KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for August 2006

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 8/31/06

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Today’s caller was a 28-year old chick that doesn’t know what to do about her husband. She has been married for eight years and has two kids. Recently she’s had concerns about the way her hubby has been acting, especially when a few days ago he got drunk at 4 p.m. and got verbally abusive with her when she told him they weren’t going to have sex. Oh, and also their one kid had a friend over for a play date at this time, too.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 31, 2006 at 7:33 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

Change Is Good, Counting It Isn’t

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So on Sunday the better half is having some sort of Tupperware party or whatever. I have no clue what the hell is going on, but she’s inviting some people over to buy some crappy houseware items and I’ll be confined to either to top floor or the basement. Whenever Mrs. kkk is expecting visitors she cleans up the house, and this upcoming event is no exception to this habit. To help her with the illusion that we’re not white trash, I decided to mow the lawn in preparation for her big brouhaha. Actually, I mowed the lawn today because the remains of Hurricane Earnesto are scheduled to make an appearance in the Mid-Atlantic region on Friday, and today would be the only time I would probably have in the next week or so to mow the lawn. Besides, I hate cutting the grass on a weekend; it takes away from the whole concept of doing nothing for a few days before going back to work. As I was preparing the lawnmower for another go around the kkk estate, I checked the amount of gas the mower had in the tank. There wasn’t a huge reserve, but I thought there would be enough to last one more mowing session.

I thought wrong.

Sonofabitch. I was about three-quarters finished with my mowing when the lawnmower began to sputter. I knew then that I’d be making a pit stop to the local Quickie Mart because the reserve gas can was empty. Since the better half mowed the lawn last time, she must have used up the last of the petrol. Oh well. I didn’t feel like using a credit card to pay for only two gallons of fuel, so I busted into the change jar and got out $3.50 in change to go along with the $2 cash in my wallet. Now I know what you’re thinking, “OMG he’s one of those ‘pays-with-change’ assholes.” Well, this time I was. However, I have a rule about paying with change. I try to make the transaction as easy as possible for the cashier because I HATED having someone just toss several dollars worth of quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies onto my workstation in order to pay for their purchase. I counted several times the $3.50 amount I had in just quarters, dimes and nickels (no pennies this time) and headed off to the local Quickie Mart.

As I pulled up to the store I stood by the entrance (out of the way of other customers mind you) to sort out this change once again. I put four quarters in one hand, along with ten dimes. I then put two dimes and six nickels on the other side of the quarters. In my other hand I had 20 nickels. I then went into the store and waited my turn. To my surprise there was only one cashier working during afternoon rush hour, but whatever. I approached him and said in a clear voice, “I’d like to prepay $5.50 for pump #3. I’m going to pay with $2 in bills and $3.50 in change.” I then put the four quarters on the counter. I followed it up with the 10 dimes followed by the 20 nickels and then the two dimes and six nickels. I had these coins spaced out so any right-thinking person could tell that I was trying to make the cashier’s job easer by separating the coins by type and in increments of $1 per pile. Hell, I was even telling this kid what I was doing as I was making my piles: “Here’s $1 in quarters, $1 in dimes, $1 in nickels and 50 cents in dimes and nickels.” So what does this asshole do? He takes all of the change, puts it into one big piles and asks, “Did you want to pay for this with exact change?”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 31, 2006 at 7:32 pm

Posted in Life

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 8/30/06

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We have a tie.

Caller A: This woman used to be married to this guy. They already had a few kids (I didn’t hear if they were through adoption or screwing), and then they adopted this girl. Well, it turns out her man was molesting the kid, and eventually he got busted. The happy couple has since split up, and the ex-hubby’s jail sentencing hearing is quickly approaching. This lady was asked by the State to appear and give some testimony as to what a bastard this guy was, but she’s not sure if she wants to do this. The reason? Because it might give her ex a longer sentence.

Caller B: This divorced mom, complete with 14-year old boy, started a relationship with this guy who was also the father of a 16-year old girl. One day the caller walked in on the kids having sex. Her question was how to keep these two kids away from each other.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2006 at 7:32 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

Global Warming Millions Of Years Before SUVs

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The hell?

A 30-mile maze canyons in Antarctica was carved out of bedrock by the catastrophic draining of subglacial lakes during global warming between 12 million and 14 million years ago, according to university researchers who warn a similar event today could have serious environmental consequences.

You mean to tell me Republicans were around back then? Damn. Oh, speaking of wacky weather, I had Hannity’s radio show on for a few minutes today (Why oh why did Salem Radio get rid of Dave Ramsey?) and he had a caller that said if Bush caused Hurricane Katrina last year, shouldn’t he get some credit for moving Hurricane Ernesto away from Florida? For some reason this made me laugh. I guess Bush’s decision to steer Ernesto away from the Sunshine State was because the hurricane was going to hit some white neighborhoods. Think about that before you go vote in this year’s elections. Should Democrats take control of Congress, W. is going to fuck some shit up for you Seaboard districts with next year’s wave of hurricanes. Hell, I’m sure he also has power over tornadoes, earthquakes and volcanoes, so even if you live away from a large body of water, be warned.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2006 at 7:29 pm

Posted in News

Pirate Player Has Something Positive To Play For In September

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This headline made me laugh: Bucs’ Sanchez Has Something to Play For.

Freddy Sanchez and Jason Bay are among the few Pittsburgh Pirates with something tangible to achieve in September. They hope it’s not too long until the entire club is playing for something in the final full month of the season.

Sanchez’s second two-run single of the game finished off Pittsburgh’s three-run rally in the 11th inning and the Pirates withstood 20 hits to beat the Chicago Cubs 10-9 Wednesday and sweep their series.

Michael Barrett’s run-scoring single and Ronny Cedeno’s sacrifice fly off Marty McLeary (1-0) put the Cubs up 9-7 in the top of the inning. But Jose Castillo’s fourth hit, an RBI single, got the Pirates to within a run and Sanchez won it with a pop-fly single down the right field line against Ryan Dempster (1-7).

Sanchez is the NL batting leader with a .347 average, and is better still in clutch situations with a .423 average (52-for-123) with runners in scoring position.

You bet he does – to be good enough to get the hell off this team via a trade or free agency.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2006 at 7:27 pm

Posted in Sports

Teaching Pays, But How Much?

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So yesterday I got this pseudo-magazine in the mail that my local government school district publishes. As I was thumbing through it I got to a section where I was introduced to the new teachers at Norwin High School. Goddamn are these people young; at least three-fourths of them have to be in their low- to mid-20s (I can’t remember a non-substitute teacher I had that was in his or her 30s, let alone 20s, during my school days). Most seem to be doing lower-grade subjects, which got me the thinking of a conversation I had with this chick back in Ohio about teacher’s pay.

This chick from my time in Ohio had a degree in elementary education, or something similar, and was looking for a job teaching these little brats. Somehow we got on the subject of teacher’s compensation. Genuinely curious about this subject I asked her if she thought she should be paid the same as a high-school professor. She said yes, and I asked why. She couldn’t give an answer, and when I compared her job of making sure everyone has a blankie for naptime to the 12th grade AP Science prof dealing with chemicals that could blow up the school he or she is teaching in, I could tell by the stare I was receiving that I was getting into trouble. Oh well. Too fucking bad.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2006 at 7:24 pm

Posted in Life

Bathroom Banter

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Now this is funny.

Today, CNN’s Kyra Phillips got caught, well, with her skirt down. Someone in CNN left her mic open and on the air as she went to the loo in the middle of President Bush’s speech commemorating the Katrina anniversary. So instead of getting the president’s remarks, CNN’s audience got that and Phillips in some girl-chat.

However I’m a bit suspicious over the authenticity of this bathroom banter.

Yeah, I’m very lucky in that regard with my husband. My husband is handsome and he is genuinely a loving, you know, no ego.[unintelligible] you know what I’m saying. Just a really passionate, compassionate great, great human being. And they exist. They do exist. They’re hard to find. Yup. But they are out there.

Bitch you knew your mic was on the whole time. No married woman says such things about her lesser half.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 29, 2006 at 9:51 pm

Posted in News