KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for May 2009

Saying Goodnight To Leno’s Tonight Show

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Wow. I forgot that Jay Leno was stepping down as “Tonight Show” host at the end of this month. Then again, he’s leaving that show to do a similar program at 10 p.m. on the same network, so it’s not like he’s disappearing off the face of the earth. I still don’t get why NBC is doing this, but what do I know? I always liked Leno over Letterman anyway. Here’s wishing Jay the best. Still won’t watch his show.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Manny Up And Let The Voters Decide

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So yesterday I made my opinion about Manny Ramierez and the possibility of him starting in this year’s All-Star Game. Well I was flipping channels and came across some pinhead on ESPN’s “Baseball Tonight” giving Man-Ram some PR advice. I didn’t catch all of the segment, but basically this guy was saying that Manny should encourage the fans out there to vote for “deserving” players. Players that are actually helping their teams to victory.

What a crock of shit.

Look, I make no bones about my opinion on letting fans vote for all-star teams. However, I WANT Man-Ram nation to vote early and vote often. Expose this travesty that is MLB’s All-Star Game for all that it is. Hell, I may vote a few times online. After this letter was read, there was some talk about how if Manny would start in the All-Star Game that it would just keep the steroid questions coming from the media. Yeah, like there won’t be any other roided-up All-Stars.

Remember, if ESPN doesn’t like something, it’s a battle worth fighting from the other side.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Posted in Sports

Viva Las Vegas

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So today I was reading the Sunday newspaper, and I came across this article. Basically, it’s about a county in Pennsylvania flyover country. Just some more blahblah about the HUSSEIN RECESSION. And while the bit about a local public official encouraging residents to plant (crisis?) gardens gave me a flashback…

Fulton County commissioners recently advised residents to plant gardens to help get through the tough times.

…what really got my attention was this part at the end.

John Piper, the former receiving clerk at General Fasteners, has a plan. He may withdraw all the money he had saved in his 401(k) — $1,100 — “put myself on a bus” and head to Las Vegas to look for work.

“It scares me,” Piper said. “But I’ve got to make it one way or another.”

Las Vegas? The Las Vegas that is experiencing one of the worst economic downturns in the ENTIRE COUNTRY? That Las Vegas?

picardfacepalm

Just checking.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Posted in News

Down Payment ASSistance

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What a great idea. Enable people who might not be able to afford a house the opportunity to do so. Nothing can ever go wrong when this sort of thing happens.

With this funding provided under the “Stimulus” Bill, I guess now real-estate agents are now classified as “shovel-ready” occupations.

In a policy change that could benefit thousands of people, the federal government announced Friday that its tax credit for first-time homebuyers can now be used to help pay closing costs on mortgages insured by the Federal Housing Administration.

The economic stimulus bill passed in February allows first-time homebuyers a tax credit equal to 10 percent of the home’s purchase price or $8,000, whichever is less, when they file their federal income taxes. But under the plan announced Friday, buyers using FHA-insured loans will be allowed to treat the tax credit as additional down payment funds, or use it to pay for the closing costs that are typically incurred when a mortgage is funded.

“Families will now be able to apply their anticipated tax credit toward their home purchase right away,” said Shaun Donovan, secretary of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, which oversees FHA.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2009 at 12:02 am

Posted in News

Dream Over? Probably Not

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So that Susan Boyle chick didn’t win some big talent show thing over in England.

She gave a final curtsey, a shimmy of her hips, and walked off stage, leaving the winners to perform an encore. But it’s unlikely that finishing second on “Britain’s Got Talent” Saturday night to a dance troupe called “Diversity” will be the end of Susan Boyle’s showbiz dream.

The 48-year-old church volunteer became an Internet phenomenon after she auditioned for the television talent show, her show-stopping voice combining with her frumpy appearance to make her a must-see on YouTube.

Life goes on.

Actually, what really prompted my response to this story was the stupid-ass headline to this article:

Dream over: Boyle finishes 2nd in reality show

Yeah, because now that she finished second, NOBODY is going to try and sign her for other projects. Good gravy. The first paragraph in this story even says this lady’s “showbiz dream” will continue.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm

Posted in Entertainment

He Shoots, He Scores (In Game 1)

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So I have Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals on in another room. I’m not actually watching the game, but it’s near the end of the first period. The Wings scored first, but Pittsburgh just scored seconds ago to tie the game at 1-1.

Now I don’t know who is going to win this game, or the series. However, this year it didn’t take the Penguins TWO GAMES and change to score their first goal. You take any victory, no matter how small.

I’m not a Shittsburgh homer, so if the Pens lose to a better team that’s fine with me. However, it will be interesting to see if this Stanley Cup Final will be a “passing of the torch” in some ways. But I’m getting way too ahead of myself. There are at least 220 more minutes of hockey to play before making these lame assertions.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 30, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Posted in Sports

Idol: Red v. Blue

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Wow, I guess this season’s “American Idol” really was a Red State v. Blue State.

First I heard this about this season’s runner-up.

After Lambert’s performance with Queen on the “Idol” finale last week, guitarist Brian May told Rolling Stone magazine that he’d like to explore the possibility of a prolonged collaboration between Queen, which came to fame with famously flamboyant singer Freddie Mercury, and the famously flamboyant Lambert.

And now the winner, who I heard is from Arkansas, is going to be on Hickabee’s show.

“American Idol” winner Kris Allen is already thinking about getting into politics.

The 23-year-old acoustic crooner from Conway, Arkansas, duets with Mike Huckabee (HUCK’-a-bee’) during an appearance on the former Arkansas governor’s Fox News Channel show scheduled to air Saturday.

Huckabee, who ran unsuccessfully for the Republican presidential nomination last year, backs up Allen on bass for The Beatles’ “Yesterday.”

During the appearance, Allen asks: “Maybe someday I could be the Governor of Arkansas, right?”

Huckabee replies: “It’s a great gig. It really is.”

I don’t follow “American Idol” at all, but I seem to remember a few years ago there was some County/Rock’nRoll matchup for a previous finals competition. Meh.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 30, 2009 at 11:53 am

Posted in Entertainment

A Goode First Episode? (How Many Times Will I Milk This Play On Words?)

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So I saw that “Goode Family” show last night. I liked it. Which means it will probably get canceled within a month.

I looked through Google News for reviews of the first episode, and there’s one that got my attention. OK, so I looked at two reviews, and this was one of them. Here’s the sub-head, or whatever it’s called:

Mike Judge’s latest tries to hard and in the end doesn’t work

OMGLIBERALMEDIABIAS~!

Actually, that might be a fair assessment. Granted I’m not a frequent viewer of scripted television shows (insert political “townhall” joke here), but the few that I’ve seen from start to finish, it always seems that the first episode does go a bit over the top. (My first thought was “The Shield.”) Television is a tough nut to crack, so I would imagine the first episode has to reach out there and grab the audience by the collar and make them want to sit and watch. I did get that vibe from the “Goode Family” episode last night. I also laughed out loud quite a bit, even though most of the “anti-liberal” jokes have been made by me at time or another. I guess the splendor of seeing broadcast on network television made me giggle more than the actual jokes themselves. (For the record, there were a few “conservative” jabs thrown in, and I laughed at those as well.)

Keep in mind the last time I watched (by choice) a prime-time network program Andy Sipowicz was on his first day as squad commander of the 15th Precinct, so I’m not exactly a television connoisseur. However, I will keep watching this show so long as it’s on the air. Although I get the feeling Fox should be airing this program rather than ABC.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 28, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Man-Ramming Through To The All-Star Game

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So a topic on ESPN for the last day or so deals with Manny Ramirez and the fact that despite getting busted with illegal substances (or wanted to be the next Mr. Mom) and serving a 50-game suspension he could possibly start in the July All-Star Game. The topic then becomes should Man Ram be allowed to play if voted in by the fans.

I say sure.

Giving fans the vote for All-Star starting lineups is a joke, and this only further validates my assertion. This also bolsters my faith in the Electoral College. Besides, nothing says “This All-Star Game Counts Because The Winning League Gets Home Field Advantage” like starting someone who has only played a handful of games.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 28, 2009 at 7:36 pm

Posted in Sports

Losing At The Lottery

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I hope you’re sitting down for this one. My office pool didn’t win the latest Powerball drawing. Yeah, I’m shocked, too.

As I spoke with the coordinator of this recent office pool, I began thinking to myself: Why is it that office pools start up when a lottery jackpot reaches $100+ million? Now if an office does a weekly batch of lottery tickets, that’s one thing. However, to suddenly go, “OK, I think $90 million is an acceptable amount to start throwing our money away,” doesn’t make sense. You’re GOING TO LOSE whether the jackpot is $1 million or $100 million. Then again, someone always has to win this crock.

You know, part of me wants to win the lottery just so I can go up on that stage during the press conference and say, “And for all these years I thought the lottery was a waste of money, especially for the disproportionate amount of people who squander their limited capital on a near-impossible chance of winning.” Either that or answer the question of lump sum/annuity with, “Lump sum because I don’t know what President Hussein has in store for me after this tax year.”

Of course then the NY Times will mysteriously discover all the gay porn I download, to which I’ll accuse the Gray Lady of being homophobic. And good times will be had by all.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 28, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Posted in Life

Powerball Printouts

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So today at work someone from another organization in the building asked if I wanted to go in their office pool for the Powerball drawing. Guess it’s up at $100+ million or something. Of course I said, “sure.” Even though playing the lottery is like flushing your money down the toilet, I put in my $5 in these stupid things. After all, if I don’t these people will probably win, and I don’t want that.

Having worked at a Quickie Mart during college, I’ve seen my fair share of Lottery People — those people that complain they can’t get ahead and that the Man is holding them down, yet always manage to play 20+ numbers every day in various State-sponsored lotteries. And one tradition to the beloved office pool is making sure everyone who takes part gets a copy of all the numbers drawn from that particular pool.

What’s the point?

Look, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE POWERBALL. Don’t bother giving me this sheet because I’m just going to throw away this piece of paper. Did I say “throw away”? I meant “recycle.” Got to lessen my carbon footprint and all. Anyway, if nobody comes into work tomorrow and I hear on the radio/Internet that the winning Powerball number was drawn in my redneck of the woods, I’ll somehow manage to connect the dots.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 27, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Posted in Life

Making His Mark In Radio

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One of the many reasons I find Mark Madden entertaining. Today’s poll question on his radio station’s website:

Who is your favorite Kennedy?
* Jamie Kennedy
* Mr. Kennedy
* Ted Kennedy
* The Dead Kennedys
* Tyler Kennedy
* Vincent Kennedy McMahon

If you don’t get the joke, here’s Wiki.

His dismissal from ESPN 1250 came on the heels of an inflammatory comment Madden had made regarding Senator Ted Kennedy’s then-recent cancer diagnosis when he said “I’m very disappointed to hear that Sen. Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts is near death because of a brain tumor. I always hoped Sen. Kennedy would live long enough to be assassinated. I wonder if he will receive a get well card from the Kopechne family?

It’s only a matter of time before Mark gets another full-time sports talk show, either on WXDX or a Clear Channel talk station somewhere in town. And when he does I wouldn’t be surprised if he crushes the godawful 1250 ESPN radio.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 27, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Posted in Sports

Bite Worse Than His Bark

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Hey, don’t write checks with your mouth that your tricep can’t cash.

An instructor at the Connecticut Police Academy has been charged with disorderly conduct after he allegedly responded literally to a co-worker’s “bite me” remark. Francis Woodruff, a former Waterbury police captain, was arraigned Tuesday and released on a promise to appear in court.

He was accused of biting the arm of 42-year-old Rochelle Wyler, a license and applications analyst at the academy, on April 24.

According to the arrest report, she was left with teeth marks and bruising on her left triceps.

Wyler filed a complaint April 28, alleging the 51-year-old Woodruff was agitating her by calling her a clerk. She said she responded with “bite me”—and he did.

Woodruff, who also is a training co-ordinator with the Meriden Police, told authorities he was joking around.

I know it’s not quite the same thing, but for some reason this came to my mind after reading the above article.

fuck_on_first_date

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 27, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Posted in News

About KK’s Korner

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This is going to be the section where I talk about how everything I say is taken out of context. I will then go on and blame the liberal media.

DEVELOPING…

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 26, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Posted in About KK's Korner

Turn That Smiley Into Hard Time

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love my county. This is news.

State police are seeking a man and woman accused of stealing dessert items and cash early Friday from at New Stanton restaurant.

The pair were in the Eat’n Park at 111 Byers Ave. between 1:30 a.m. and 1:45 a.m. when the male stole a box of Smiley cookies, an Oreo creme pie and two $1 bills from the front counter, said Greensburg state police Trooper Matthew Hartman.

The two then fled the business and made off in an older model Chevrolet station wagon on Center Avenue in the borough, Hartman said…

…Anyone with information is asked to telephone state police at 724-832-3288.

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May 26, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Posted in News

Judging Goode Comedy

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For the first time since I getting Digital Cable years ago, I will actually be DVR’ing a network program besides the Maury show: “The Goode Family.” Here’s a brief snippet of what it’s about:

It’s become something of an article of faith in the conservative world that the media are liberal and only interested in promoting liberal ideas and causes. So what do you do if you’re a loyal conservative when a big titan of liberalism like ABC (owned by the gay-friendly Disney media conglomerate and home to the obviously left-leaning George Stephanopoulos) is about to premiere (this Wednesday at 9 p.m.) a wickedly funny new Mike Judge-created show, “The Goode Family,” that mocks a family of do-gooders, including a wife who wears a “Meat Is Murder” T-shirt, a daughter who’s named Bliss and a dog who is a vegan?

Here’s a video from the same link above.

One reason I love “South Park” is that EVERYONE gets mocked. And I consider Mike Judge to be an equal-opportunity mocker, much like Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I was never a faithful viewer of Mike Judge’s “King of the Hill,” but there was one scene that had me laughing for several minutes afterward. The episode dealt with the teenage chick wanting to dye Hank Hill’s hair. Hank refused. When the gal said that Ronald Reagan used to get his hair dyed, Hank replied, “He did that to protect us from the Communists.” Now that’s funny, at least in my world.

That being said, I did not care for Judge’s “Idiocracy.” I get what he was trying to do, and I can appreciate his effort. I just didn’t think it was all that funny. Then again, it took me years after “Beavis and Butthead” went off the air to fully appreciate that show.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 26, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Four Years In Thirty Minutes

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So the better half was telling me today about her one friend who has had a four-year relationship with some guy. Apparently, they lived in sin for a little while — probably no more than six months to a year. (I don’t keep track of this stuff.) However, something happened that caused Mrs. kkk’s friend to say “enough,” and she packed her stuff and left. The boyfriend made the remark, “We’ve been together four years and it took you 30 minutes to pack up and leave.”

The hell does that mean? For four years, I’d say it was smart of her to only have enough crap at the guy’s house to get out in less than an hour.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 26, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Posted in Life

Peace Out, Peter

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This is a bummer. I didn’t even know he was sick.

Peter Zezel, a center who played 15 NHL seasons after breaking into the league with the Philadelphia Flyers as a teenager, has died. He was 44.

I remember watching him during his time with the Flyers and Blues. I can’t tell you much about his game; just another scrappy hockey player that I hope invested wisely. I always liked his last name. Peace out.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 26, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Posted in Sports

A Straight-Up Ruling

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So let I get this straight.

California voters legally outlawed same-sex marriage when they approved Proposition 8 in November, but the constitutional amendment did not dissolve the unions of 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who wed before the measure took effect, the state Supreme Court ruled today.

The courts upheld this same-sex marriage ban, but allowed same-sex couples who were already married to stay married. This could turn out to be a pretty kick-ass promotion if played right.

If a mayor/city councilmanperson wants to attract some attention, all that person has to do is announce they are accepting same-sex marriages. Suddenly a flock of tourists will come down to that neck of the woods and get their vow on. It can be like the new blue-light special. “Attention homosexuals, we are now accepting wedding certificate applications in Fresno/Reno/Cheyenne/Wherever.”

Well it seemed like a good idea when I started typing this.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 26, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Posted in News

The N-Word

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So today the Drudge Report had the following posted.

nbomb

Did somebody say something not-so-nice about President Hussein over in North Korea?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 25, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Posted in News

Giving Osama Credit

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So I’ve been hearing about this for a while now.

New rules about credit cards, signed into law Friday and cheered by consumer watchdogs, won’t be good for everybody. The rules’ unintended consequences are already starting to appear, as banks lower the lines of credit extended to many cardholders.

Mostly, the new laws will protect riskier borrowers – the ones who spend over their limit or carry big balances from month to month. Normally, those borrowers are a treasure trove for the banks, who can charge them interest rates of 30 percent or more.

But the new laws will make those customers less lucrative for the banks, and that means the banks will probably try to recoup their losses by putting the squeeze on the not-so-risky borrowers. In addition to decreased lines of credit, analysts predict banks will start charging more annual fees or slimming down rewards programs, which hurts even the most responsible cardholders.

To President Hussein and the other fuckwads in Congress. If there is even one nickel charged to me by my credit card company that even hints at the word “fee,” guess what I’m going to do? Cancel my plastic and go to either debit or cash. So the responsible people that don’t get in over their heads will now suffer because a bunch of gutter trash were giving credit that they abused? And instead of going after these deadbeats, now it will be people like me expected to “spread my wealth.” Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 24, 2009 at 11:10 pm

Posted in News

kkk Gets Fucked Up

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So yesterday day the better half and I were driving home from work. Her one friend with the relationship problems … oh who am I kidding? ALL her friends have relationship problems. In fact, it’s so bad WE’RE the “normal” couple. But I digress…

Mrs. kkk’s one friend with the relationship problems texted her. The Mrs. then said to me, “Hey, ‘Sarah’ wants to know why men like to have sex with the woman above them?”

Because “Sarah” has had problems in the sack with her Mr. Right, I thought about this question for about 20 seconds then replied with something like, “Because it’s easier for the guy to control himself from finishing and the woman has a better ability to orgasm because she knows her body better than the guy.”

The better half’s response?
Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 23, 2009 at 11:22 pm

Posted in Life

Gay Aiken

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No I don’t care about American Idol all that much. I like Simon Cowell because he’s an asshole, but other than that I don’t pay attention to this show. I might watch the first episode or two of a season to laugh at the freaks, but otherwise this is a show the better half watches.

Now I did pay somewhat attention to this season. One evening Mrs. kkk was watching an episode and I was washing the dishes. Suddenly I heard one of the contestants sing Aerosmith’s “Crying,” and my ears started to bleed. I walked into the living room with a “WTF did I just hear?” look on my face. Mrs. kkk, an Aerosmith fan, had the same look on her face. Well, the judges LOVED it. The hell?

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 23, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Voter Regrets

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One of the things I like doing when I go to vote is cause trouble. Sadly, I bit my tongue this past election when I really shouldn’t have.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 20, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Posted in Life

Voter Regrets

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One of the things I like doing when I go to vote is cause trouble. Sadly, I bit my tongue this past election when I really shouldn’t have.

When the better half and I go to vote in the primaries, the idiot poll workers for whatever reason make some snide remarks about us being Republicans. One year the fat old guy shouted out, “We got two Republicans here!” Another time was a similar experience. Well this year when we came in to vote, Mrs. kkk and I signed on the dotted line, and one of the poll workers make the following comment. “That’s the fifth Republican in a row to vote.”

The thought that entered my head that almost came out my mouth: “Well that’s because we all are just getting off work.”
Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 20, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Posted in Life

Primary Candidate Of Choice

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So today was election day in my redneck of the woods. Nothing major, just a bunch of local candidates. But you know what — even though we all tend to look at our federal government, it’s our state and local elections that REALLY affect our pocketbooks. So I try to do a bit of research before casting my vote. Here’s are the highlights.

I had a list of judges to pick from. There was one feminazi bitch I knew I wasn’t voting for. The person whose political sign is in my commie neighbor’s lawn. The commie neighbors that have MoveOn.org bumper stickers on their cars. Fuck that shit. Oh, and this candidate showed up at my house earlier this year. I wasn’t impressed. Whenever an aspiring politician pays me a visit, I like to bust their balls. Such was the case this time. I asked her what her opinion of Kelo v. New London was. She got a deer in headlights and said, “I can’t comment on cases.” I’m such an asshole. Oh, and her slogan was “A Voice For Families.” Uhhh, you want to be a judge. How about being a voice FOR THE LAW? She may be the nicest person in the state, but add all this up and I’m saying, “Screw you, bitch.”

Here was the other highlight of this election. There were several candidates for a Jury Commissioner position. Read the following article and you can figure out who I voted for. The HONEST candidate. Bold text is the Reader’s Digest version.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 19, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Posted in Life

Controversial Quote

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So today was grocery shopping night. The better half and I were done shopping and headed to a self-scanner. Mrs. kkk thought she found a short line in Aisle 5. She was wrong. The woman wasn’t using the personal shopper scanner, which we use. Basically a personal shopper scanner rings up your order as you shop and checkout is a breeze. This woman was scanning all her items and bagging them.

Meh.

I don’t mind waiting in line at the grocery store as long as the tabloids are nearby. I’ll grab an issue and read it until it’s my turn. This aisle had the National Enquirer. I normally don’t read the Enquieres/Stars/Globes on a regular basis, but it’s better than the New York Times. At least the Enquirer had an article about John Edwards and his affair. That’s more than I can say about the Slimes.

Anyway, there was some SCANDAL about Miss California. I can’t remember what it was. Something about her mom being abused. But here’s what pissed me off. There was a comment about her “controversial” remarks about gay marriage. Controversial? These remarks are shared by well over half the country, and even then many of those people have much more harsh things to say about the issue. I wanted to curb-stomp Perez Hilton even more than I already want to after seeing that.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 19, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Uncle Ted Back On The Wagon

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Oh well, maybe next time.

Sen. Edward Kennedy’s brain cancer is in remission and he is expected back in the Senate after the Memorial Day recess to spearhead healthcare reform, according to Democratic colleagues.

This is one time I wish we have free universal government health care. Then again, once this disaster comes to fruition, I’m sure the assclowns in DC will be treated just like the rest of us.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Posted in News

An Abortion Of A Prez-O-Dent

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Talk about abortion.

President Hussein strode head-on Sunday into the stormy abortion debate and told graduates at America’s leading Roman Catholic university that both sides must stop demonizing one another.

Maybe they should just sit there and vote “present” like you did during your time in the house whenever this subject came up, you bitch-ass piece of shit.

Osama acknowledged that “no matter how much we want to fudge it … the fact is that at some level, the views of the two camps are irreconcilable.” But he still implored the University of Notre Dame’s graduating class and all in the U.S. to stop “reducing those with differing views to caricature. Open hearts. Open minds. Fair-minded words. It’s a way of life that always has been the Notre Dame tradition.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 18, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Posted in News

Preakness Smeakness

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I don’t give a shit about horse racing, so I don’t know why I bothered reading this story. Maybe to hear more abut the HUSSEIN RECESSION or something. I dunno.

The future of Maryland’s storied horse racing industry might be a matter of debate, but one thing was clear yesterday at the yearly race that has been the state’s biggest sports event for more than a century: The Freakness is gone.

The usually crammed infield at the Preakness Stakes, which earned that nickname because of drunken fighting and other forms of debauchery, was far from full as post time neared. Gone were the topless women, and the teens who raced and stumbled across the tops of portable toilets, pelted with beer cans as they went.

To restore civility to what had become little more than an all-day party, officials at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore banned spectators this year from bringing their own beverages, including beer, onto the infield. The move contributed to a 30 percent drop in attendance, and it drew plenty of complaints.

“I’m here, but I’m not happy,” said Chad Jones, 35, a mortgage broker from Baltimore. He was among a smattering of fans on an infield that ordinarily draws 60,000.

And this is supposed to be fun? Christ, no wonder I’m so lame. And the mainstreamliberalsportsmedia makes fun of NASCAR fans?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 17, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Posted in Sports

Torpedo Kids From Ordering

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So I need to bitch in some detail about an event that took place yesterday.

I was doing some errands and decided to stop by a nearby Subway for lunch. It was 1ish in the afternoon, so a line at the counter was not going to be a surprise. And when I went into the store I was surprised that there were only two people in front of me. Then I noticed one of these people was a kid, probably around 10 to 12 years old. And he was holding an index card.

Shit.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 17, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Posted in Life

Mapping Out Stress

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Oh for fuck’s sake. A STRESS INDEX?

…From Shakopee, Minn., listen to Bruce Paul, 56, a vintage car mechanic laid off in January and unemployed for the first time since Richard Nixon was president. Today he and his wife spend their days in the public library to reduce energy costs at home. “You go out and they say, you know, you need a resume. And I say, `A resume? What’s that?'” …

…The republic is brimming with Americans like these. And the Associated Press Economic Stress Map helps us find their voices and tell their stories.

For generations, maps have told tales that words and numbers alone cannot. Maps guided us to the New World, helped us navigate from its edges into its interior. Vague, undefined maps showed Lewis & Clark where to go next—and in turn gave us fresher, more accurate maps that fueled further explorations. Maps outlined the frontier for settlement and showed us where to find the silver, the gold and the coal that made us prosperous. Computer mapping helps businesses expand, prosper and find new customers.

The interactive Stress Map offers insight into the American recession, translating it into misery and geography using an equation, the Stress Index, that shows us—state by state, county by county—just how uncertain and battered around we actually are. It takes the numbers, the pronouncements, the big plans for recovery and illustrates what they mean on Main Street USA, or what passes for it in 21st-century American communities.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 17, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Posted in News

Forget Locking Them Up — Just Shoot The Bastards

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Yet another reason why you should just kill someone when he/she attempts to do harm to you and yours, even if it’s just a “child.”

Civil-rights advocates are cautiously optimistic that the days of sentencing juveniles to life in prison with no chance of parole could soon end.

Their hope lies with the U.S. Supreme Court, which said this month it would review two cases from Florida in which juvenile offenders claim their life sentences — one for rape, the other for robbery — are unconstitutional.

Legal experts cautioned the court could rule in a number of ways, and said some outcomes might not change Pennsylvania’s sentencing guidelines.

But they added that if the court rules life sentences for juveniles are inhumane, the effect on Pennsylvania — which has about 450 juvenile lifers, more than any other state — could be huge.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 13, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Posted in News

Matt And Trey Were Right, Again

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Holy crap. You really can find all of life’s answers by watching South Park.

GENEVA, May 2 (Reuters) – People with HIV are at high risk from the new flu strain that the World Health Organisation said is on the verge of a pandemic, the WHO said on Saturday.

The United Nations agency said people with immunodeficiency diseases — including the AIDS virus — will most likely be vulnerable to health complications from the H1N1 strain, as they are from regular seasonal flu, which kills between 250,000 and 500,000 people a year.

HIV and the new flu strain could also mix together in a dangerous way, as has occurred with HIV and tuberculosis, the WHO said in guidance for health workers on its website.

Butters was right to fear…
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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 3, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Kemp Sacked For The Loss

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Peace out, yo.

Jack Kemp, the former pro quarterback who turned fame on the gridiron into a career in national politics and a crusade for lower taxes, has died of cancer at age 73.

I didn’t follow politics when he was in Congress, so I’m sure he has a whole bunch of faults and he’s limo liberal and all that crap. Whatever. Much like the Palin/McCain relationship last year, I actually liked Kemp more than Dole in 1996.

But the real question is this: First Tony Snow, then Jack Kemp. Yet Crazy Arlen is around and Uncle Ted is still hanging on from taking that big car ride into a lake. The hell’s going on here?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Posted in News

Soundboard Hard Or Go Home

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From an AIM chat just minutes ago. I think I stumbled onto to something here…

OTHER PERSON (OP): haha. i’m listening to the wings-ducks game and they’re reviewing a wings goal
KKK: fuck
KKK: go ducks
(OP): the PA announcer plays “Let it Be” by the Beatles
KKK: ha
KKK: cute
(OP): yeah
KKK: i like listening to the background music
KKK: one i don’t get is that “day-o” at b-ball games
KKK: wtf is the point?
(OP): 50 years ago the crowd went WILD~!
KKK: but WHY?
(OP): no idea
KKK: like when someone gets ejected “Hit the road jack”
KKK: instant replay “Tell me something good”
KKK: those have a point
KKK: I got it:
KKK: The “Day-O” is the sports world equvilent of the Facebook “…is tired” update.
KKK: it all makes sense now
(OP): that’s just lazy soundboarding
(OP): BOARD HARD OR GO HOME
KKK: SOUNDBOARD HARD OR GO HOME
(OP): hahaha

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 3, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Posted in Sports

One For The Motor City

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One thing that has been annoying me as of late are when Sports commentators bring up the economic situation in Detroit as a reason the Detroit team should enjoy success. From an AIM chat because I’m too lazy to type it up again:

This chat picks up where the previous entry’s left off:

OP: wooo
OP: 1-1
KKK: kkk lieks this
KKK: i always cheer agains the wings
KKK: they’re like the yankees
KKK: either love em or hate em
OP: except they actually know how to run their franchise
KKK: and even though I don’t really hate them
KKK: I always like seeing them crash in the playoffs
OP: right
KKK: but we need to cheer them on
KKK: because DETROIT NEEDS THE BOOST THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
OP: bahahaha.
OP: i hope your city burnsssssssssss
KKK: uhhhh,
KKK: it is
KKK: actually, it’d be an improvement
KKK: I HATE when I hear that shit
KKK: LIONS NEED A GOOD DRAFT FOR THE CITY
KKK: n*gga plz
OP: yeah, matt stafford is going to bring people off welfare
KKK: LOL
OP: 2-1 ducks
KKK: YES
OP: this is going to be a 7-6 game
KKK: Hossa will improve healthcare
OP: hahaha
KKK: if he signs long-term
KKK: Hossa DETROIT NEEDS YOU
KKK: Gary Sheffield reneged on his pledge to cut taxes so he got booted
OP: OP likes this.
KKK: YOu like higher taxes
KKK: OMG GTFU

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 3, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Posted in Sports

Lending A Helping Hand, And Telling An Inhumane Story

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So today was great fun. The baby daddy of the crack-whore niece-in-law threatened the kkk household for theft. What did we steal? The crack-whore niece-in-law’s cats. And by “steal” what he actually means is “take in” when the crack-whore niece-in-law got kicked out of the baby daddy’s house. This story is too fucking long to hash up, and this entry isn’t really about the whole fiasco so I’m going to let it die here. When I was first told by the better half of this debauchery, I did what any red-blooded American does.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 2, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Posted in Life

Surviving Another Conspiracy Product

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So I’m all about the New World Order/One World Government conspiracies. Say the UN is trying to take over the US way of life? I’ll say you’re preaching to the choir. But Survival Seeds?

New Survival Seed Bank Lets You Plant A Full Acre Crisis Garden!

Now you can grow all the survival food you will ever need anywhere in the country with a kit that contains a special seed bank of hard to find, open pollinated… super seeds, grown by small, fiercely independent farmers.

I think I finally found something that tops those “Buy Gold” ads. Yeah, I’m going to invest in something that’s at it’s all-time high, or whatever G. Gordon Liddy says.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 1, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Posted in Entertainment