparently, some bad heroin (as opposed to the “good” kind found in the organic section of the crack house/meth lab/wherever this shit is made) has been shipped out to the Shittsburgh area, killing some users (and even a few people from the *gasp!* suburbs). Cops have been trying to figure out where the source is coming from, and they’re hoping to collect as much of the bad heroin as possible. I say why bother; let the addicts kill themselves. Hell, give me a bag and I’ll deliver one (or ten) to my crack-whore sister-in-law’s place of residence, provided that she hasn’t been evicted yet. Also, wouldn’t it be better to have this shit out on the street? Maybe it will scare some people out of trying this stuff out. Oh, and from what I heard the bags this deadly dope is in have labels printed on them titled “Get high or die tryin.'” At least its producer can’t be accused of false advertising.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 8, 2006 at 8:16 pm

Posted in News

Rabid Disgust At One Store’s Policy Change

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So one kitten was reported as rabid at a PetSmart store. Now they are suspending their pet adoptions for the mid-Atlantic region. What, did the cat infect the entire area? From the article: “PetSmart has arranged more than 3 million adoptions in its 17-year history, and has only had one other rabies case, said Paul Amirault, district manager for PetSmart.” So now other cats may have to be put down because they couldn’t find a home via PetSmart. Fuck that shit. I wish we took such drastic measures on humans. So little Bobby has been caught beating up some kid? Time to give his 10 brothers and sisters, plus crack mom, the needle.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 7, 2006 at 8:13 pm

Posted in News

McNair Flies Out To Baltimore

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Well Steve McNair is going to be traded to the Ravens. I feel for him. McNair put his heart and soul into the Titans for years, playing through pain and injury, only to be told “well you make too much money so off with you.” I understand the NFL is a business, but fuck it; if a team signs someone to a contract, and they have to restructure the deal later on because they promised that athlete more money than the salary cap will allow, then screw the team. I don’t blame the player for wanting what’s coming to him. It’ll be interesting to see how the Ravens play this year with McNair at the helm, or at least until he gets hurt.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 7, 2006 at 8:12 pm

Posted in Sports

This Service Is Not Phone-y

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For at least six months I have been trying to get the better half to agree with me to switch our phone service over to Comcast from Verizon. Every time I bring this up she says “no.” The reason? She thinks it will be “weird” having phone service with a cable company. Yeah it’ll be weird. It’ll also be cheaper. Yesterday this sales rep from Comcast came to my door and let me know of some special deal where not only would we have our cable internet connection and a cheaper phone service than Verizon’s, but also we’d get digital cable all for $20 less a month than what we’re currently paying for standard cable, internet and Verizon phone service. In fact, even after this 12-month promotion expires, we’d still be getting these services for a lower rate than for what we’re paying now. When I told Mrs. kkk about this deal she expressed doubt due to the fact she doesn’t like the Digital Cable remote. When we moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 we signed up for some special deal from Comcast that gave us digital cable for six months free (or something similar). The service wasn’t bad, but I didn’t really care for it, mostly because I didn’t give a crap about the extra channels (although I did tune in to HBO’s OZ). However, I care about saving $20 per month, so I’ll deal with the hippie remote. After explaining to the better half that we’d be saving money every month, along with paying for all three services in one bill, I think I got her on the ropes. If this doesn’t work, I could always beat her, but I hold off on spousal abuse as a last resort. Well, maybe not last, but close to last. Well maybe more along the lines of when I don’t feel like bloodying up my work clothes…

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 7, 2006 at 8:11 pm

Posted in Life

06/06/06 — Sign Of …?

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Well, 06/06/06 has come and gone, and the apocalypse did not take place. However, I don’t plan on the Anti-Christ taking any action until she decides to leave her senator’s seat in New York and run for president, but that’s another year or so away. Actually I’m rather encouraged about Satan not taking over, seeing how the Angles pounded the Devil Rays 12-2 yesterday. In addition, the Pirates lost last night, so that means all is normal with the world.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 7, 2006 at 8:11 pm

Posted in Life

Sox It To This Fan

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I love Boston Red Sox fans. Sometimes I wonder what they like more, seeing the BoSox win or the Yankees lose. Then again, maybe I’m just jealous. After all, in Shittsburgh, the biggest rival to the Pirates is the .500 mark. Actually, years ago, Lloyd McCleandon said that he considers the St. Louis Cardinals to be the Pirates’ “rival” because the Cards are the best team in the NL Central and the Pirates aspire to become the Cardinals one day. Oh well, there’s always the Browns/Steelers, or would that now be Ravens/Steelers? Either way, I dedicate this entry to the following AIM conversation I had with my one BoSox pal from earlier today:

Him: watch sox yanks game last night?

kkk: yeah

kkk: i laughed

Him: ha

Him: fuckin josh beckett

Him: why do AL teams go out and spend huge money for NL pitchers?

kkk: dunno

Him: who did josh beckett ever face with the marlins that compared to the yankees?

If you don’t know the answer to the question posed in the last line of dialogue, Google is your friend.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 6, 2006 at 8:08 pm

Posted in Sports

My Final Comment On NHL Cable Location Criticism

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I get that the NHL isn’t the most popular league out there. I get that their cable home, OLN, isn’t high up on many people’s station line-ups. But for God’s sake Michael Wilbon, if you can’t figure out how to search for a freaking cable channel then thank Christ you aren’t registered to vote in Palm Beach County. And before you go bitching about the length of the Stanley Cup playoffs, check your calendar to see when exactly the NBA Finals conclude. For the record, I consider myself a casual fan of hockey; the only people I know in this Stanley Cup finals are Mark Recchi and Glen Wesley, and that’s because I remember both back in the early 1990s when Mark was a Penguin and Glen was a Bruin. It’s a shame that the Stanley Cup Finals isn’t getting more recognition because Game 1 was fantastic. Too bad Edmonton’s goalie got hurt and, from what I heard on the radio earlier today, is out for the rest of the playoffs. Because of this, it looks like Carolina is sure to win it all now. However, one never knows in the NHL; if the Oilers went by conventional wisdom they would have been eliminated in the first round.

Speaking of the Stanley Cup Finals, the WWE broadcast a commercial on OLN pimping their next appearance on RAW in Shittsburgh. Of course, the ad was aired at 9:08 p.m. on a night that Raw was making a stop in the city. Since the Oilers/Hurricanes game was in an intermission, I tuned over to USA just to see what I have been missing. I stopped watching wrestling several years ago, so I am out of the loop when it comes to storylines. I got to USA in time to see Terry Funk (?!) get into the ring, along with a bunch of other ECW’ers I remember watching 10 years ago. Wow. That’s all I’m going to say on this matter. Well, that and time can be quite cruel when it wants.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 6, 2006 at 8:07 pm

Posted in Sports

Another Update? Wiiiiiiiiie!

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So ESPN is giving constant updates on Michelle Wie’s qualifying performance for the U.S. Open. Here’s my question: Is the PGA supposedly a “male” league? If not, then why even bother having a LPGA? Let’s just have everybody play in golf leagues and see who qualifies. I have nothing against Wie, and if she gets exemptions to play in tournaments just because it will bring in more people to watch the event, then more power to her. And goddamn is Jim Gray the wrong guy to sub host Jim Rome is Burning. He seems like a good-enough sideline reporter, but when it comes to this format, they should have went with an extra “Best of Mike and Mike” or something, which says a lot because even if that show was on at 6 p.m. rather than 6 a.m., it would still put me to sleep. UPDATE: After reading Swift Terror’s latest blog entry, I guess the PGA is co-ed. This of course now means that the LPGA needs to rethink their closed-minded policies. AHHHHH, another ESPN update on Wie. This is more annoying than those “Chasing Bonds” updates that were run prior to Barry passing Ruth.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 5, 2006 at 8:06 pm

Posted in Sports

This Burger Chain’s Recent Ads Are King Of The Commercial Mountain

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There have been a few good commercials airing as of late, which is unusual for me because normally I think television commercials either try too hard to be over the top or are just bland. Ever since they brought back their former mascot (or whatever that king guy was supposed to be), Burger King has had a number of good ads. Their most recent ad pimping a Texas Double Whopper is an enjoyable one for me, especially the full version. The song is cute, and I like how the commercial builds momentum until that van gets pushed into a dump truck. The second ad that has immediately won me over is for some hippie soft drink. I don’t know if it’s a Mountain Dew rip-off, or some extra- caffeinated version of this greenish goodness. The commercial is about a farmer who is building a bigger, meaner scarecrow to fend off, and even destroy, a variety of woodland animals trashing his crops, including … well, you’ll have to watch it to figure out the payoff. And while I’m on this subject, I really liked Taco Bell’s “Think Outside The Bun” campaign, but it’s time to put it out to the pasture. My jump the shark moment on this batch of ads came with those “toga” commercials.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 5, 2006 at 8:05 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Blue Collar Comedy Concludes

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The Blue Collar Comedy quartet just had their “final” movie on Comedy Central last night, and I was unimpressed. I’m normally a fan of their comedy (sans that television show), but this third special left something to be desired. I didn’t mind most of the material; my problem was that the event took place in Washington, D.C., which is one of the last places I’d want to see these guys perform at. Why don’t you just do a show in Manhattan or Berkley next? The first two specials may not have taken place in “redneck” havens like Georgia or Mississippi, but nevertheless the crowds helped make the viewing experience enjoyable. This crowd looked mostly like inside-the-beltway schmoes, and there was just something missing from this element. I think one reason I like these stand-up specials is that Jeff, Larry, Bill and Ron complement each other well, although I’d consider Bill to be the weak link of the four, since he seems to have a similar brand of material that Jeff has. If this is indeed the last time these four will appear together on a stage, then peace out. You can’t argue about the success this “blue collar” stuff has experienced.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 5, 2006 at 8:05 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Sunday Grocery Shopping Stinks

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Oh Chirst, there’s a reason I don’t go grocery shopping on Sundays, and I re-discovered why. I think the worst part wasn’t the screaming children but rather the people who shop right after church and they have way too much perfume on. Not even the coffee aisle, with that sweet aroma, was enough to counter this old lady and her scent o’ death. That’s the last time I deviate from my normal routine of going grocery shopping Tuesday after work.

And while I was out grocery shopping, the better half, her dad and her brother came over to do something to our front yard. (When the better half does any kind of home improvement project, my only rule is to let me know if the property catches on fire and I have leave the house; otherwise, I just leave her alone.) Whenever it rains water seeps down into our fruit cellar, resulting in puddles being formed all over the floor in this little room where we mostly store food, cleaning products and cooking devices. It’s not like the basement is going to flood anytime soon, but it’s annoying to have to watch where you step when bringing up food in the pantry upstairs. They dug up the front yard and put in some pipe, which will now send the water that is destined for the basement out onto the street. Honestly, I don’t know what we’d do without Mrs. kkk’s brother. He’s a mechanic by trade, and a mighty good one, too. Not only that, but he’s pretty much everything in a man that I am not. He’s excellent with tools, knows how to fix just about anything under the sun, and goes hunting and boating. In other words, he’s a real man’s man while I am, well, you should know that answer by now.

It’s funny because when I first started dating the better half, her brother didn’t like me for the longest time. I think it took six years or so to finally warm up to me. I don’t fault him; after all, I was fucking his baby sister. He and his wife (who is also quite successful in her professional career) have a nine-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter, and for some reason they both adore me. Don’t ask why because their parents can’t figure this one out either. While the brother-in-law helps us out with a number of things like the aforementioned drainage system, we try to return the favor, mostly by baby-sitting their kids or helping them move from one house to another. However, there was one instance where I was the hero of the day, and it took place last Christmas. Every December 25 we head on over to the brother-in-law’s place, along with the rest of the immediate family, and celebrate Christmas there. Hey, as long as I don’t have to play host I’ll gladly eat someone else’s food and let them clean up. Well this past holiday, they had some people from out of state over, and they had a son about the same age as my niece-in-law. Turns out all three of them wanted to play Playstation, particularly the Looney Toones Space Race Game a certain uncle bought for them (see my April 22 entry for more information about this story). As my brother-in-law tried to get the game working, he was having an unsuccessful time at it and had his daughter bring me in to remedy the problem. After hitting the green reset button, everything worked fine, and the three kids started jumping up and down in glee saying, “Uncle kkk fixed the Playstation.” As my brother-in-law and I returned to the living room I remarked, “With all the things you build and fix for your kids and us, I get the most praise for turning on their video game system.” He laughed. After all, he may be able to fix a car but I know how to make the Playstation work.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 4, 2006 at 8:03 pm

Posted in Life

The Cost Of Incarceration

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Oh, bullshit. This guy gets cleared of rape/kidnapping charges and is freed from prison after 14 years and says after being awarded a $14+ million settlement that it “wasn’t about the money?” Like hell it wasn’t. It would be for me.

This brings up an interesting thought though – would you want to be wrongly convicted of a crime and spent a dozen or so years in jail only to be cleared of any wrongdoing thanks to DNA evidence if it meant getting a $10+ million payday? I don’t know how to respond to this. After all, you would have lost a decade or so of your life, but that only means the rest of your life will be set, providing you don’t spend your cash settlement on hookers and booze within the first month.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 3, 2006 at 7:57 pm

Posted in News

Go Out With A … Report

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I tend to bring up some not-so-flattering sides of the better half on occasion, but I also like to point out the good instances. Friday was her last day at a job she hated because her cunt boss has made work for her a living hell for the last year or so. When conducting her exit interview with human resources yesterday, she handed over a six-page, 3,750-word letter on the unprofessional conduct her supervisor demonstrated during her time at the job. It really was a thing of beauty. I told Mrs. kkk for months to compose something like this, but she didn’t want to, mostly because she likes to avoid conflict whenever possible at her places of employment. Well, that all came to a screeching halt a few months ago when her bitch boss wrote her up for “excessive absenteeism.” Of course, by “excessive absenteeism,” she meant using the excess hours she had worked the week before to take a day off. This fired her up so much I couldn’t get her to stop documenting and outlining all the inappropriate things her boss had done since October of 1993. After I put my finishing touches on the letter, it went to the HR department, which is where it will probably wither on the vine. After all, the only people more worthless than a company’s marketing division are its human resource employees. But even if nothing is done about this, this was a nice stress-reliever for the better half as she left this shit hole of a job.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 3, 2006 at 7:55 pm

Posted in Life

The Heat Is On

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The Miami Heat made it to the NBA Finals for the first time in franchise history. Now I thought Pat Riley pulled a bitch move by kicking out Stan Van Gundy as Heat head coach last year, but in the end it got the team to where they wanted to be, so unless you’re last name begins with a “G” and rhymes with “Undy,” there’s nothing much else you can say.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 3, 2006 at 7:54 pm

Posted in Sports

Tightened Terrorism Belts

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So now New Yorkers don’t want other parts of the country to fund their anti-terrorism budgets if it means them having to tighten their fiscal belt. I’m not going to make the obvious “Now all these liberals believe there are terrorism threats,” joke because RIGHT-WING RADIO has already beaten me to this punch. Instead, I’m just going to say that not only will New York City eventually get the same amount of money it got last year, but also that there will get at least a 10 percent increase in this funding. If Bush threatens a veto on any bill giving NYC more money, then they will end up getting at least a 25 percent increase over last year’s amount.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 2, 2006 at 7:51 pm

Posted in News

Roadkill Count

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Well another stupid bird flew into my house’s back porch window/screen and was lying dead in front of the back door yesterday afternoon, the second to do so since moving here in 2004. Now if this screen was clear white, I could understand why birds would mistake the screen for open space. However, this screen thingy is probably older than me and has spots and other kinds of gray stains on it. It’s amazing how an animal can beat the odds and survive all the dangers of the wild as a fledgling only to go SPLAT when it becomes a healthy adult. Then again, some animals aren’t that bright. One image I’ll never forget is of a squirrel getting run over last summer. I was in a 25 mph zone with a SUV in front of me going the speed limit as well. Suddenly, this stupid squirrel runs out right in front of the vehicle, got hit by the front left tire, did several flips in the air and hit the pavement. It’s not like the vehicle was speeding or aiming for the thing, and if the squirrel would have waited just two seconds longer he would have had safe passage. Part of me was wondering if the thing just couldn’t take living in this Bush economy and decided to end it all.

In my history of driving, I have only killed one animal, and I don’t even count it against me because this bird deserved to get it. I was in Ohio and driving in a residential area. In front of me were a flock of birds doing what birds usually do in the middle of the road at 7 a.m. I was about a block away and all but one of them scattered. The speed limit was 25 mph and I slowed it down to 20 because there’s enough road kill in the world to begin with. But the stupid bird just stood there looking at me, like it was daring me to continue. Well I did, the bird hit my front end and my Corsica won the battle. I guess in the end this was a good thing because that bird didn’t deserve to reproduce. Now if we could only do this with the human race.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 2, 2006 at 7:50 pm

Posted in Life

Moore News About Fahrenheit Movie

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I haven’t talked about Mikey Moore in a while, so I feel obligated to report a veteran suing him for $85 million because Mikey used his image without permission in “Fahrenheit 9/11.”

A U.S. war veteran has filed a $85 million lawsuit against Oscar-winning filmmaker Michael Moore for falsely portraying him in the documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11.”

Sergeant Peter Damon, a National Guardsman from Massachusetts who lost both his arms in the Iraq war, claims the film caused him “a loss of reputation, emotional distress, embarrassment and personal humiliation” after it featured a clip of an interview he did with NBC’s “Nightly News.”

Damon claims the way Moore edited the clip made him look to be anti-war by depicting him as “voicing a complaint about the war effort,” when he was actually complaining about “the excruciating type of pain” from his injuries.

Damon is seeking damages in the lawsuit filed in Suffolk Superior Court, Massachusetts, claiming Moore never asked for his consent to use the clip, adding, “(Damon) agrees with and supports the President (George W. Bush) and the United States’ war effort, and he was not left behind.”

Damon’s lawyer, Dennis Lynch, says, “It’s upsetting to him because he’s lived his life supportive of his government, he’s been a patriot, he’s been a soldier, and he’s now being portrayed in a movie that is the antithesis of all of that.”

While I doubt nothing will be done about this, I would be disappointing my fan base by letting the obvious “I guess someone might not be able to super-size his meals for a month” joke go by. So there you have it.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 1, 2006 at 7:48 pm

Posted in News

Tax-Cut It Out

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So I was listening to RIGHT-WING RADIO today, and during one top-of-the-hour newscast the guy said that the state of Pennsylvania has, surprise surprise, a budget surplus. And that our wonderful Ed Rendell said he wanted the surplus to go toward, get this, tax cuts. You know it’s an election year when tax-and-spend Democrat pieces of shit want to give you back your hard-earned money. The sad thing is the rank-and-file of his party will actually believe Swin-dell’s line of bullshit.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 1, 2006 at 7:48 pm

Posted in News

Not A Good Val-Pack

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I am usually a stickler for reading the fine print of an offer or deal. However, there was one coupon that I contend was intentionally misleading. Every month or so I get these coupons in the mail called Val-Pack. Most of the stuff is for pizza parlors not close to my residence or for products that I have no need for, like aluminum siding. Well, this one vision place advertises in this Val-Pack, and last month I used a coupon for an eye exam and two pairs of contact lenses. So far so good. I then decided to use another coupon a few weeks later for a pair of eyeglasses. Now the coupon says get $75 off a pair of frames and lenses. I look at the fine print to this coupon and it says “Minimum purchase $175.” Fair enough. When I returned to the eye place for my second pair of contact lenses and a follow-up exam I showed them this coupon and said I was interested in getting a pair of glasses; the last time I got my eyes checked was six years ago, and I can’t remember when I got my last set of glasses. Anyway, this lady tells me that the frames I picked out don’t qualify for the discount. When I asked why she said the minimum purchase had to be $175 after the discount, so the frame/lens total had to be $250. She then proceeded to act like I was three years old and said that many people don’t read the fine print of coupons. Uh, bitch. I did read the fine print. I’ve just never had the “minimum purchase” be used after the applied discount.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 1, 2006 at 7:47 pm

Posted in Life