KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for September 2006

The Justice System Is Mental

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This story caught my attention because I was born on the year he escaped and began living his second life. Yeah he had a real “mental” condition. That’s why he was able to evade the law for three decades. Fuck him. And what is up with stabbing someone to death in 1964 and then being eligible for parole in 1980? Yet another reason you need to off anyone trying to harm you or someone you care about – you sure as fuck aren’t going to get any assistance from the State in this matter.

A convicted murderer who escaped from a Michigan psychiatric facility in 1976 was back behind bars Thursday after living most of his 30 years on the run as an otherwise law-abiding family man in Tennessee, authorities said.

Thomas Ball, 76, was arrested at his Nashville home Wednesday morning, Deputy U.S. Marshal Danny Shelton said.

Ball had been using the name Thomas Fry and had run a storage business near Nashville for years with a woman he called his wife, Shelton said. After she died last year, he turned to the government for financial help, and that led the marshals to his door.

“Maybe he never thought the knock would come, but it did yesterday,” Shelton said Thursday.

Ball was convicted in the 1964 of stabbing a 19-year-old woman to death at the Strand Hotel in Detroit, said Michigan Corrections Department spokesman Leo Lalonde. He said Ball had known the woman for about a week.

Ball was sentenced to 20 to 40 years in prison and would have been released on parole by 1980 if he hadn’t escaped, according to Michigan records.

In 1976, he was at the Center for Forensic Psychiatry in Ypsilanti, Mich., when he made his break.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 14, 2006 at 11:03 pm

Posted in News

Every Dog Has His Day (In Court)

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No matter who you are, there’s always a bigger dog in the yard.

TV reality star Duane “Dog” Chapman was arrested early this morning in Hawaii, his publicist, Mona Wood, confirmed. Wood said she could provide no details. MSNBC reports said U.S. Marshals arrested Chapman and two family members – Leland and Tim Chapman – on kidnapping charges.

That show of his is one of those programs where if I’m channel surfing and come across it I’ll watch it for a few minutes before moving on. Sometimes I’ll watch them catch some crackhead, but most of the time after five minutes I’m asking myself, “Why do I have this on?” Another program I treat in a similar fashion is that “Miami Ink” show. It’s about some Florida tattoo shop and we get to see these people get paid for defiling willing patrons. Actually, from the shows I’ve seen, many of the customers have rather touching reasons for wanting various tattoos inked onto them. One person wanted to remember her father. Another wanted a portrait of his son, while a lady got one of her kid who died too soon. I’m sure this store also gets its share of drunks who will wake up the next day wondering how they got a grim reaper holding a can of beer on their shoulder blade, but there’s probably a reason why these ink sessions don’t make it on the air.

While I’m on the subjects of tattoos, I’m rather indifferent to them. If you want to brand yourself, then go for it. As for me, I have marked up my body enough; I don’t need to pay someone to do it for me. There’s that scar I got on my right thigh when I was a kid chasing pigeons just outside the Carnegie Museum. Then I have that marking on my left which reminded me as a pre-teen not to go biking on those sloped curbs. How I didn’t break any bones from that incident is beyond me.

Speaking of breaking bones, I’ve been pretty lucky in this regard, too. The only time my idiotic behavior resulted in a cast or splint when I tried to slide uphill into a coiled-up garden hose that was acting as first base in a backyard baseball game. Not only did I dislocate my right middle and ring finger knuckles, but I was also called out. To make matters worse, a day or so later I was playing some Capture the Flag-like game late at night and unknowingly hid in a patch of poison ivy. That was not a fun summer vacation, especially since all this happened just one week before my junior year of high school. But if this is the worst I have done to my body when it came to doing stupid shit as a kid, then I consider myself extremely fortunate.

EDIT: I just found an update on the Dog situation. I guess I could joke about how Mr. Dog jumped bail, but what really got the big LOL was the bolded part of the article below. It’s nice to know that the Mexican government cares about at least of their own crossing the U.S. border. Now how about you guys doing something about the million-plus other people from your shit hole of a country that do the same thing every year? Oh well, at least the Dog family has some fresh material for sweeps.

MSNBC has learned that U.S. officials have arrested TV reality star Duane “Dog” Chapman and two family members in Hawaii for extradition to Mexico

The charges stem from Chapman’s capture of Max Factor heir Andrew Luster on June 18, 2003, in Puerto Villarta, Mexico, said Marshals spokeswoman Nikki Credic in Washington.

The three are being held in Honolulu. They will face an extradition hearing to Mexico under terms of treaties between the U.S. and Mexico, Credic said.

Charges have been pending against the three since local police in Mexico arrested them shortly after they roped in Luster. They posted bail but never returned to Puerto Villarta for their court hearing on July 15, 2003, Credic said.

Mexican authorities demanded that the Chapmans transfer Luster to Mexican police. Their refusal to do so led to their initial arrest.

A U.S. warrant for their arrest was signed by a federal judge in Honolulu on Wednesday. Bounty hunting is considered a crime in Mexico. At that time, Mexican prosecutors maintained that Luster’s capture violated their sovereignty.

The Chapmans each could face up to 8 years in prison if they are returned to Mexico and convicted on kidnapping charges.

Luster is now in jail, serving a 124-year term for rape.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 14, 2006 at 11:02 pm

Posted in Entertainment

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 9/13/06

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This caller has never been married and has two kids with two different men. She’s currently living at her father’s house and has stayed there for a few years. Her dad watches the kids free of charge while she works overnights (as a babysitter). This woman is mad because her father said that he’s going out of state for a week because he’s helping his one friend move. The reason she’s upset? He won’t be able to watch her kids.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 13, 2006 at 11:01 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

Right/Left/Feminazi Wing Radio

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Now this is some sad news.

Air America Radio will announce a major restructuring on Friday, which is expected to include a bankruptcy filing, three independent sources have told ThinkProgress … The right wing is sure to seize on Air America’s financial woes as a sign that progressive talk radio is unpopular.

RIGHT-WING RADIO has been seizing more reasons why regressive talk radio is unpopular than Hitler seized land during World War II.

In fact, Air America succeeded at creating something that didn’t exist: the progressive talk radio format.

Uh, wait a minute. Let me hit the rewind button.

In fact, Air America succeeded at … the progressive talk radio format.

Let me hit it again.

Air America Radio … bankruptcy filing.

Uh, OK.

Air America has ended its relationship with host Jerry Springer.

Well I now know why Jerry Springer chose to dance with the stars.

That format is now established and strong and will continue with or without Air America. Indeed, many of the country’s most successful and widely-syndicated progressive talk hosts — Ed Schultz and Stephanie Miller, for instance — aren’t even associated with Air America.


I really don’t care if Air America goes down the shitter or gains 500 stations. What I really cared about were the comments after this article.

— Jason M. Hendler, before you begin posting here, why don’t you make a call for the Pres. Reagan docu-drama to be broadcast?

— By the way, didn’t Rush Limbaugh have a television show that flopped harder and faster than Air America radio? I’ll be nobody wants to bring THAT news up.

— I’ve heard many truck drivers and elderly people calling into Air America claiming they’ve been converted. We can’t cede any format to the right.

— that’s too bad. hopefully they can keep operating into the distant future. they certainly gained lots of ground reaching new markets in the past couple years. I’m not a fan of Clear Channel, but their support shows a need in the market for the liberal format. They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t think they’d make a lot of money.

— R.I.P., Air America. If it had been a right-wing network, this administration would have secretly funneled millions of dollars into it. Ya know, if they happen to do that sort of thing.

— Whatever happens to Air America, the “stars” on their roster will continue in some way, shape, or form.

— I’m sad to see Air America on the ropes, but very glad to hear that Clear Channel is doing a talent search for progressives.

— If that happens, a lot of radio stations will have dead air if they don’t replace the programming themselves…

And since when do regressives look to Clear Channel as being a savior rather than a tool of the devil?

I guess it’s not all gloom and doom for Commie Radio. There are those feminazis who are backing a network that provides nine hours of programming per day (but it will soon increase to TWELVE) on several radio stations.

Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem, and Rosie O’Donnell are backing a new left-wing radio network that plans to appeal to women listeners and counter the dominance of conservative talk radio and its “male point of view.”

The new talk-radio network is called GreenStone and will be officially launched on Sept. 12, 2006. Its Web site describes it as “a clear alternative to the polarizing, highly political talk commonly heard on AM radio.”

Steinhem, in a recent interview with The New York Times, has also made clear that her network is at war with Rush Limbaugh for audience share.

“We know what women want,” says GreenStone’s mission statement, “and have the entertainment, political, social and business connections to deliver it . . . Our goal is to build the leading brand for women’s talk programming.”

Will there be bra burning, men hating or any of that other good stuff I’ve come to expect from these chicks that need dicks? Nah, there’ll be discussions about plastic surgery, cooking and spring cleaning.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 13, 2006 at 10:54 pm

Posted in Entertainment

New Radio Home, Same Ol’ Succos

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When WPGB, my local FM RIGHT-WING RADIO station, set up shop in the Shittsburgh market a few years ago, one of its marketing gimmick was to goof on the other talk-radio stations in the area, particularly KDKA, that catered to an older demographic. When WPGB took Rush’s show away from KDKA, one of the lines they used to announce this coup was something to the extent was that Rush would no longer be a victim of the “left-wing conspiracy” of Pirates baseball, which pre-empted regular radio programming on KDKA whenever it was time for the Bucs to go out there and lose once again. God only knows why regular programming took a backseat – it’s the freaking Pirates. Anyway, on the way to work today guess what I heard on the radio?

The left-wing cabal that is the Pirates will now be heard on WPGB starting next year. Goddamnit. I found this line to be particularly rich.

“We feel this will help us sell more tickets,” said Tim Schuldt, the Pirates’ vice president of marketing, sales and broadcasting. “Make no mistake, we’re in the business of selling tickets.”

Well you people sure as fuck aren’t in the business of winning games.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 13, 2006 at 10:52 pm

Posted in Sports

Yet Another NFL Prediction Entry (Part II)

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If you don’t know what I’m doing, go read Sunday’s entry.

Week 14:

Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Baltimore at Kansas City
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Minnesota at Detroit
New England at Miami
New Orleans at Dallas
N.Y. Giants at Carolina
Oakland at Cincinnati
Philadelphia at Washington
Tennessee at Houston
Green Bay at San Francisco
Seattle at Arizona
Denver at San Diego

Holy divisional matchups, Batman. Indianapolis at Jacksonville, New England at Miami, Philadelphia at Washington and Denver at San Diego. There’s also Atlanta at Tampa Bay, Baltimore at Kansas City and New York at Carolina. As much as I want to see Emily Manning crushed again by Carolina, Indianapolis at Jacksonville always seems to produce a good contest.

Week 15:

Cleveland at Baltimore
Detroit at Green Bay
Houston at New England
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Miami at Buffalo
N.Y. Jets at Minnesota
Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants
Shittsburgh at Carolina
Tampa Bay at Chicago
Washington at New Orleans
Denver at Arizona
Kansas City at San Diego
St. Louis at Oakland

This is like Week 14, only in reverse. Shittsburgh at Carolina looks to be a safe bet, and Kansas City at San Diego could have playoff implications. However, I’m afraid that Philadelphia at New York might get the green light due to media market reasons. Fuck that. I’m going with Kansas City at San Diego because of my East Coast bias.

Week 16:

Baltimore at Shittsburgh
Carolina at Atlanta
Chicago at Detroit
Indianapolis at Houston
New England at Jacksonville
New Orleans at N.Y. Giants
Tampa Bay at Cleveland
Tennessee at Buffalo
Washington at St. Louis
Arizona at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Denver
San Diego at Seattle

Baltimore at Shittsburgh usually produces a physical game. If Atlanta can somehow be in the playoff picture, their match with Carolina could be interesting. New England at Jacksonville would be a repeat of last year’s Wild Card game. Cincinnati at Denver and San Diego at Seattle look are my finalists. I’ll go with Cincinnati at Denver.

Week 17:

Atlanta at Philadelphia
Buffalo at Baltimore
Carolina at New Orleans
Cleveland at Houston
Detroit at Dallas
Green Bay at Chicago
Jacksonville at Kansas City
Miami at Indianapolis
New England at Tennessee
Oakland at N.Y. Jets
Shittsburgh at Cincinnati
Seattle at Tampa Bay
St. Louis at Minnesota
Arizona at San Diego
San Francisco at Denver

This will be tricky. Some good teams could be resting starters and some so-so teams will be in the fight for their playoff lives. Jacksonville at Kansas City, Miami at Indianapolis, Shittsburgh at Cincinnati stand out the most for me this week. Gotta go divisional once again: Shittsburgh at Cincinnati.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 12, 2006 at 10:49 pm

Posted in Sports

Five Years Later

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Today is a somber occasion for the New York/New England area. Thanks to some events beyond the control of many Northeasterners, this brave group of folks must join together today to cope with and possibly overcome the day’s tragic events.

But enough of talking about the New England Patriots trading wide receiver Deion Branch to the Seattle Seahawks for a 2007 draft pick.

Today marks the five-year anniversary of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Now it would be convenient for me to say how this event affected my worldview, but it really did not. On this day five years ago I woke up at around 10-10:30 a.m., ate breakfast, did a few odds and ends around my Middletown, Ohio, townhouse, and then went to peruse on-line job listings, among a few other Internet-related Web sites that unemployed men frequent with when they’re home alone (ain’t nothing like playing on-line backgammon in your underwear). As I turned on the radio to listen to Rush, I knew something was not right; a newscast was being aired, and it was well past the top-of-the-hour news update. For several minutes I didn’t know what was going on and was impatiently waiting for either Drudge’s Web site (I still had dialup at the time) or the radio news to tell me that a couple of airplanes had crashed into the World Trade Center. When I finally heard what happened, I didn’t gasp, cry or feel like we were in a state of WWIII. Even when I had the television news on later that day and saw those politicians in D.C. break out into song, I rolled my eyes over how phony this “spontaneous” moment seemed. (I can’t remember what they were singing – either “God Bless America” or “America the Beautiful.”) I guess all this makes me a terrorist. I wasn’t cheering for more American deaths, but I didn’t have a life-changing moment during this day.

The odd thing about 9/11 is that while it didn’t really affect me all that much, it was the exact opposite for the better half. Ever since we met in 1997, we were polar opposites when it came to current events. I was the cynical newsy curmudgeon who was hooting and hollering on Election Night as Bush stole won his first presidential term — OMGSELECTEDNOTELECTEDLOL2000! She was the one who would take charge of the remote control when I would step away for a moment and turn to the Cartoon Network so she could watch “Angry Beavers,” or that stupid “Rocco’s Modern Life.” We didn’t talk politics and she didn’t vote. She didn’t mind Bill Clinton as president, but she knew nothing about him other than he got a hummer from some intern in the Oval Office. When 9/11 hit, it changed her outlook on life. She didn’t break down and start wailing like someone being “saved” at a Baptist church, but I could tell there was some uneasiness (well, more so than usual – you’d be the same if you had to live with me in sin). Yes, she was one of those people who went out and bought an American flag days after this terrorist attack. In fact, the flag she bought was so damn big it was too heavy for its holder and couldn’t stand upright on our front steps. She also bought one of those car ribbon-sticker things that came out en masse shortly thereafter, which is still on her car today in all of its faded glory. In addition, she began paying attention to current events; it was weird to have her come home from classes and start asking me what I thought about a specific news story of the day.

Because five years have jaded me even more than I was back in 2001, I’m going to go back into the arkkkives and see what I wrote about this event shortly after it happened. From September 18, 2001:

A week ago America was hit by a well-coordinated terrorist attack, and the casualties included the World Trade Center’s twin towers, the Pentagon and thousands of innocent bystanders.

This event’s fallout was predictable, or at least what could be expected, considering something like this has never occurred on American soil before. Allies from around the world sent condolences and offered support. Adversaries, particularly in Afghanistan, braced for a retaliatory strike that, so far, hasn’t materialized.

And amidst the rubble, where a proud symbol of capitalism once stood, Americans showed the world their resolve by working tirelessly to search for survivors under hundreds of tons of steel and concrete.

But despite a country where nearly 300 million of its citizens have come together in a nationalist frenzy not seen since World War II (Wal-Mart alone sold over 115,000 American flags on the day of the attack), some uneasiness lingers in the air.

After getting over the initial shock, many people are asking how can an incident like this happen on American soil. This question does not have an easy answer, and one scapegoat isn’t enough to sweep this incident under a rug. It’s simple to blame this attack on the CIA or FBI not doing their job, or to lambaste poorly trained airport security guards who are one rung above a mall cop on the law enforcement ladder.

Sadly, neither of these parties could have prevented what happened last Tuesday.

I’m not advising America turns itself into a police state, but law and order is something that must be taken more seriously now than ever before. For years, it seems that other priorities took precedence over security in the U.S. A recent example of this attitude at work could be found on Capitol Hill not too long ago.

Back when deficit spending was still considered the Boogeyman, a budgetary power move would have forced President George W. Bush to choose between defense spending and having Congress go in the red.

Prior to the World Trade Center attack, Democrats were strategizing on how to get their preferred appropriations passed, thus giving Bush little wiggle room for his priorities, one of them being increased defense spending. Examples like this show that security, as a whole, hasn’t been given the proper attention it deserved for some time. Now there are two buildings in New York City that are no more.

Please note that I’m not blaming Democrats, nor Bill Clinton, for the events that took place on September 11, 2001. (Ironically, one of Bush’s biggest initiatives, a missile defense shield, would have been ineffective at stopping four groups of terrorists from hijacking airplanes and flying into targets.) We as Americans all got caught with our pants down on this occasion.

It’s easy to disregard security measures when there looks to be no dark cloud forming along the horizon. There were warning signs — the U.S.S. Cole attack last year, the embassy bombings in Kenya back in 1998 — but it didn’t seem as harrowing because these events took place in another hemisphere.

Watching terrorist attacks on CNN may be a disturbing experience, especially if footage is graphic enough, but nothing prepares you for when the explosions occur in your own backyard.

Now that the immediate horror has subsided, a few long-term ramifications from last week’s attack are slowly surfacing.

One is economical.

Aside from stock markets worldwide shooting in a downward spiral, companies — namely those involved in the airline industry — are announcing layoffs in the tens of thousands. Leading the way is Boeing, which announced cutting 30,000 jobs as a result of the recent terrorist attack.

Along with financial losses, there is a very real threat to the American way of life. Shortly after the second twin tower collapsed, politicians were already talking about how Americans would have to give up some freedoms normally taken for granted in order for a safer standard of living.

In a way, America is a victim if its own success. In the land of the free, there were many crevices that a terrorist could slither into and wreak havoc upon. With an all-access pass to just about anywhere in this country, it was only a matter of time before an attack of this magnitude would occur on American soil. For years, we have taken our freedom for granted, thinking that no harm could come from open borders and lax security. Alas, that is not the case anymore.

Undoubtedly, the U.S. is not like a lot of other countries when it comes to security procedures. Most airline passengers in other countries endure a three-hour wait to get on board a plane because of safety precautions. Americans spend hours at an airport because their flight got delayed. Foreigners have noted the lack of law enforcement figures on public streets when compared to their homelands. Even the abundance of public trash cans, which can be an accommodating spot to plant explosives, baffles citizens from places used to terrorism, such as England or Spain.

Like it or not, there are some extra precautions that will soon take place at public venues. Additional airport security, more sky marshals working undercover on flights, unbreakable doors to a plane’s cockpit are all reasonable changes and should be enacted as soon as possible. Forbidding containers at stadiums may force someone to shell out a few dollars at concession stands, but eating an overpriced hot dog is better than eating shrapnel any day.

While measures like these will change the way Americans live their lives, there shouldn’t be any serious threat to fundamental freedoms. How will we know if the line from being careful to being cut off is crossed? It will probably be an ongoing learning process involving trial and error, but know this: If Americans recoil drastically from their way of living back as a result of Tuesday’s events, then the terrorists flying those ill-fated planes have already won.

If the 9/11 terrorist attacks made you re-think your life and what was really important to you, then cool. If it made you into a better person (or at least a “better person” by your definition), then rock on. However, if you were on the sideline wondering why you weren’t feeling the same wave of “patriotism” because you didn’t buy a flag the day after 9/11, or if you skipped some “freedom rally” held a week or so after these attacks, don’t worry: you weren’t alone. For some of us, it takes a really unbelievable event to occur in order for our faith to be tested, like, say, the Pirates winning the World Series.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 11, 2006 at 10:46 pm

Posted in Life

Yet Another NFL Prediction Entry (Part I)

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Each year when the NFL season gets under way just about every sports journalist and fan out there starts making predictions from which team will have a “breakout” season to which team will win the Super Bowl. No, I won’t be doing this today. (I already made my AFC and NFC “Division Results” entries a while back, and I can’t wait to see how wrong my predictions turn out.) I’m going to try something different.

This year, starting with Week 10, instead of having a pre-determined Sunday Night game penciled in the NFL schedule months before Week 1’s opening kick-off, the league will wait until 12 days before determining which match-ups get a prime-time slot. (Week 17’s game of the week will only be announced 6 days prior.)

What I’m going to do in this entry is guess each Week’s Sunday Night game. Below are the match-ups for all Sunday games for Weeks 10-13. (I’ll do Weeks 14-17 in a future entry.) At the end of each week’s list of games I’ll make my prediction along with some spur-of-the-moment thoughts.

Week 10:

Baltimore at Tennessee
Buffalo at Indianapolis
Chicago at N.Y. Giants
Cleveland at Atlanta
Green Bay at Minnesota
Houston at Jacksonville
Kansas City at Miami
New Orleans at Shittsburgh
N.Y. Jets at New England
San Diego at Cincinnati
San Francisco at Detroit
Washington at Philadelphia
Denver at Oakland
Dallas at Arizona
St. Louis at Seattle

Chicago at N.Y. Giants might be a classic “defense (Chicago) v. offense (New York)” match-up, as could be the Kansas City at Miami game. San Diego at Cincinnati looks to be a good one to watch, also. We also have Washington at Philadelphia, but I have a feeling one of those teams will be in the crapper by this time and pretty much out of playoff contention. (In addition, NBC will be airing these games, not ESPN.) I’d like to see San Diego at Cincinnati, but because of the media bias factor I’ll go with Chicago at New York.

Week 11:

Atlanta at Baltimore
Buffalo at Houston
Chicago at N.Y. Jets
Cincinnati at New Orleans
Indianapolis at Dallas
Minnesota at Miami
New England at Green Bay
Oakland at Kansas City
Shittsburgh at Cleveland
St. Louis at Carolina
Tennessee at Philadelphia
Washington at Tampa Bay
Detroit at Arizona
Seattle at San Francisco
San Diego at Denver

Atlanta at Baltimore might be interesting. (Can Ray Lewis chase down Michael Vick?) However, will both teams be worth watching by Week 11? Indianapolis at Dallas looks like it has potential. Minnesota at Miami: Daunte’s return! Washington at Tampa Bay would be a return to a Wild Card game from last year. San Diego at Denver would make for a nice inter-division game. If Minnesota becomes a surprise team, I could see them airing Minnesota at Miami in prime-time, but I’m going with the safe pick: Indianapolis at Dallas.

Week 12:

Arizona at Minnesota
Carolina at Washington
Chicago at New England
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Houston at N.Y. Jets
Jacksonville at Buffalo
New Orleans at Atlanta
N.Y. Giants at Tennessee
Philadelphia at Indianapolis
Shittsburgh at Baltimore
San Francisco at St. Louis
Oakland at San Diego

Carolina at Washington and Chicago at New England are both in the running this week. So are Philadelphia at Indianapolis and Shittsburgh at Baltimore. This week also shows why the NFL went with this “flex” scheduling. I’m certain that all eight teams mentioned above will not be in playoff contention. So instead of taking a chance of New England having an off-year with all the players they lost this past off-season, or praying Carolina doesn’t get hit with the injury (or steroid) bug, it makes more sense to wait 12 days before this week’s games to determine which game would appeal most to a nationwide audience. Because I’m making my selection three months in advance rather than a dozen days, I’m going with Carolina at Washington because both teams were in the playoffs last year, and each franchise won at least one game during their time in the postseason.

Week 13:

Arizona at St. Louis
Atlanta at Washington
Dallas at N.Y. Giants
Detroit at New England
Indianapolis at Tennessee
Jacksonville at Miami
Kansas City at Cleveland
Minnesota at Chicago
N.Y. Jets at Green Bay
San Diego at Buffalo
San Francisco at New Orleans
Tampa Bay at Shittsburgh
Houston at Oakland
Seattle at Denver

Atlanta at Washington? Nah. Dallas at New York looks like a contender. Jacksonville at Miami – the battle of Florida. Minnesota at Chicago might be a big one if both teams manage to win outside the NFC North. Tampa Bay at Shittsburgh and Seattle at Denver features both Super Bowl teams squaring off against a playoff opponent from last year, albeit from the other conference. I think Jacksonville at Miami might be a sleeper pick, but once again I’m going with the safer Seattle at Denver.


Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 10, 2006 at 10:41 pm

Posted in Sports

Going Back Into The Arkkkives For An Opinion

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Two entries ago I commented on the pro-censorship Democrats who don’t want some hippie ABC 9/11 Docudrama to be aired and thought back to how a few years ago the roles were reversed with that stupid “Reagans” mini-series. Now I’m taking a trip down memory lane again thanks to an upcoming political ad that’s going to be used in a Virginia Senatorial race.

Democratic Senate candidate Jim Webb has a television ad ready to air featuring praise from his late boss Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan called on him Friday to cancel it.

Webb, who was Reagan’s Navy secretary before Webb switched to the Democratic Party, uses the ultimate GOP icon to send a sentimental message to conservatives and moderates courted by his Republican opponent, Sen. George Allen. The ad is scheduled to begin airing next week. An excerpt from the linked article:

But a three-paragraph letter from the former first lady’s office said the use of footage of Reagan, who died in 2004, is “neither authorized nor appropriate.”

The 30-second ad opens with video of Reagan praising Webb during a commencement address at the U.S. Naval Academy in 1985, when Reagan was president and Webb, a Navy grad, was an assistant secretary of defense.

“James’ gallantry as a Marine in Vietnam won him the Navy Cross and other decorations,” Reagan says on the video.

Upon hearing this story, I’m reminded of how it was just a few years ago when a pro-tax cut group used John F. Kennedy in some ads back in March of 2001. What did I say about it back then? Let’s take a trip to the arkkkives back on March 14, 2001:

Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy has fought Republican tax-cut proposals for years, but now the battle has become personal.

In midst of the current debate over President George W. Bush’s $1 trillion plus tax cut, a GOP consulting firm has created a radio commercial featuring a sound bite by John F. Kennedy that makes it sound like the former president would endorse Bush’s current initiative if he were alive today.

Speaking nearly 40 years ago, President Kennedy’s speech in question touted the benefits of his administration’s across-the-board tax cut plan, insisting that money, once it’s given back to the taxpayer, will spur economic growth. An excerpt of Kennedy’s speech that the ad airs says the following, “the final and best means of strengthening demand among consumers and business is to reduce the burden on private income and the deterrence to private initiative which are imposed by our present tax system.”

Naturally, Democrats, and especially the Kennedy family, have reacted to this ad with disgust.

In a letter to the GOP consultants, who are directors of the Issues Management Center, Sen. Kennedy and Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, daughter of former President Kennedy, said the ad is “intellectually dishonest and politically irresponsible” and “a dramatic misreading of history.”

Another point the letter emphasizes is that only 6 percent of Kennedy’s tax cut went to those earning more than $300,000 in today’s dollars while the Bush tax cut provides this income bracket with seven times more that number. So far, the GOP consultants have held firm, and the ads will continue to be produced and aimed for media markets in states with vulnerable Democratic senators.

Is this GOP strategy intellectually dishonest? Yes. Is it shrewd and politically brilliant? You bet.

I agree with Sen. Kennedy on the point that using somebody’s words from 40 years ago to seemingly endorse a modern-day proposal may be intellectually dishonest, and in this case it sure is. Times are different in 2001 than they were back in 1962. For example, the top tax bracket during Kennedy’s presidency was more than 90 percent — yes, that’s ninety with an “n.” Today, the top bracket is just under 40 percent.

Another big difference between the two plans is that a larger part of Kennedy’s tax cut went to lower income workers than would Bush’s. This is due to the fact that during the Kennedy administration there was no Earned Income Tax Credit, which gives virtually all low-income earners a free pass on federal taxes, unlike today.

The consultants who are using President Kennedy’s endorsement for a tax cut 40 years ago remind me of those that argue Martin Luther King Jr. would oppose modern-day policies of affirmative action if he were alive today. You can’t make such statements because there’s no way to prove that JFK would be out lobbying for Bush’s tax cut, or that MLK would be out getting signatures to put an anti-quota referendum on an upcoming state’s voting ballot.

Although I disapprove of manipulating a dead public figure’s ideals, I have to give the GOP credit with this latest tactic. It’s a shrewd, and seemingly effective, maneuver, and it may give Bush that extra oomph of public support that could get his tax cut enacted.

The Kennedy ad may enrage some politicians and voters in liberal areas like Boston and New York City, but these commercials will be aired in places that could provide enough pressure from its citizens to influence a senator’s vote.

For example, this ad has been aired in Louisiana, a state won by Bush in the 2000 election, to put pressure on Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu, who’s opposed to Bush’s tax cut. Other states where the Kennedy ad is slated to appear include Georgia, home to moderate Dem Senator Max Cleland, and South Dakota, where Democratic Senator Tim Johnson’s constituents live.

Coincidentally, each of these senators is up for re-election in the near future, and should any of them vote against Bush’s tax cut, then perhaps they would get booted out of office and replaced by a more tax-cut friendly politician.

While having his dead brother’s words used against the Democratic Party may understandably outrage Sen. Kennedy, there has to be a feeling of fear dwelling deep inside the senior senator from Massachusetts. After all, while such political ads may be ineffective toward a number of politically conscientious citizens, these hardball tactics have been proven winners in the past.

A good recent example involves an NAACP-sponsored television ad that all but accused Bush of being responsible for the death of James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death in Texas by three white men in a pickup truck. The ad said that because Bush while governor vetoed a Texas hate crimes law, Byrd daughter, who narrated this grizzly ad, felt her father’s death all over again.

While this may seem like a disgraceful piece of propaganda to some, it was certainly effective — Election 2000’s black vote was roughly 90-10 in Gore’s favor, and that gap increased to a 95-5 margin in Texas. Can one ad be responsible for nearly an entire race siding with a particular presidential candidate? There’s no hard evidence to prove the Byrd ad directly influence anybody, but seeing how Bush won 25 percent of the black vote in his 1996 re-election bid, it has to be assumed this commercial struck a chord with at least some voting African-Americans.

Politics is a continuous battle of power where almost anything is fair game. From Willie Horton to daisy girls, images and sound bites have been a powerful medium when it comes to elections or full-scale legislative battles. Sen. Kennedy may not like having his brother on the other side of this particular issue, but he better get used to it because JFK is going to be out there for a while seemingly endorsing Bush’s tax cut.

Both dead presidents? Check.

Both being used for political gain by the other side? Check.

Run the Reagan ads and let the pundit-hysteria commence.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 9, 2006 at 10:37 pm

Posted in News

The Bucky Stops Here

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So that shithead who has been on the run for months, shooting several police officers and killing one, has finally been caught. Good. Fuck him. And fuck his family members who (allegedly) aided in his avoiding the law. One question, though: why are the media including the “Bucky” into his name Ralph “Bucky” Phillips? I think “Ralph Phillips” or “Bucky Phillips” would do just fine. Is there another criminal named Ralph Phillips out there pissed off because “Bucky” is giving him a bad name? I could see having the “Bucky” in there when he first escaped because people from the areas where he used to live might know him by this nickname, but now he’s caught. I think it’s safe to say we can drop the “Bucky.” And if someone needs the “Bucky” to realize who this douche is…

“Say did you hear they caught that cop-killer?”


“That guy who escaped from a Buffalo-area prison a few months ago and promised to ‘splatter pig meat all over Chautauqua County.'”


“The guy who shot several state police officers, killing one.”


“Ralph Phillips.”


“Ralph “Bucky” Phillips.”

Oh, that Bucky. ‘Bout time they captured him.”

… then that person should have to apply for a license in order to breed.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 9, 2006 at 10:35 pm

Posted in News

Marriage Is The Pitts For Brad

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Well Brad Pitt won’t marry Angelina Jolie until everybody can marry, regardless of sexual preference. Uh, OK. I guess I probably could go down the conventional right-wing route and whine about how the Hollywoodliberalelite should just shut up and make movies and not spout their commie beliefs to red-state America. Maybe I should also lament back to when Pitt made that “Seven Years in Tibet” movie, and Time magazine asked for his opinion about the China-Taiwan situation to which he replied, “What do I know? I’m an actor.” Nah, I’m not going to do any of this. Instead I have to give my brother from another mother a pound, thug-style yo. If only I had thought up this idea a few years ago. “Sorry dear, we can’t get married until Tom and Steve are allowed to do the same.” Brilliant. I guess I could say that if Pitt and Jolie became Canadian citizens then they could get hitched, but I’m not going to player-hate on Pitt’s strategy.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 8, 2006 at 10:32 pm

Posted in Entertainment

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 9/8/06

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Today’s caller has a son who lives far away and is about to get married (I think he’s in his 20s). The caller’s husband, who is the stepfather of her son, said that he doesn’t want to attend the wedding, nor does he want the caller to go to this blessed event. When the caller asked her hubby why he felt this way, the guy said because they already went on vacation last month and that this trip would cost too much money. Also, he’s afraid of flying. He added that if she goes to this wedding she might as well stay there because she’s “choosing her kids over him.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 8, 2006 at 8:24 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

Look For The Union-On-Union Protest

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• Former TWA workers are picketing their own union. Rock on.

Former TWA flight attendants picketed their own union Friday, protesting what they say is the labor group’s unwillingness to help them get back their jobs, which were lost after the 2001 terror attacks.

Beginning next month, the first of about 2,900 former TWA flight attendants will lose their chance to be rehired at American Airlines. American Airlines’ parent company, AMR Corp. of Forth Worth, bought Trans World Airlines when it was in bankruptcy months before 9/11 and absorbed TWA’s staff.

The rehiring rights of the former TWA attendants expire five years after they were laid off, and it’s been nearly that long since the first post-Sept. 11 layoffs.

The ex-TWA workers want to stay in the rehiring line, hoping that better conditions in the airline business could result in their rehiring. Getting their old jobs back could mean qualifying again for health insurance and a pension.

About 30 former TWA flight attendants protested outside the headquarters of the Association of Professional Flight Attendants, or APFA, which represents about 13,000 workers at American Airlines. The demonstrators carried placards reading, “A real union protects all of its members.”

When it’s union versus union, which side vandalizes the automobiles?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 8, 2006 at 8:19 pm

Posted in News

Bleedin’ Irish Before Bleedin’ Blue And White

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Tomorrow is going to be weird for me. With every sport there are a few teams that you either like or hate with no gray area in-between. In Major League Baseball, the most prominent example of this is the New York Yankees. One example of this happening in the NFL is with the Dallas Cowboys. When it comes to college football, I consider Notre Dame to be one of these teams; count me in the group that doesn’t like the Fighting Irish. I don’t know why I dislike Notre Dame, I just never did. The only reason I can think of off the top of my head is that when they played the University of Colorado in some bowl game years ago, I liked Colorado because the team ran out onto the field with their buffalo mascot. I also got sick of media hype given to “The Rocket” Ishmael. Stupid reasons to be sure, but they’re reasons nevertheless. All this changes tomorrow when Notre Dame plays host to the Penn State Nittany Lions. Having lived a year-and-a-half in Sappy Valley, I can say that if Mohammad-Abdul ever decides to put a jihad on that stupid lion statue that just about every PSU student poses at during his or her time at this shithole in the center of Pennsylvania, I’ll chip in for the dynamite. Go Irish.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 7, 2006 at 8:22 pm

Posted in Sports

Get A Job Or Else

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So some states will need to put welfare recipients in a job or risk losing federal money.

The welfare rolls aren’t dropping as fast as they used to, and that could pose a big money problem for states from coast to coast when a new federal law takes effect next month.

The states’ task: find jobs for tens of thousands of people on welfare or risk losing millions in federal money. More than two dozen states have work to do, including Pennsylvania, California and Michigan.

The law requires states to place into job training, community service or other work activities 50 percent of their households that get welfare aid—and 90 percent of two-parent households that receive assistance.

“About half the states are in pretty good shape,” said Wade Horn, assistant secretary at the Department of Health and Human Services. “About a quarter of the states are really going to have to work hard.”

Pennsylvania will have to add nearly 23,000 recipients to the work rolls, which amounts to a 220 percent increase in work participation, according to federal estimates obtained by The Associated Press.

California has to find work activities for more than 60,000 people_ a 100 percent increase in its work participation rate.

Michigan must add nearly 11,500, a 117 percent increase.

Several other large states, including Texas, Florida and Georgia, will meet the requirements easily, according to the federal estimates.

The requirements are part of broad rules that more strictly define what constitutes work and require states to verify that adults are doing the activities the states say they are.

I think the biggest problem will be getting these people to stay at a place of employment for longer than 20 minutes — either that or managing a flex schedule that doesn’t interfere with these people’s television viewing habits. Judge Joe Brown > Becoming more self-reliant. Wait, did I say states had to find welfare recipients “employment”? I meant “job training, community service or other work activities.” Wow, that welfare reform. How heartless.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 7, 2006 at 8:21 pm

Posted in News

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 9/7/06

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This chick had been in a relationship with this guy for 20+ months. The guy couldn’t find steady work in California and thus moved back to him hometown in Colorado where he got a job with his cousin. The caller said she is trying to “make this work” but just gets laughed at by the boyfriend. I’m not sure if she actually asked a question, but I did hear her cry on one occasion during this call.

Runner up: This guy lived with this chick for three years, and she popped out a kid. They split up and he has said that ever since then she has gone downhill. And I quote: “She lost her job, she lost her car, she lost her Section 8 Housing…” I didn’t hear what he said next because I was laughing too loud to hear.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 7, 2006 at 8:15 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

A DUI In Paris

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Paris Hilton got busted for driving under the influence (allegedly, of course). Outside of her driving while drunk, I don’t see the big deal. Considering her body weight, I’m sure it doesn’t take much to get her tipsy. Hell, it’s not like she’s all that rational when she’s sober to begin with. I think you’re a shithead if you drive while drunk, but if you don’t injure anybody other than yourself then I won’t wish death upon you.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 7, 2006 at 8:13 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Censor ABC’s 9/11 For The Gipper

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It appears some big bad Democrats are getting their panties in a knot over this ABC “9/11” movie, or whatever the hell it’s going to be called. “Waaaah. It’s not fair. There’s stuff in this special that wasn’t true.” I’m surprised that former National Security Advisor Sandy Burglar didn’t just swipe the video of this production, stuff it down his pants and walk out of the editing room. Actually, I don’t really care about this “9/11” movie, and I’m not going to watch it. I wonder if the same people bitching about this special also had the same passion about that hippie “The Reagans” movie made a few years ago? I thought that abortion would have made for a great sitcom. You could have started this program in the same way as the “Dick Van Dyke” show where Mr. Van Dyke walks into his living room, only to trip over a stool. When Ronnie does the same, he can be shown accidentally pushing on The Button, triggering a nuclear explosion. I can hear the music now.

Daaaaa da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da da


I’d watch that. For about 10 seconds. But that’s better than my usual attention span when it comes to network television.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 7, 2006 at 8:10 pm

Posted in Entertainment

The Dr. Laura Call Of The Day: 9/6/06

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This woman’s 18-year old daughter has had a continuous drug problem and wants to know if it would be a good idea if she should unknowingly sign up her daughter to take part in some nationally televised intervention program. What was the reason for the caller to take such drastic steps? Because three previous interventions with this kid have already failed.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 6, 2006 at 8:08 pm

Posted in Dr. Laura COTD

A Good Head On The Infidel’s Shoulders

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Oh man Allah’s going to be pissed:

So how has life changed in Afghanistan after the fall of the Taliban? For one thing, beauty salons are springing up. That’s the unexpected news in The Beauty Academy of Kabul, a 2004 documentary that will be screened at 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday at the Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St.

Director Liz Mermin follows a group of American women, including some Afghans who left their troubled homeland years before. Their intention is to open a first-class beauty salon, train Afghan hairdressers and provide a means of expression for women oppressed by the previous restrictive regime.

Look at that head — it’s not even a real one chopped off from an unholy Westerner’s neck.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 6, 2006 at 8:06 pm

Posted in News

It’s A Man’s Wardrobe, Katie

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Yesterday featured the premiere of Katie Couric on the cBS Evening News. Don’t care. I don’t follow broadcast news, so why should I treat Katie any differently? I will defend her in one area though: I don’t remember NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charles Gibson or cBS’s Bob Schieffer being criticized for how they looked or what they wore.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 6, 2006 at 8:04 pm

Posted in News

The Cost Of Higher Education

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This past weekend I was channel surfing and came across this special on a certain cable news network that makes all of us LOL in 2006. This hour-long program dealt with the cost of higher education and how much of a rip-off it is. During this broadcast we got to follow these middle-class parents who earned $125k/year and couldn’t afford to put their two daughters through college. Now this might have gotten a smidgen of sympathy from me had I heard that these kids also had jobs (they might have; I didn’t watch the entire special, but all signs pointed to “no” on this one), and when the father, who worked several jobs to try and pay for his daughters’ education, mentioned the prospect of his girls going to community college, he was greeted with laughter by his brats. While watching this family was aggravating enough, this special also highlighted the woes of some chick that burned through more than $100,000 in a quest for a Special Education Degree. When she got out of college she owed more than $80,000, and when asked how she was coping with this debt she talked about how all her friends buy retail-priced clothing while she has to look through a store’s BARGAIN RACK. She then began to cry.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 6, 2006 at 8:03 pm

Posted in News

Racist Dusty The Cellar Dweller

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Sure the Pirates suck, but there’s a silver lining around this dark cloud that has been above Shittsburgh for the past dozen-plus years. The Pirates are no longer in last place in the N.L. Central. And just who is currently occupying this division’s cellar? Why, it’s Racist Dusty and pals. If there’s one team or person out there that I want to see fail more than the Pirates, it’s Racist Dusty followed closely by Barry Bonds. Let’s go Bucs!

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 6, 2006 at 8:01 pm

Posted in Sports

Predicting One’s Fate

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Wow. Be careful what you wish for; it just might come true.

“If I’m going to die,” the late “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin said in a 2002 interview, “at least I want it filmed.”

Um, if I’m going to die, at least I want to win the $100 million Powerball 50 years prior.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 8:00 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Diff’rent Strokes For Channel Surfers

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So last night in-between commercials for the Florida State University/Miami football game I was channel surfing, like any good male does, and what did I stumble across? Some movie about the behind-the-scenes action of the sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes.” Who in the world thought this was a good idea to do, and who in the world gave this person the green light to produce this piece of crap?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 7:59 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Howard The Non-Asterisk Home-Run King?

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That Ryan Howard guy from the Phillies has been on a tear, and it’s possible that he could hit 60-plus home runs this season. One topic du jour around the sports-talk circuit has been that if Howard hits 62 round-trippers this sesaon should he be considered the “true” home-run king instead of those roided-up ballplayers currently at the top of the single-season homer list. I say hell no. For as much as I loathe Barry Bonds, until someone else surpasses his single-season total, let his single-season home-run record stand. And let this be a reminder of how MLB and the fans didn’t give a shit about whether or not the game was being played clean in the late 1990s and early 2000s. While I’m on this subject, boo-fucking-hoo to the players now whining about how the suspicion of illegal performance-enhancing drug use is now over every over-achieving athlete’s head. You people made your bed, now go lie in it.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 7:57 pm

Posted in Sports

The Enemy Of My Enemy Is … Still My Enemy

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I’m sure this Ahmadinejad guy from Iran probably doesn’t care too much for my infidel lifestyle, what with me eating pork and letting the better half out of the house every now and then. I’m also quite certain he’d want to chop my head off if given a rusty saw and a video camera to tape the incident for broadcast on Al Jazeera. However, upon reading this headline, I’m sure there’s at least a little common ground we can share: Ahmadinejad Seeks Purge of Liberal Profs.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 7:56 pm

Posted in News

Fat Chance Of People Changing Their Minds When Seeing Calorie Content

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No offense health nazis, but when someone orders a double quarter pounder with cheese and large fries, I don’t think they care about their value meal’s calorie content.

Look, I get that people are getting fatter and fatter, but it’s up to each individual to make the proper choices in regards to their health and nutrition. It’s true fatty foods are out there now more than ever before, but there are also more healthier choices, too.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 7:54 pm

Posted in News

Gangster Gifts

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Oh, yeah. This will turn out well.

Haiti’s government and U.N. peacekeepers will launch a major campaign seeking to persuade hundreds of gangsters to disarm with promises of money, food and job training, but top gang leaders will not be eligible, the U.N. envoy said Monday.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 5, 2006 at 7:53 pm

Posted in News

30 Days? I Can’t Stand This Show After 30 Minutes

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So I just saw one of Morgan Spurlock’s hippie “30 Days” episodes tonight. I wish Morgan would spend 30 days provoking stingrays in their natural habitat. OMG spending 30 days in jail sucks. No fucking shit, genius. That’s why you don’t BREAK THE LAW. I love it when some guilt-ridden do-gooder tries to tug at your heartstrings by producing something like this “30 Days” show and you end up spending 90 percent of the program either laughing out loud or saying, “And what exactly am I supposed to be feeling bad about, douche bag?”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 4, 2006 at 11:40 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Pluto Protest

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What the hell is wrong with people?

Size doesn’t matter. That was the message as friends and colleagues of the late Clyde Tombaugh, the astronomer who discovered Pluto, gathered on the New Mexico State University campus to protest the International Astronomical Union’s recent decision to strip Pluto of its status as a planet.

About 50 students and staff members turned out Friday for the good- natured challenge. Some were wearing T-shirts and carrying signs that read “Protest for Pluto” and “Size Doesn’t Matter.”

Tombaugh’s widow, Patricia, and their son, Al Tombaugh, also participated.

And here is a picture of this raucous crowd.

Oh well, at least these people can probably point out Pluto on a chart of our solar system. That’s better than those pseudo-hippies who protest child labor conditions in some Asian or South American shoe factory but can’t find the country they’re bitching about on a map.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 4, 2006 at 7:46 pm

Posted in News

Caine’s Revenge

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I’m not a Caine-hater or anything like that, but should someone who played a prominent role in “Jaws: The Revenge” be in any kind of position to comment on the awfulness of Hollywood?

Yesterday (Caine) spoke of having felt “quite depressed” on Saturday night after casting his eye over the Top Ten box-office hits in the US.

He said: “I was struck by how stunningly banal and formulaic it all was.”

The hits reflected Hollywood at its trashiest, with an emphasis on special effects, action and violence, he said. Singling out Beerfest, a comedy about excessive drinking, and The Worm-Eaters, a horror drama about boys who eat worms, he added: “Some of the pictures are so gross.

The film industry has a responsibility to give audiences something better, he emphasised, lamenting how the pursuit of money is stifling creativity and imagination.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 4, 2006 at 7:44 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Agassi Over And Out

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I don’t care about tennis, but God I loved how every ESPN pundit I paid attention to was predicting Agassi to beat this Becker hippie and go on to face Andy Roddick or other some guy I have never heard of before and will never hear of again.

Crouched alone in the silence of the locker room, a pro tennis player no more, a red-eyed Andre Agassi twisted his torso in an attempt to conquer the seemingly mundane task of pulling a white shirt over his head.

Never more than at that moment did Agassi seem so vulnerable, looking far older than his 36 years, wrestling not simply with his bad back but also with two overwhelming and conflicting emotions.

There was the concrete sense of departure, of knowing his career came to an end Sunday with a 7-5, 6-7 (4), 6-4, 7-5 loss to 112th-ranked Benjamin Becker in the third round at the U.S. Open. And there was the liberating sense of excitement, of knowing he has more time to devote to his wife, Steffi Graf, and their two children; of knowing there are no more flights to catch, no more practice sessions, no more injections to dull the searing pain of an irritated sciatic nerve.

Andre, you had a great career. You made a buttload of cash. You seem to actually care about the human race. This makes you a better person than me. Now go and fuck Steffi Graf a whole bunch of times. Just don’t force your kids to play the sport you and your wife succeeded in for all those years.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 4, 2006 at 7:42 pm

Posted in Sports

Crocodile Hunter Already Missed

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Steve Irwin has just died thanks to a stingray putting a barb through his chest. I always liked the Crocodile Hunter program, even though half the time the show was about a dozen guys lying down on a reptile as if it were a drunk hot chick at Mardi Gras. Too bad this attack didn’t happen to Jeff Corwin; last night I was watching some retarded “HUGE MONSTERS” show with him pretending dinosaurs or some other large extinct animals were chasing him. Christ was this show awful. I kept watching this piece of shit just for the sheer awfulness of it all.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 4, 2006 at 7:39 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Splitting Inside Household Duties

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On Friday I talked about how the better half and I split the maintenance duties for our lawn, among other outdoor activities. I was going to talk about indoor cleaning responsibilities yesterday, but that damn Shittsburgh mayor just had to die from cancer Friday night, and I felt like talking about him instead. I swear one of these days I need to put my priorities in order.

I do most of the cooking and post-meal cleaning, but that’s because if I left washing dishes up to the better half she would use the dishwasher. I have a problem with dishwashers; I don’t know why (although this should provide some insight into my reasoning). I guess one reason is because dishwashers cross my laziness tolerance line. Nevertheless, most of the kitchen duties are mine, unless Mrs. kkk wants to bake cupcakes or something for a church event or some other get-together. I should note that my culinary skills don’t require much more than nuking veggies, cooking some meat in a skillet or putting something in the oven, so it’s not like I’m slaving away for several hours at some elaborate dish.

In regards to house cleaning, we have a weird system. Every few months the house will get cleaned, and most of the time it’s mostly done by just one of us. On Friday she cleaned most of the house while I was at work. However, the previous cleaning, which took place in early July, I spent an afternoon and evening running the vacuum cleaner and spraying chemicals all over the house. The last time we had a joint effort in cleaning up the house was this year’s Memorial Day weekend. Laundry duties are mostly separate because I don’t like running my clothes through the dryer at medium/high heat while Mrs. kkk does. However, if I’m washing my clothes and the better half’s hamper is full, then I’ll do a separate load or two with her stuff. I must say though that I completely stay away from washing the bedding; that’s all her.

So there you have it. Our “ying-yang” system has worked for seven-plus years now ever since we began living in sin. Funny enough, even though Jesus freaks and moralists decry couples cohabitating, I really don’t have a problem with it. If the couple is serious about their relationship, then I think they should see what living together and splitting household duties is like. Getting married is hectic enough, what with all the ceremony and reception planning (not to mention trying to pay this expensive date off afterward, but that’s another story for another time). Fighting over whose turn is it to take out the trash won’t help matters much to a newlywed couple when the honeymoon ends and real life begins (for the record, I’m the trash hauler). I also apply this “tryout” rule when it comes to child rearing. Before popping out a few demon seeds, how about adopting a dog or kitty (or two) from your local animal adoption agency and seeing what it’s like to be responsible for a life form that’s not as high-maintenance as a newborn baby?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 3, 2006 at 7:37 pm

Posted in Life

Remembering Mayor Bob O’Connor

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Late last night I learned that Pittsburgh Mayor Bob O’Connor had passed away after a brief bout with a rare form of cancer that attacks the brain and spinal cord. He was 61 years old. I knew he was going to succumb to this sudden diagnosis, especially when the hospital he was at stopped providing updates to the media a few days ago. When it was announced Friday night that the mayor had died, it left a pit in my stomach that’s still there this morning. I don’t know the man, nor have I ever met him, but I’ve followed his public service career for years and always thought of him as a person of integrity. I may not have agreed with him on a number of issues, but many times in local politics you throw away party affiliation and support the better man (or woman, depending on the situation).

I think the saddest part of this story is that for years this guy had tried to be mayor, only losing in the Democrat primary each time to the incumbent Tom Murphy. In fact, during the 2001 mayoral election there were allegations that Murphy had some illegal backroom deal with the city’s firefighter’s union where he would give them a sweetheart contract if they would support his candidacy over O’Connor. Murphy ended up winning that election by just 699 votes. (Like I said before, it was a primary, but in this town the “general election” takes place in the Democrat primary.)

Whenever Murphy announced he would not seek another term in 2005, it was all but a formality that O’Connor would become the city’s next mayor. There were “elections” and “campaigns,” but everyone with half a brain knew Bob would end up winning. Even when he was on the campaign trail, it seemed that O’Connor was talking more about what he was going to do once elected rather than asking if he could have your vote so he could be elected. When O’Connor finally took the helm in January of 2006 he tried as much as he could to show he wasn’t going to squander the opportunity to head the city he loved. There were two early examples of his leadership in action. The first was successfully planning a post-Super Bowl downtown parade for the Steelers. Even though more than a 250,000 people came downtown to congratulate the Super Bowl champs, O’Connor and his administration made sure the event ran without a hitch, and from the reviews people gave afterwards, it appeared that O’Connor and his staff was for real. The second incident came in wake of a sniper scare. (I commented on this incident back in January.) At first there was concern of a person atop a building with a rifle looking for people to shoot, but in the end it turned out that it was just a maintenance worker hunting pigeons. However, the way the city police/fire/medical services handled this event during those hours when they didn’t know what they were up against showed to many in the area that this town was being managed differently than it had been in previous years. And O’Connor was out in the middle of the action overseeing this operation. One could say he was just being pomp, seeing that his first term was just under way, but if you heard him you could tell he wasn’t trying to be out in the limelight. He wanted to show the city, and the surrounding counties, that the buck was stopping with him. And it showed.

It’s a shame O’Connor didn’t win the Democrat primary back in ’01. If he had, Pittsburgh might be in better financial shape today. Sadly, we here in the southwestern Pennsylvania area will never get to know what O’Connor would have been fully capable of as mayor. RIP.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 2, 2006 at 7:37 pm

Posted in News

Splitting Outside Household Duties

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Yesterday I talked about the better half mowing the lawn, a task that is normally associated with the male of a household. This got me the thinking about other around-the-house duties the better half and I perform and who does what in this union of wedded bliss. Fifty-plus years ago the husband in a marriage was supposed to go out and bring home the bacon while the wife would cook, clean and take care of the kids. Fast-forward to 2006; this sort of role-playing is extinct for many households. What does the job arrangement look like at the kkk manor? Let’s take a gander.

When Mrs. kkk and I bought our little slice of the American dream, we came to an agreement that I would mow the lawn while she trimmed the edges of our property with the weed whacker. This way one person wouldn’t spend an entire afternoon doing yardwork. The funny thing is for as much as I suck at weed whacking, I think she is even worse. Before she broke the first weed whacker by putting the wrong kind of fuel into its tank, she managed to strike me with that wire shit that actually does the cutting. (I could also mention the time she got pissed off and kicked the weed whacker across the back yard because it wouldn’t start. Wait a second, I just did.) Because she probably weed whacks once for every six or seven times I mow the lawn, she’ll surprise me every now and then if she has a day off and feels motivated to romp around outside for a few hours.

There’s something else we agreed upon regarding outside work, and that involved planting flowers and other hippie shit. Basically the rule is I want no part of doing this. I don’t care what she does in regards to planting trees or removing shrubs. All I ask is that she not set fire to the property, hit a gas line, or do something that will require us to file a home owner’s insurance claim. When there’s a sizeable job that needs to be done, she’ll call on me to do the heavy lifting. Well, maybe not heavy. More like medium lifting. Take for example one of her summer’s big projects: removing two dozen cement blocks and several dozen bricks the previous owners had half-buried throughout the front and back yard. What is Mrs. kkk planning to do upon removal of these heavy slabs? I have no idea. All I know is that these blocks were a real bitch to transport. On the bright side at least we didn’t have to worry about hauling them beyond out driveway due to the fact her one boss took them for some project he was working on in his yard; one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

Other fun duties we share include raking the leaves that fall from our one backyard tree every autumn season. We also take turns shoveling snow in the wintertime. Why do we take turns with the snow? Because each of us can’t stand the way the other person shovels. I prefer to start in the middle of the drive way and shovel “width-wise” in both directions, stacking snow on each of the driveway’s edges. Mrs. kkk prefers to just shovel in one direction and scoop all the snow off to one side. There are other duties that for one reason or another each of us exclusively performs. If there is a hornet’s nest that needs gassed, she takes pleasure in destroying it; however, should there be a dead bird that flew into our back porch’s screen, I am the one who buries the carcass.

Well, that about covers all the work we do in regards the house’s exterior. Tomorrow we’ll see what each of us does indoors.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

September 1, 2006 at 7:34 pm

Posted in Life