KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for July 2009

Grounded In Reality — When Usually Peaceful Animals Charge, You Respond With Force

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Now as some of you may know from my posts at the other place, I have a groundhog living under my backyard shed. Well, actually now there’s a family, but I digress. Fact of the matter is I’m a friend of these furry creatures. However, after hearing this story, I have to side with the cops.

Police in northern New Jersey needed pepper spray to thwart a groundhog on the attack. Boonton resident Alex Scott told police the rodent chased him when he entered his garage and tried to get his truck. Police Sgt. Mike Danyo and Officer Paul Ryan said the groundhog went on the attack when they arrived.

Police said Danyo tripped and fell. His partner sprayed pepper spray into the groundhog’s face, giving the officers time to snare it.

The animal was euthanized and its remains will be shipped to the state health department for rabies testing.

This story was at the Huffington Post, and some of the comments about the officers macing/killing the rodent are … interesting.

This is disgusting. What kind of pansy poofter police do you have in “Boontown, New Joisey”, that they are so scared of a freakin groundhog they have to pepper spray it and then kill it in case it exacts revenge on them?? More homicidal abuse of animals by the stupidest humans on the planet.

Doesn’t say a lot about the truck driver and the two cops.. it took three of them to bring down this cuddly, fluffy hamster of doom.

The poor groundhog! I used to have a groundhog in my back yard and he would sit on the back steps and I would hand him carrots and he would stand there wobbling and chewing the carrots as we regarded each other across a chasm of evolution.

Poor animal. They usually just catch these things and release them in another location.

Now while there were comments like the ones above, there were others that noted groundhogs normally don’t come charging out like gangbusters. I agree. The groundhog(s) on my property freak out when I knock on the back door window and run back under the shed. Hey, it’s funny. What can I say? And for the theory that the groundhog was “cornered” or “protecting his home,” the better half and I ALWAYS go near our groundhogs’ residence and they have NEVER done anything to us.

Oh, and this just in. The groundhog DID have rabies.

An unusually aggressive groundhog that attempted to attack a resident and two police officers before it was doused with pepper spray last week was confirmed to have rabies, officials said on Thursday.

Good thing the groundhog wasn’t a Harvard scholar. The cops might be facing a civil lawsuit or, worse yet, have to have an adult beverage with President Hussein.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 31, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Posted in News

Rinse, Repave, Repeat

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Earlier this week while driving in that fun construction zone right next to my house, the better half and I opined the reasoning for this stretch of road to be redone. It didn’t seem to be in all that bad of condition.

Now we may know the answer.

Tens of thousands of unsafe or decaying bridges carrying 100 million drivers a day must wait for repairs because states are spending stimulus money on spans that are already in good shape or on easier projects like repaving roads, an Associated Press analysis shows.

President Hussein urged Congress last winter to pass his $787 billion stimulus package so some of the economic recovery money could be used to rebuild what he called America’s “crumbling bridges.” Lawmakers said it was a historic chance to chip away at the $65 billion backlog of deficient structures, often neglected until a catastrophe like the Minneapolis bridge that collapsed two years ago this Saturday.

States, however, have other plans. Of the 2,476 bridges scheduled to receive stimulus money so far, nearly half have passed inspections with high marks, according to federal data. Those 1,123 sound bridges received such high inspection ratings that they normally would not qualify for federal bridge money, yet they will share in more than $1.2 billion in stimulus money.

You know, there is at least one little bridge that I know of which needs rebuilt and it’s not being touched. Yet several miles of Rt. 30 that were just fine are getting redone. Nice.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 31, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Posted in News

Crime And Pooh-nishment

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So there has been an update to the bitch…

dessa1

…and her banishment to a single room when nobody is in the house. The better half decided to give her another go at freedom, just as long as our bedroom door and the basement door were closed. No pissing on the bed. No pissing/shitting under the sink basin. Or behind the boiler. Or next to the washer and dryer…

I think you know where this is going.

Well for a few days everything seemed OK. Then we came home today and instantly we knew the bitch went to the bathroom somewhere other than a litter box. Thus began the fun game of “Let’s she where she pissed this time.” Our first guess was a carpeted area, so we began following our noses. Then, as I was in-between the kitchen and the dining room, I turned around and solved this groovy mystery.

SHE PISSED ON THE STOVE!

Yes. She peed on the stove. And you know what the worst thing of all this was? At almost the same time Mrs. kkk and I both said, “Well if she does pee somewhere outside a litter box, this isn’t such a bad place.”

That’s how bad this has gotten.

Oh, but it gets better.

The better half went over to the sink to get ready to clean this largely superficial carnage when she suddenly bowed her head in amazement/defeat. “What?” I asked. “See for yourself,” was her reply.

The bitch crapped IN THE SINK.

Couldn’t she have at least went Number One over there? At least that has a drain.

Now the plan is to take one litter box from upstairs and put it in the kitchen. Yeah, this will work. For about five minutes. You know, part of me actually wants the bitch to do something to the living room recliner or on one of our two new couches. I think that’s what it’s going to take to get Mrs. kkk to either ban her for life or try and get Bella adopted once again — this time to someone that doesn’t have the poor people stink.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Posted in Life

Risk Vs. Reward

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So this story reminded me of a tale from my youth.

A game of Monopoly has landed a Michigan man in jail. WDIV-TV reported a 54-year-old man was playing the board game Saturday night with a female friend when he tried to buy Park Place and Boardwalk from her.

When she refused, Fraser police Lt. Dan Kolke told WWJ-AM he hit her in the head, breaking her glasses.

The man was arrested and charged with misdemeanor assault and battery.

Back in the day my mom, dad, one half-brother and another person or two were in this intense game of Risk. If the legends are true, this game went deep into the night. When the smoke cleared my half-brother and dad were head-to-head. After a few hours or so my old man emerged victorious.

It was then that the following words were exchanged. Even though I was a kid at the time and didn’t witness the actual exchange, I’ve heard this story often enough to know what’s what.

Bro: You did WHAT?!
Dad: I went and grabbed some extra pieces from that one container.
Bro: You took more pieces?!
Dad: Yeah. So what?
Bro: That’s cheating! We played all night and you CHEATED?!
Dad: What’s the big deal?
Bro: We were up until THREE IN THE MORNING and YOU CHEATED!!!

Ah, family. Any wonder why I stay away?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 10:10 pm

Posted in Life

I’m Going To Sink Or Swim With This One

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So Uncle Ted finally got a medal. Lemme guess, it was for the 200m Breaststroke.

The longtime Massachusetts senator is one of 16 recipients of the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor.

Hey, he worked hard for that medal. He was swimming in pain. In fact, afterward he had to wear a neck brace. True grit.

OK, so I heard the Breaststroke joke elsewhere, but the neck brace line was all me.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Posted in News

Bucs Off A Sunken Ship

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You know, I really need to install some sort of laugh track when reading the bottom-of-the-screen scrawl during the MLB trade season.

After trading shortstop Jack Wilson to the Seattle Mariners today, the Pirates sent double-play partner and fellow All-Star infielder Freddy Sanchez to the San Francisco Giants tonight.

The Pirates received Double-A pitcher Tim Alderson, a first-round draft pick in 2007, from the Giants in exchange for Sanchez, who won the National League batting title in 2006.

Earlier in the day, the Pirates sent Wilson and enigmatic right-handed pitcher Ian Snell to Seattle.

Coming to the Pirates from Seattle are first baseman Jeff Clement, shortstop Ronny Cedeno and right-handed pitchers Aaron Pribanic, Brett Lorin and Nathan Adcock. Cedeno will join the major-league team, Clement will be assigned to Triple-A Indianapolis, and the three pitchers will report to Single-A teams.

Wilson has been the Pirates’ shortstop since 2001 and was the longest current tenured player with the team as well as one of its most popular players.

“It’s a sad day for me,” Wilson said. “Regardless of the record, I take a lot of pride in being a Pittsburgh Pirate. It was an honor to have played for the organization.”

Wilson can be a free agent at the end of the season, and he was asked whether he would consider returning to the Pirates.

“I would definitely consider it,” he said.

CONSIDER RETURNING? Jack, you’re free. Get the hell out of here!

Once again. I don’t care about these “prospects.” If any of them makes an impact in the majors, they’ll just get traded away. God why do people waste their money on this team?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2009 at 9:53 pm

Posted in Sports

Quick On The Drawl

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And to think I used to support you, Senator Voinobitch.

Republican Sen. George Voinovich, who is not running for re-election next year, told a newspaper in his home state of Ohio yesterday that Southerners bore a good share of the blame for his party’s lagging popularity.

“We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns,” Voinovich told the Columbus Dispatch Monday. “It’s the Southerners….

“They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr,'” he said, according to the paper. “People hear them and say, ‘These people, they’re Southerners. The party’s being taken over by Southerners. What they hell they got to do with Ohio?'”

You want to talk about embarrassment? Go onto the Senate floor and cry (again) about John Bolton heading off to the UN.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Posted in News

Just Another Day At The (Vet) Office

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So this morning I was getting up for work. Didn’t feel like going in but didn’t want to blow a vacation day. I trudged through my shower routine and was drying myself off when the better half said that JJ was acting odd. Well, odder than usual. He was walking around one of the litter boxes rather than actually using the feline bathroom device. Now the better half is a Catholic, so the whole guilt thing is alive and kicking with her. However, just minutes after JJ stopped milling around the litter box he was back at it again. OK, let’s see what happens next. He’s acting like he has to take a crap. Don’t ask — I know when each cat has to go Number 1 or Number 2.

Nothing happened.

OK, now my red flag went up. Here’s the plan. We’ll be in the midst of the morning commute when the vet place will be open. We’ll call and try to get an appointment ASAP. If we get an appointment in the next few hours I’ll drop the better half off at work and go back home. If not, I’ll go to work. We have a 10:45 a.m. appointment? Sweet. Home I come.

Why is this a big deal? Because our other male Max had a crystal blockage in his pee and it almost killed him. Whenever there’s straining at the litter box I take it seriously. Well the vet appointment came and went. Turns out JJ doesn’t have a problem peeing — he let loose in the vet’s office after they manually drew some urine from him. JJ’s revenge, I guess — but he’s not bright enough to do something like that intentionally.

So I spent about two hours at the vet and got home at 1 p.m. I then go online and give my Facebook a quick once-over. Guess what the better half posted on her page?

Well, I experienced my first theft in my life. My bookbag got stolen this morning while I was across the hall doing an interview. What did they acquire you ask… my house keys, $2.50 in bus fare, work keys, my work id, and an cheapo MP3 player. Hope it was worth it dude!

It’s another drive into Shittsburgh for me in a few hours. In rush-hour traffic. W00t~!

You know, going into work today doesn’t sound that bad after all.

Oh, and regarding JJ — he’s got a severe urinary tract infection. Instead of not being able to pee, he’s unable to poop. He’s in quarantine for the next day or so while he takes his meds and some soft food. He’s got until the end of the day Thursday to crap or else it’s back to the vet for him. I guess this is better than pee hole blockage.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Posted in Life

Constructing A Fun Time In The Car

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So I had a meh day at work. I didn’t have to pick up the better half from her job, which usually means I get home 20-30 minutes early. Not today.

About a half-mile or so from my house I got a wonderful surprise. Road construction decided to pop up — right in the midst of where I live. W00t~!

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This picture above is where my road turns off of Rt. 30. Turn right (truck is under the R.J. Staso sign) and I’m home free. Getting to that sign was the problem.

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This shot is some more hot commuter action from the other road that goes in and out of my neighborhood.

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After getting home I had to go back out into this mess. Might as well take more pics.

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Here’s an artsy reverse shot.

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More excitement. This shit went on for about another mile or two. During this time I saw less than a dozen construction “workers.” When I drove home later today I counted just under three miles of one-lane highways.

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OK, so I took this picture because I think it’s funny as hell. The building on the left a strip club/dance lounge/whatever. Sorry, I don’t go into these places. I spend enough money on one woman. I don’t need to start putting $1 bills down the panties of some other lady friend. And what is next to this place of sin and debauchery? All About Kidz Daycare.

Are there other places in this country with much worse traffic situations? You betcha. Do I care? Fuck no. This is all about ME~!

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 28, 2009 at 11:12 pm

Posted in Life

Tebow Pops Question’s Cherry

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I went to journalism school. Someone tell me who the hell asks a question like this?

Reporter: “Are you saving yourself for marriage?”

Tebow: (laughing) “Yes, I am.”

Another reporter: “Tim, being a senior, uh, what would you say …

Tebow: (still laughing) “I think y’all are stunned right now. Y’all can’t even ask a question. Look at this. The first time ever. Wow. I was ready for the question. I don’t think y’all were, though.”

Then again there’s a part of me wondering if the whole thing wasn’t a plant from the beginning. Oh who the hell cares.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 27, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Posted in Sports

Vick In Goodell’s Doghouse, At Least For A Few More Games

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So Michael Vick can return to the NFL … sorta.

Michael Vick has been conditionally reinstated by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Vick can participate without delay in preseason practices, workouts and meetings and can play in the final two preseason games—if he can find a team that will sign him.

Once the season begins, Vick may participate in all team activities other than games, but could play as soon as October.

For as much as a shitdick #7 may be, he did pay his debt to society. Now he has to pay his dues with Roger Goodell. Should he have gotten more games? Hey, Goodell’s much more of a badass than me. If he says this punishment fits, then it fits — I guess.

Let’s just say when the better half heard this news earlier today, she slightly disagreed with Goodell’s action — not to mention the entire legal system.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 27, 2009 at 10:15 pm

Posted in Sports

R U Wit Dis Theory, Yo?

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So I’m in the midst of burning a bunch of my old cassettes to CDs. Well, actually I’ve only done three to date with 100-plus to go, so “midst” might be wishful thinking. Anyway, I think I may have stumbled onto something when it comes the hip-hop world.

As most people who have listened to this genre might have noticed, there are a number of abbreviations/slang words on rap album covers/sleeves/inserts. For example, “With” is often replaced by “Wit.” “This” is often replaced by “Dis.” Then there’s “Ya” for “You.” I could go on, but you get the idea.

For years I just figured this was a way for rappers to look hard. After all, we don’t need no skkkool, yo, where the cracker establishment teaches … uh, lies, ‘n stuff. Well as I was burning a cassette to CD this morning I had another theory. Perhaps it’s not the rappers coming up with these wacky language revisions.

Perhaps it’s the album’s graphic artists.

For those people that create an album’s cover and track listing, I’m thinking they could be shortening words/phrases just so they can fit everything onto one line. There’s only so much magic the tracking and kerning tools can do before the text becomes too close together that it looks bad.

Take for example the inside track listings for Da Lench Mob’s “Guerillas In Tha Mist” cassette album.

lenchmob

A nice little compilation of “kill Whitey” tracks that invites you to take out the nearest Devil holding you down. Here’s a listing of the fine songs you can enjoy by purchasing this musical offering.

lenchmobtracks

While titles like “Capital Punishment In America” have to be two lines long, “Who Ya Gonna Shoot Wit That” was probably spared the same fate due to the tightening up of character spaces thanks to “Ya” not being “You” and “Wit” not being “With.”

“But kkk,” you might be thinking, “‘Inside Tha Head Of A Black Man’ is two lines deep and has a similar text alteration.”

But this just proves my point even more. “Tha” should have been “Da.” Case closed.

To think all this time it might not be rappers actually coming up with these new word variations. Perhaps lazy graphic artists are creating today’s urban vernacular. Believe me, I know these graphic artists are lazy, especially when it comes to spell-checking the stuff on the inside of these album covers. Good God.

“But kkk. The album cover has ‘Tha’ instead of ‘The’ and there’s no need for the ‘a’ to replace the ‘e’ because it doesn’t make a difference in spacing.”

I could say that the graphic artist is just trying to be consistent with making “the” as “tha” and “with” as “wit.” After all, it wouldn’t make sense to have some words look like Whitey wrote them and have others look hardcore. But if I went with this explanation it would mean that the graphic artist is actually putting in more work with gunning for consistency than spacing. So I’m going to do what any good conspiracy theorist will do in a case like this. I’m just going to ignore this point altogether.

Besides, only a White Devil would ask some bitch-ass question like that. And you know what happens to devils around here…

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 26, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Kitty Quarantine

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So the better half and I reached a compromise of sorts on the bitch…

dessa1

Backstory Post 1

Backstory Post 2

Backstory Post 3

…she is going to be quarantined up in the spare bedroom when nobody’s home or when we’re off to bed. When one of us is home she is going to be allowed out, but the doors to the main bedroom and basement will be closed — her typical “stomping grounds.” If she decides to relieve herself outside of a litterbox after this, then… well… I’m sure there are Asian meat markets willing to adopt.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 26, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Posted in Life

Oy Vey

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Whoops. In Florida of all places. I’m sure this will go over well with the old Jewish vote.

Despite the content of a letter bearing his signature, Gov. Charlie Crist does not want to share an anti-Semitic movie with all Floridians.

Crist’s office sent a letter thanking John Ubele for providing the governor with a copy of the film “Jud Suss.” The film is recognized as one of history’s most incendiary.

The brief thank-you note was dated June 30 and bore the governor’s automated signature. It praised the Pasco County resident’s thoughtfulness and generosity and said Crist would be delighted to share the DVD with the people of Florida.

“I was surprised considering the stigma that has been associated with the film,” Ubele said Friday in an exchange of e-mails with The Associated Press. “I was even more surprised when I looked at the signature because from what I can tell it looks real.”

The signature, however, was made by a machine and Crist never saw the letter.

Crist later called it “an inexcusable mistake by staff in my office,” in a letter released just before 9 p.m. that was addressed to Ubele’s work address in St. Petersburg.

“Neither I or anyone in this administration agree with or condone the anti-Semitic content of this DVD,” Crist wrote in a second letter that also carried his automated signature.

The 1940 film was produced by the Nazi propaganda arm and was a great success in Germany and abroad, although it was banned in Sweden in 1941 and has never been shown in that country.

Within the Third Reich, “Jud Suss” was the No. 1 film of the 1939-1940 season when it was seen by more than 20 million people. Anti-Jewish violence was reported after its projection in Marseille, France.

Ubele, who ran unsuccessfully for the state Legislature, is the operations manager of a group called the Nationalist Coalition that promotes “white activism.”

On its Web site, the organization says it is working to “do whatever is necessary to achieve white living space a to keep it White.”

Ran for a state Legislature seat — lol. What racial group does he think he’s part of? La Raza?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 25, 2009 at 1:14 am

Posted in News

Denny’s Doesn’t Discriminate When It Comes To Serving Crap

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Boy, I’m sure glad a group of health nazis, err, consumer activists have decided to sue Denny’s because its food is unhealthy. I wouldn’t have known otherwise that eating at DENNY’S can be BAD for you.

Denny’s restaurants are being sued by a New Jersey resident and a nonprofit consumer group claiming that many of the chain’s meals contain more than a day’s worth of sodium, the Los Angeles Times reported Friday.

Nick DeBenedetto, a 48-year-old resident of Tinton Falls, N.J., and the Center for Science in the Public Interest filed the suit Thursday in New Jersey Superior Court in Middlesex County. The lawsuit claims the meals “are dangerously high in sodium.”

DeBenedetto takes medicine to control blood pressure and is seeking class-action status for the suit.

A message to DeBenedetto. Drop dead. I’m serious. And if you eat at Denny’s it probably won’t be much longer before you assume world temperature. You have health concerns? DON’T EAT AT FUCKING DENNY’S!

Now while I think it is wise policy for major food chains to have nutritional information posted in the store, it’s the individual’s choice to eat at a place. There are places I don’t eat at because I don’t know the nutritional content of its food. These places are mostly local establishments and don’t have a website that has this information. Let me repeat. I don’t eat at these places. I DON’T GET SOME FAGGY-ASS “PUBLIC INTEREST” FASCISTS AND SUE.

And for the record, I can’t remember the last time I ate at Denny’s. Good God, just the mere thought of that place makes me sick.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 25, 2009 at 1:07 am

Posted in News

Hoping The Warcraft World Is A Gateway To Other Film Opportunities

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Here we go again with another video-game movie.

Blizzard Entertainment and Legendary Pictures announced yesterday that they had inked famed moviemaker Sam Raimi to direct the upcoming live-action Warcraft film.

I like Sam Rami, so if this earns him a hefty payday, then good for him. I don’t play World of Warcraft. There’s a reason for this. If I started playing, I would probably never stop. I know that already. However, there’s one thing that saddens me about all this.

Hearing this news only makes me wish for a Baldur’s Gate movie — the PC game, not the one found on the consoles.

I’m not much of a PC gamer. There are only two titles I play on the computer — Diablo/Diablo 2 and the Baldur’s Gate series. For those not familiar with Baldur’s Gate, here’s an overview.

The western shore of Faerun along the Sea of Swords contains a multitude of ecologies and terrain including mountains, forests, swamps, marshes, plains, cities, and ruins. Collectively called the Sword Coast, it attracts adventurers for good and evil alike, and provides the backdrop for this grand adventure. The region encompassed by this game is roughly bordered to the South by the Cloud Peaks, the East by the Wood of Sharp Teeth, the West by the Sea of Swords, and the North by Baldur’s Gate (the largest and most affluent city in the region). The characters travel the countryside, exploring the various areas such as towns, dungeons, mines, forests, castle ruins, and the city of Baldur’s Gate. The main story involves the characters investigating a conspiracy, confronting the clandestine plots of organizations like the Zhentarim, Red Wizards of Thay, The Iron Throne, Flaming Fist, The Chill, The Black Talons, and the Harpers, as well as finding out the main character’s own ancestry and history.

Long story short: It’s a great story with amazing characters. But while I liked playing the first game of the series, Baldur’s Gate 2 blows the first chapter away — especially in terms of character development. The dialog between a number of characters you choose to have in your group is oftentimes more entertaining than the actual game itself, which isn’t a diss aimed at the gameplay by any means.

Here’s a list of the characters from the Baldur’s Gate series. These recaps only scratch the surface of each NPC, especially in Baldur’s Gate 2. Hell, when playing the game all the way through for the first time, I nearly choked up upon reading Keldorn Firecam’s epilogue.

Keldorn Firecam thought his travels with marked the end of his active career, both as an adventurer and in service to the Order. He retired to Athkatla, hoping to live in as much peace as an old warrior can expect, but the call to serve came one last time. It was years later, and Amn was besieged by giants. In his 60th winter, Keldorn and five knights held a strategic pass until the main Amnish force could arrive. He won the day, but his wounds were severe and the old paladin fell on the battlefield. As his knights watched, the hand of Torm descended upon the scene, and when it departed, Keldorn was gone. From that day, visions of the True God were accompanied by the stalwart ghostly form of Keldorn at his right hand.

Now that’s a badass ending. It would also make an awesome movie scene, as long as the Torm CGI wasn’t over the top.

And then there’s Minsc and Boo. You have to play the game to understand the awesomeness of Minsc and his miniature giant space hamster. If you don’t feel like spending a shitload of hours playing the series, here are some Minsc/Boo soundbites.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 24, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Taped Delay

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So a few weeks ago I saw this LP/Cassette-to-CD Recorder on sale. With more than 100 old tapes that I haven’t played in years, I figured what the hell and got this stereo. I’m still trying to figure this damn thing out, but once I do my CD rotation is about to get a huge infusion of rap from the early 1990s. So far I know how to do the recording, but it’s going to take me some time to get my timing down for splitting up an album’s list of tracks. Right now I think I’m a bit late. Oh well, I’ll find out when this album is done recording.

For the record, the current album being recorded is Das Efx’s first LP. I caught a snuffleufagus and smoked a boogaloo spliff.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 24, 2009 at 7:19 pm

Posted in Life

Hitting The Birdside Of A House

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Well, the kkk household has its first bird casualty of the year. The better half found the carcass of a blue jay on our back porch. From the looks of things it crashed into the back door. You know, I would have a little empathy if it went head-first into the sliding window-thingy at the side of the back porch, but the back door is SURROUNDED by yellow brick. Good God, how can any bird not figure this out? (The sliding window-thingy is to the right of the back door below where that white rail/pole is standing.)

backporch

Kinda sad. What to survive the rigors of life only to have it end in the blink of an eye by hitting a frickin’ HOUSE.

This of course means I have to bury the thing in our pseudo-pet cemetery out by the shed. I wish I knew where I buried the previous bodies from years gone by. One day I know I’m going to uncover a rotting corpse. If the dead ever rise, I stand in great danger of getting pecked to death with all the dead birds buried out back.

Then again, they all would probably just fly into the house anyway.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 23, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Posted in Life

Bedpan Delivery

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So the bitch…

dessa1

…decided to piss on the bed again in disgust of our newest house guest.

The bitch is now confined to the upstairs bedroom. At least this time around we had some vinyl sheet thing on the mattress so the pee didn’t sink into the cushion. Sure our bed sounds like something at a nursing home, but at least it performed its duty with valor before being thrown in the trash.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 23, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Posted in Life

One Headline’s “Trouble” Is Another Person’s “Relief”

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So I saw this headline.

Osama health plan delayed _ trouble ahead?

Not if government health care is delayed.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Yeah, I know. The article’s definition of “trouble” probably means President Hussein and pals not being able to pass their shit sandwich. Hey, President Hussein rescued the economy…

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel told The New York Times Osama intends to use the news conference as a “six-month report card,” to talk about “how we rescued the economy from the worst recession” and the legislative agenda moving forward, including health care and energy legislation.

…I sure can’t wait until he saves me from health care.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 23, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Posted in News

Stupidly Is As Stupidly Does

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Hey President Hussein, before you go and do the whole RACISM~! thing, make sure the person you’re trying to throw under the bus wasn’t the guy who tried to save former NBA star Reggie Lewis. Dumbshit.

When Sergeant James M. Crowley climbed the front steps of Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s house last week and unexpectedly placed himself in international headlines, it was not the first time he had a memorable encounter in the line of duty with a prominent black man. Nearly 16 years ago, as a Brandeis University police officer, Crowley desperately tried to save the life of Reggie Lewis after the Boston Celtics star collapsed while practicing in the school gym…

You know, for someone who was hailed by Medium-Large Media as cool-headed, calm and collective, this punk-ass bitch sure couldn’t wait to claim the po-pos acted “stupidly” when the facts weren’t in. You even said you didn’t know all of the facts, but yet you still had to use the RACISM~! card. This only reinforces my desire to spit in your face should I ever had the unfortunate experience of actually meeting with you or Chewy’s Sister.

Yesterday, as President Hussein condemned the Cambridge Police Department during a prime-time White House news conference and Crowley steadfastly refused to issue the apology that Gates has sought, a fuller picture began to emerge of the 42-year-old sergeant who arrested the Harvard scholar last week on a charge of disorderly conduct on the porch of Gates’s Cambridge house…

Golly gee, a person breaking into a house. What are the cops supposed to do? And I’m sure the dipshit “scholar” wasn’t belligerent at all.

[Crowley] stands accused of RACISM~! by Gates, one of the foremost scholars on race in America. Gates had just arrived home to his Cambridge house from a trip abroad to find his front door stuck shut. As he and the driver who brought him from the airport tried to push it open, a passerby called police with a report of a possible break-in. Crowley arrived and demanded that Gates, now inside, show him identification. Crowley’s police report said Gates behaved belligerently when he questioned him, which Gates denied. Authorities dropped the charge Tuesday after it ignited accusations of RACISM~!.

Oh, yeah, and then there’s this.

The white police sergeant accused of racial profiling after he arrested renowned black scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. in his home was hand-picked by a black police commissioner to teach recruits about avoiding racial profiling.

Let’s compromise. From now on, whenever something happens to this piece-of-shit’s residence, let’s not have ANY public servants go to that address. After all, it might be RACISM~! to check in on flames shooting out from the windows. He might just be having a cookout.

And you know what? For as much as I like Bill Cosby the comedian, I’m liking him more and more whenever he talks about current events.

On a Boston radio program this morning, Bill Cosby suggested that President Hussein spoke too soon on the controversial arrest of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates.

“I’ve heard about five different reports [on the details of the arrest],” Cosby said on Boston’s WZLX. “If I’m the president of the United States, I don’t care how much pressure people want to put on it about race, I’m keeping my mouth shut.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 23, 2009 at 7:05 pm

Posted in News

Kicked Out Of The Kiosk

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You know, in this HUSSEIN RECESSION, shouldn’t we be trying to keep businesses afloat, especially those that don’t ask for a government bailout?

“Impeach Osama.”

“Al Qaeda’s favorite days: 9/11/01 and 11/04/08.”

“Work Harder. Osama needs the money.”

The bumper stickers and posters sold at “Free Market Warrior” at Concord Mills are meant to be “biting,” the kiosk’s owner Loren Spivack said.

At least one passerby found them racist and bigoted, and took time to tell the mall in a letter and a letter to the editor of the Charlotte Observer.

Whatever your opinion, the fact is this: At the end of July, Free Market Warrior will not be allowed at Concord Mills Mall. The kiosk chain’s owner shared e-mail correspondence with NewsChannel 36 that explains that the mall management has decided that the items sold are not “neutral” enough. The lease will be allowed to expire July 31, 2009 without an option to renew…

“Aren’t neutral enough” — The hell? Did anyone from mall management ever LOOK at this stand?

…”Nobody in that mall is selling anything from a conservative perspective. Plenty of people are selling things with a liberal perspective, with a pro-Osama perspective,” he said. “Given that we are in America and not North Korea…

Just you wait.

…we probably should have some stuff on the other side.”

Spivack says he is careful not to sell things that personally attack a politician and wants a fair exchange of ideas. “The material that I sell is about politics and ideas,” he told Newschannel 36. “It’s all legitimate criticism.”

Suuuure. I bet it is. In other news, KK’s Korner is all about high-minded debate and civil discourse.

And what a shock. The commie who is all butt-hurt about the Kiosk of Intolerance is a recent college graduate.

Spivack says the company first contacted him about his lease after a letter to the editor appeared in the Charlotte Observer. The author, recent UNC-Charlotte graduate Jennifer Ibanez, wrote”

“Free Market Warrior, a kiosk located adjacent to Bass Pro Shops, specializes in memorabilia embellished with pro-confederacy statements as well as those opposing both the government and President Hussein. In addition, these products support ideas such as racisms, sexism, and even slavery. While freedom of speech is a Constitutional right it’s difficult not to believe that something just isn’t quite right here.

The kiosk’s location is probably my favorite part of this whole article. I still laugh whenever I read that line.

“I find it appalling that Concord Mills, North Carolina’s #1 visitor attraction, would condone such a message to be portrayed by their vendors and can’t imagine how the outside visitors’ perceptions of North Carolinians have been skewed by such an establishment.

Whoa, what? North Carolina’s #1 attraction is a MALL?! Sorry. I’ll continue.

“It’s hard to stay open-minded when such uncivilized and outdated ideas are endorsed on a daily basis. It’s 2009; please, let’s at least try to put this type of bigotry to an end.”

And let’s see what this lover of the First Amendment went on to THREATEN.

Ibanez told NewsChannel 36 she was so offended, she wrote the mall as well. She says a friend of hers also wrote in. Both threatened not to return to Concord Mills.

Oh noes! But wait, let’s dig deeper into this story.

The owner of the mall group, Mel Simon, has been a generous contributor to Democratic causes and politicians, including President Hussein. Spivack thinks the decision about his lease is political.

Now the truth comes out. It always does.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 22, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Posted in News

Searching For Answers

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Dear KK’s Korner Reader:

I don’t care how you found or reached my little piece of cyberspace. And believe me I’ve seen some … interesting … search results from you people. I’ve been part of the WordPress family for about a month. And while the most popular search terms during this time have been:

“Osama”
“Osama half-breed muslin”
“Muslin”
“Osama muslin”

I never once batted an eye. Not even when one search result was simply titled “aaaaargh.”

But now I have to say something.

Here’s the list of today’s top searches:

“erin andrews in front of mirror”
“erin andrews was secretly videotaped”
“erin andrews videotaped”
“osama is a pirate.”

Come on now; “osama is a pirate.” Have we really sunk that low?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 22, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Posted in Life

Slot This Woman In For The “Grandma Of The Year” Award

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What is it with old people and gambling? Seriously. Then again, 54 years doesn’t look as ancient to me as it did back in the day…

A Florida woman has been sentenced to 14 months of house arrest for leaving two grandchildren alone in a parked car while she went to play the slots.

A Broward County judge also gave the 54-year-old woman three years’ probation Monday.

Authorities say the woman left the children in a car parked outside a Hallandale Beach casino in August 2008. The windows were down, but the air-conditioning was off.

Wait, so she also had the WINDOWS DOWN? Awesome.

The prosecutor tells the South Florida Sun Sentinel that the woman had pleaded guilty to charges including felony child abuse and misdemeanor contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Interesting. I think this is the first time I’ve read about the “delinquency of a minor” which didn’t involve alcohol and under-age sex.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 21, 2009 at 10:28 pm

Posted in News

Not Leaving This Election Empty-Handed

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Good. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t like it when politicians use music at their functions without permission from the musician.

Jackson Browne has settled a lawsuit and received an apology from Sen. John McCain and the Republican Party over use of his song “Running on Empty” during last year’s presidential campaign.

The settlement announced Tuesday includes a pledge by the GOP not to use any musicians’ work without proper permission in future campaigns, a statement that Browne said he hoped would benefit other artists.

Browne sued McCain and the Republican National Committee and the Ohio Republican Party last year over use of “Running on Empty” in a Web ad mocking Democrat President Hussein’s proposed energy policies…

For God’s sake, when will you people learn? If you have an “R” by your name, DON’T USE JOHN MELLENCAMP SONGS AT CAMPAIGN STOPS.

…McCain’s campaign ran afoul of several musicians during his presidential run, including the Foo Fighters, Heart and John Mellencamp. Osama wasn’t immune either—soul legend Sam Moore asked his campaign to stop using “Soul Man.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Roethlisberger Goes Deep Throat

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OK, I have a policy on these sort of stories.

A woman has filed a lawsuit accusing Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of raping her last summer in his penthouse hotel room at a casino in Lake Tahoe during a celebrity golf tournament.

Roethlisberger’s lawyer adamantly denied the allegations Tuesday, and was quick to point out that the woman, who was working at the hotel as an executive casino host, never went to the authorities.

If the lawsuit/legal action takes place shortly after the alleged incident I will give it a serious listen. Hell, I did this with the Duke Lacrosse team a few years ago. However, you wait A YEAR before doing anything? And the part in boldface cracked me up:

The suit also alleges hotel officials for Harrah’s Lake Tahoe went to great lengths to cover up the incident.

It seeks a minimum of $440,000 in damages from the quarterback, at least $50,000 in damages from the Harrah’s officials and an unspecified amount of punitive damages “sufficient to deter” Roethlisberger and the others “from engaging in such conduct in the future.”

The woman’s lawsuit says she didn’t file a criminal complaint because she feared Harrah’s would side with Roethlisberger and she would be fired. The suit doesn’t say whether the woman is still working for Harrah’s.

And what, pray tell, is a “sufficient” amount? This has so much bullshit on it I wouldn’t be surprised if the plaintiff is Tawana Brawley.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 21, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Posted in Sports

Erin Barin’ It All

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You know, considering some of the outfits she wears, seeing her in the buff really wasn’t all that big a deal. Err, not that I would know or anything like that.

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in the nude while she was alone in a hotel room, and the video was posted on the Internet, her attorney said.

The blurry, five-minute video shows Andrews standing in front of a hotel room mirror. It’s unknown when or where it was shot.

Andrews’ attorney, Marshall Grossman, confirmed Tuesday that the video posted on the Internet shows the 31-year-old reporter. He said she decided to confirm it “to put an end to rumor and speculation and to put the perpetrator and those who are complicit on notice that they act at their peril.”

Andrews plans to seek criminal charges and file civil lawsuits against the person who shot the video and anyone who publishes the material, Grossman said.

Actually, I don’t mind her as a sideline reporter-ette. Still indifferent about the whole thing, although it just reinforces the fact that there are some messed up people in this world. Then again, if I get any KK’s Korner stalkers shooting footage of me in the nude, you people deserve EXACTLY what you get if you decide to click that “download” button.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 21, 2009 at 9:55 pm

Posted in Sports

The Doctor Will Not See You Now

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So today I had to go to the doctor’s. My guy requires all clients to have an annual physical, and it was my turn for him to touch my nutsack. However, the fun didn’t start in the doctor’s office.

I was sitting in the waiting room with the better half. She was reading some pseudo-Twilight book. I had a Sports Illustrated issue from a month or so again. Of course my 4 p.m. appointment was running late by about 30 minutes. Then the front door opened and some guy said, “Excuse me Dr. Vinsay.”

He repeated the doctor’s name. OK, that was weird. There was a pause, and I heard the better half say, “Him? You have the wrong person.” The front the door then closed. I looked up.

Some guy thought I was Dr. Vinsay. Que?

I wonder what made him think this — My oversized blue mesh shorts. My oversized gray shirt. My five o’clock shadow. The fact I was SITTING IN A WAITING ROOM AND READING A MONTH-OLD MAGAZINE.

Come on, people. I’m not that old.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 21, 2009 at 9:36 pm

Posted in Life

Not The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

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Yes, I’m an oddball. We all are. Each of us has some quirky habits. That’s what makes us all wonderful. Most of mine are no more special than yours. However, I had to pause for a moment today to reflect on just how stupid my one is when it comes to making toast.

You see, in a loaf of bread there are those heel slices. We all know ‘em. Most of us hate ‘em. However, while I’m not particularly fond of these things, I don’t throw them away. There’s starting children in Africa/Asia/etc. that would kill for these mini-slices. Here’s what I do.

Usually I eat the front end of the heel with my first use of a bread loaf. When I open a new loaf, I take that heel and a regular slice and either make a sandwich or toast. But when I get toward the end of a loaf, I move the other loaf’s heel up in the batting order. When I’ve got about 6-8 slices left, I normally grab the heel and use a regular slice for something. Guess I don’t want to get to the end of my loaf and go, “Oh man, I don’t wanna eat the heel.” Get it over with early, I say.

Oh, yeah. I had toast today for breakfast. Oh, yeah. I had about eight slices of bread remaining with my current loaf.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 19, 2009 at 10:14 pm

Posted in Life

Don’t Stop And Wave

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So there I was today at a three-way intersection. Each side has a stop sign to deal with. Each side also has two other sides to the intersection to deal with. Such was my case today. As I sat there, I noticed a motorist perpendicular to me zooming along without a care in the world. Because I drive like an old lady, I decided to keep my car at a standstill because I had a hunch this guy wasn’t going to be stopping at his red octogon.

I was right.

However, the best part came when, as he was midway through the intersection, he turned in my direction and gave the “OMG What are you dong there?!” look of surprise, slammed on his brakes and gave me the “go ahead” wave. Dude, you’re in the MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION. If I were to accept your go-ahead, there would be no room for me to go. You’re already there. Just go. This reminds me of the joke, “I attempted to swim across a lake. I got halfway through, quit and swam back.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 19, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Posted in Life

Bella Of The Ball

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I’ve talked a little bit about Bella in the past, at this place and at other previous blog locations. Because I’ve been slacking getting older blog posts up, here’s the Reader’s Digest version of how the cat formerly known as Stripe came into our lives.

bella

Early this year the crack-whore niece-in-law was kicked out of her baby’s daddy house. She had four cats in this place. The better half and I took in these cats into our house because we didn’t feel comfortable with them staying with Mr. Baby Daddy. From what we heard he wasn’t a fan of most of those cats, and years ago a kitten died while in his care. By taking these cats in, this caused our house to be a safe haven for a few months. During this time the cats all got fixed and had physicals. Yes, we had SEVEN cats in our house (these four and our three). Yes, they were all quarantined, even after the four squatters were given a clean bill of health. The two males didn’t get along with our three permanent residents. The mother of this brood didn’t get along with anyone either. Then there was a white kitty named Stripe. Out of the four she was by far the most jittery of the group. From what we learned, the crack-whore niece-in-law’s baby daddy didn’t like Stripe and mistreated her. In what ways we don’t know. But you can tell when an animal’s been abused, and Stripe had those qualities.

After these cats got fixed, we tried adopting them out. We found a place for the two males and we found a place for Stripe. Or so we thought. In hindsight, I should have never adopted Stripe to what I call the White Trash Foster Family. Mrs. kkk and I posted adoption flyers in a number of vet offices, and the White Trash Foster Family responded to one of the ads. When they came over to see Stripe, I could tell they weren’t paying at the top income tax bracket rate. Not only did they have that poor people stink, but they were also from Jeanette (local joke). However, when it comes to pets, it doesn’t matter your income level. Besides, they already had three cats – one a year old and the other two well into their teens. They wanted a younger cat, which made sense. Let the two youngins entertain each other and leave the older cats alone. Besides, they also had two children, who would have made sure the litter was scooped and food bowls filled. Also, they recently had a cat that passed away.

When they stopped over, several red flags went off for me. The biggest red flag being when the matriarch of the White Trash Foster Family talked about wanting to adopt a cat from a shelter but complaining about the $70ish adoption fee. Uh, you’re bitching about $70 – what happens if the cat needs a vet appointment? Nevertheless, I went against my better judgment and Stripe went with them.

For a month.

About two weeks into Stripe’s departure, I gave the White Trash Foster Family a call just to see how she was doing. No response. Eh, they have two kids. Life’s crazy. I’ll give that a pass. Then two weeks after that I get a call from the White Trash Foster Family saying Stripe isn’t working out. Apparently she’s terrified of everyone but one of the kids and terrorizing the other cats. When terrorizing the other cats, we were told Stripe wouldn’t let up on her assaults – even after she got squirted with water. I told them to bring her back.

The next day I got a call from the White Trash Foster Family yet again. Apparently, when being put in the cat carrier Stripe went ballistic and scratched up the parents from the White Trash Foster Family. The matriarch said she was cut up so bad that she had to go to the emergency room and the patriarch could be heard in the background calling Stripe “a little bitch.” The kids could also be heard crying. Wonderful. Well they finally arrived and I just wanted to get these people in and out as quickly as possible. They gave me the cat carrier and I just went to my first-floor bathroom, released Stripe and gave the carrier back to the White Trash Foster Family. I asked them if they gave Strip the $20 booster shot that she needed. They said no. What a surprise. They also didn’t have any of the tags or medical records that we gave them. For the record, the reason we didn’t give Strip the booster shot is because it had to be done a certain time after she got fixed. The White Trash Foster Family wanted Stripe ASAP and knew about the need for this shot. They said they would handle it.

Once the White Trash Foster Family left and I went to check on Stripe. Not only was she covered in blood but also her long left tooth was hanging on by a thread. THEY KNOCKED OUT ONE OF HER F’N TEETH! When the better half came home from work that day and saw the condition Stripe was in she went apeshit, and that’s being kind. After documenting Stripe’s condition, which by that time included Stripe’s tooth falling out, we got her checked out by our regular vet. Our vet said the only way that tooth could have been knocked out was by blunt force. My guess is that it probably took place when the White Trash Foster Family was trying to get Stripe into the carrier, but who the hell knows. My vet also had one of those I-shouldn’t-be-laughing-but-I-can’t-help-it-because-it’s-true moments when I commented that the people we adopted Stripe to were welfare trash from Jeanette. Once again, a local joke. You know this kind of laugh. It’s probably the same one you did when I first mentioned “poor people stink.”

Oh, and about Stripe being a terror…

1) When we gave her a bath to wipe the blood and poor people stink from her, she put up NO resistance. This was a shock, considering when we givie any of our other three the same treatment it usually results in shredded shirts and numerous cuts on my arm and back. (I’m the handler, Mrs. kkk is the shampoo artist.)

2) When we put Stripe in our carrier for her vet trips, there was NEVER any resistance. Now we use a much larger carrier than most so it’s easier to get our cats in the device, but even if we used a smaller cage there wouldn’t have been a struggle.

3) Now while Stripe was once again terrified of me, she acted fine around the better half. Hmmm, scared more than ever of men. I wonder what could have happened at the White Trash Foster Family Manor?

4) She HATES water. She runs off when a room’s squirt bottle is picked up because most of the time it’s intended for her. This of course made her compliance with taking an actual bath in Point 1 all the more baffling, but whatever.

Now after this ordeal, I knew the better half wasn’t going to try and adopt Stripe out to someone else. Welcome Feline Addition #4. And welcome Stripe’s new name – Bella. Mrs. kkk gave her this name as a “clean start” from the turmoil she’s gone through for the first 8-9 months of her life.

Now why am I talking about all this? Well, Bella has been with us for a few months, and our house is still a war zone of sorts. We knew our oldest female Dessa would hate her – she hates everyone. JJ didn’t like Bella at first, but JJ doesn’t like any new addition. But then after a while JJ just turns over a new leaf and treats the new addition as if he/she was a littermate. JJ’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Max and Bella have developed a connection and Bella has attached herself to him at the hip. Sure they wrestle and it usually results in drama, but Bella is a drama queen to begin with. If you’re making a sandwich on the kitchen counter and Bella hops up trying to get a slice of meat or potato chip, she’ll cry like a child when you pick her up and put her down on the floor. Yeah, there’s still some drama going on, but it’s nothing like what the White Trash Foster Family was describing. Besides, our house had feline drama before. Nothing has changed.

But despite Bella’s progress at dealing with yet another new environment, she has pretty much stayed away from me. That was until yesterday. I was sitting on the living room recliner listening to music when Bella hopped up on a nearby couch. She looked at me for a little while, and that’s when I decided to try and coax her over. We had been playing fetch with a plastic milk lid for a while earlier that morning, so I figured her guard might be let down. It was. She came over to me and became a lap cat for about 20-30 minutes. The first time she’s done this with me. (She’s only done this with Mrs. kkk one time prior.)

If you watch the “Dog Whisperer,” you’ll know that host Cesar Millan always tells dog owners not to treat dogs as people. If you rescue a dog from a bad situation don’t feel sorry of it because that hampers rehabilitation efforts. The dog doesn’t feel bad over what happened to it in the past and neither should you. Well, I try my best to carry that over into the cat world. While I was PISSED at what happened to Bella during her time with the White Trash Foster Family, I didn’t try to baby Bella once she came living with us full-time. However, unlike dogs, cats are not as social. I’ve learned that it’s usually best to let the cat come to you rather than you come to the cat. And with Bella I waited until she seemed all but willing to pay me a visit and then gave her that last little nudge.

Mission Accomplished.

Of course after our cuddle session she got squirted a few times afterward for misbehaving, but it was a nice milestone for an animal that had a rough start to her life. Hey, you take any win no matter how small.

Or fuzzy.

One side note: After taking Bella in from the White Trash Foster Family, these people called me a few weeks later. The White Trash Foster Family matriarch said they had called the DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH because she was concerned about catching rabies or some other disease from when Bella “mauled” her. In a surprising twist, I kept my composure and reminded her that Bella had all her shots except for a $20 booster that they said they were going to provide. (These records were still at their house, but I forgot to mention that during this call. Drat.) I also added that once we saw Bella had a missing tooth we took her to the vet shortly after she arrived at our house. The two vets that looked at her tested her for diseases gave her a clean bill of health. Her response to the missing tooth? “It must have happened when she was fighting with the other cats.” BULLSHIT. However, there’s a time to go ballistic on someone and there’s a time when you just want the human waste out of your life forever. I was gunning for the latter. Actually, I think this call was an indirect attempt for me to pay off some of the emergency room bill, if indeed they were charged for this medical procedure. Thankfully I have never heard from these deviants since. And more thankfully, the better half has never had to talk to them – I can’t begin to imagine how that scene would play out.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 19, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Posted in Life

This Excuse (And Solution) To Pay Back $80 Is A Snow Job

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Oh, well if he seemed reluctant then that makes it better.

Investigators said an armed man seemed reluctant, but robbed a 16-year-old girl working at a snow cone stand anyway. Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Lt. Don Hutson said the man walked through the back door of the Snow Shack on Wednesday and showed that he had a gun.

Hutson said he then told the teen he didn’t want to do it, but owed his brother $80 and ordered her to give him the money.

The girl handed over the money and the man ran away. Law enforcement officers are still looking for him.

Seriously now, I know we’re in the midst of the HUSSEIN RECESSION but it’s EIGHTY DOLLARS. This isn’t 1920. The bank slushie robber isn’t a kid. There are ways to pay off $80. Hell, get a job at Snow Shack. After one or two eight-hour shifts you’ll have enough to pay off your debtor, plus discounted icy treats.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 18, 2009 at 10:43 am

Posted in News

Mean Log-In Info Gets A Pass(word) From Me

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Now I know why Brazil is getting rid of their one private-sector security firm. Not because they have employees that would make people applying for welfare type in passwords damaging their self-esteem, but rather because these passwords didn’t include any numbers or capital letters.

It’s a shameless thing to do in an economic crisis. Jobless people seeking information about their benefits on the Brazilian Labor Ministry’s Web were forced to type in passwords such as “bum” and “shameless.”

Labor Minister Carlos Lupi is apologizing for the situation—and he blames a private company that created the site’s security system.

Lupi isn’t naming the company, but says its contract with the ministry wasn’t being renewed, which may have prompted the pranks.

The insults were discovered after an irate user wrote to the O Globo newspaper about it earlier this week.

The site was temporarily taken down. But by Friday it was up and running—without the insulting words.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 18, 2009 at 10:36 am

Posted in News

Searching For Anything Good

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Are you kidding me?

Of all the statistics pouring into the White House every day, top economic adviser Larry Summers highlighted one Friday to make his case that the economic free-fall has ended.

The number of people searching for the term “economic depression” on Google is down to normal levels, Summers said.

Searches for the term were up four-fold when the recession deepened in the earlier part of the year, and the recent shift goes to show consumer confidence is higher, Summers told the Peterson Institute for International Economics.

I don’t mean to pull out this card, but man if a Republican would ever say this sort of thing… ugh.

Hate to pee in your punchbowl, Larry, but did ever occur to you that Google search terms are down because people are cutting off their Internet access or getting booted out of their houses due to the HUSSEIN RECESSION? Hey, if you want to come up with lamebrain reasons, I can match you example-for-example.

And while we’re at it, if what you are saying — that the economy’s improving due to a downturn in Google search terms — how come our country’s birth rate isn’t higher? I’m sure there’s quite a number of Google search terms dealing with love-making, and I’m equally sure those search terms NEVER decrease.

Summers continued the administration’s push-back against critics of President Hussein’s handling of the recession, defending the economic stimulus package against Republicans who have tried to paint the program as a failure because it hasn’t stemmed the unemployment rate.

Oh for fuck’s sake. Most of this money for this abortion hasn’t even been spent. I have to give you guys credit. You’re hoarding it all until election season, and then you’ll have the Mother Of All War Chests. Gotta give you mad props on that one. Your goal of having all of us Katrina refugees dependent on your government teet will probably come to fruition sooner than you think.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 18, 2009 at 10:28 am

Posted in News

Thinning Out The Numbers In Your Bank Account

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Wha-wha-what?

Vice President Joe Biden told people attending an AARP town hall meeting that unless the Democrat-supported health care plan becomes law the nation will go bankrupt and that the only way to avoid that fate is for the government to spend more money.

“And folks look, AARP knows and the people with me here today know, the president knows, and I know, that the status quo is simply not acceptable,” Biden said at the event on Thursday in Alexandria, Va. “It’s totally unacceptable. And it’s completely unsustainable. Even if we wanted to keep it the way we have it now. It can’t do it financially.”

“We’re going to go bankrupt as a nation,” Biden said.

“Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?’” Biden said. “The answer is yes, that’s what I’m telling you.”

We have to spend money or we’ll go bankrupt. Now where have I heard that before?

We only kill animals to “thin out their numbers.” If we don’t hunt, then these animals will grow too big in number and they won’t have no food. So you see, we have to kill animals or else they’ll die.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? You’re welcome. This line comes within the first minute or so of the episode.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 17, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Posted in News

One Shitty Story

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Why the hell is a news article with the headline “Iowa man accused of smearing feces on building” on the frickin’ AP wire? During my college days I saw quite a few of Shittsburgh’s fine residents go to the bathroom on various buildings. All this while waiting for the public transportation system to whisk me the hell out of the city.

A man faces criminal mischief charges after he allegedly defecated on a downtown Elgin sidewalk and smeared feces on the door of a building. Authorities said the building houses the Valley Community Coalition. Officials believe the man targeted the organization, but they aren’t sure why…

Uh oh…

siren

HATE CRIME~!

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 16, 2009 at 11:48 pm

Posted in News

Forget Office Space, How About A F’n Phone?

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So here’s another work story. Except this time it’s not about my workplace. Yeah, I know – stop the presses.

The better half works at the University of Shittsburgh doing research. Don’t ask what because I don’t know nor care, just so long as those phat paychecks keep coming in to my pocket yo. She’s been on this project since March. Now the first few months of this study have been spent by her contacting state agencies in every county across Pennsylvania. That’s 67 counties. Mrs. kkk was working with them all in setting up some database that they all will contribute to and extract information from; it’s supposed to be a big deal. Some counties love it. Some hate it. Whatever. Now, when you are dealing with 67 different organizations you would think that you would have a telephone at your disposal.

x

Nope.

Forget getting her own office, which she is supposed to have, the better half has had to work out of a cubicle with a telephone that A) doesn’t dial long distance and B) doesn’t record messages. When you’re dealing with 67 different groups statewide, you kinda need these things. While the Red Tape was being snipped to get such luxuries as a telephone, Mrs. kkk was using her our cell phone network to talk with these 67 agencies. During her first few months on the job, the database was constructed, the training that all 67 counties had to go through was completed and everyone was happy – the 67 counties, Mrs. kkk and Mrs. kkk’s boss.

That was until the cell phone bill came in.

All that gabbing the better half did put us over on our latest cell phone bill. So what did she do? She did what she was told — she sent this to the Finance Department for reimbursement. And what did we she get in her inbox this morning? This:

“Personal cell phone expenses are not eligible for reimbursement. Please see section I.4 of the Travel and Business Expense policy. If it’s going to be necessary to make phone calls away from the office, please review the link provided in the policy for different options. Thanks.”

You got to be fucking kidding me.

Look, the reimbursement is only for $70. The money’s not the issue. It’s the fact these pencil pushers have spent MONTHS getting the better half’s office and phone in place when at least a PHONE should have been all set prior to her first day on the job — especially when the telephone was going to be a pretty important piece of equipment from the get-go.

You know, Shitt U. can’t get dick done when it comes to setting up offices, but they sure know the Travel and Business Expense Policy Handbook. Jesus Tap Dancin’ Christ.

Once the better half’s boss found out about this roadblock, she about had a conniption. After she raised a fuss to the person who wrote the above e-mail, it was advised that Mrs. kkk wait until she goes on another business trip and include this phone reimbursement in with her per diem expenses.

Kiss my black cracker ass.

Thanks to the shitdicks I worked for prior to my current place of employment, I can see this bear trap a mile away. The better half’s next business trip will take place sometime in December. And when she enters this cell phone expense in with the rest of her paperwork, these same rat bastards will red flag this and “won’t remember” telling her to enter this cell phone stuff onto this reimbursement sheet.

For the record, the better half doesn’t have an office yet. Now while it’s not the end of the world working from a cubicle, she’s constantly on the phone talking about confidential information, which is some sort of violation. Wonder if that’s in a Policy Handbook?

One final note: Mrs. kkk was also told to itemize all her work-related cell phone calls, which she spent more than half her workday today completing. Now keep in mind, our original reimbursement request was just to cover the overage charge to our cell phone bill. The itemized bill takes each call she made and does a “per minute” charge. What is the total of this bill? $90.

So these assclowns now “owe” us an extra $20.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 16, 2009 at 11:35 pm

Posted in Life

KKKrs-One Attacks

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Here’s the latest tagged/note thing from Facebook. Once I got to “Biggest Fear” I knew I made the right choice as to which rap artist to go with. And it was a tough selection process.

My Life According To … Boogie Down Productions/KRS-One

Using only song names from one artist, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title under penalty of death. Repost as “my life according to (band name).” Blahblahblah.

(Only using songs in my discography.)

Are you a male or female?
Blackman In Effect

How do you feel:
13 And Good

Describe where you currently live:
The Real Holy Place

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Outta Here

Your favorite form of transportation:
Over Ya Head

Your best friend is:
The Racist

What’s the weather like:
Ruff Ruff

Favorite time of day:
Halftime (Interlude track, no YouTube.)

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
My Philosophy

What is life to you:
Questions And Answers

Your fear:
Free Mumia

What is the best advice you have to give:
Stop Frontin’

Thought for the Day:
Who Are The Pimps?

How I would like to die:
100 Guns

My soul’s present condition:
Criminal Minded

My motto:
Health, Wealth, Self

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 16, 2009 at 10:41 pm

Posted in Life

For This Price, You Better Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

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Don’t worry. With the way President Hussein and pals are taxing cancer sticks, it’s only a matter of time before they’re actually this expensive.

A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. Josh Muszynski checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number—a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars).

Muszynski says he spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to sort out the string of numbers and the $15 overdraft fee…

OK, I have to add this, too, even though that last paragraph would be a great way to leave this article.

…The bank corrected the error the next day.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm

Posted in News

Amethysts Are A Sorceresses’ Best Friend (If She’s Too Weak For Plate Mail)

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So earlier today I posted a recent workplace event that dealt with my assistant. Here was what went on today.

Her two kids got her a “ruby” ring. Actually, it was plastic, but whatever. It’s the thought that counts. Of course, when I use the “it’s the thought that counts” line to the better half whenever I pinch the purse strings on a gift she doesn’t seem to agree with this sentiment. Then again one of her recent anniversary gifts was from the Used CD Store so she may have a point, but I digress. Here is the conversation that took place after the assistant displayed her newly purchased bling.

Me: Ruby? It looks more like an Amethyst.

Her: That’s weird. I think it does, too. How did you know that?

Me: Because in Diablo 2 you can use gems to upgrade armor and weapons, and an Amethyst boosts your attack rating and strength.

Her: You’re a child.

Me: I know.

I don’t care for the Amethysts. Sapphires are where it’s at — freezing/shattering resurrecting skeletons FTW.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 15, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Posted in Life

What To Do With A Threat? Post-It

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So on Friday my assistant came to work with her two kids. One is seven. The other is four. They were fine; they always are when they tag along with their mother. However, on Friday their mother and I had a number of discussions about upcoming projects. Didn’t think much of that day at the office.

Monday came and went. The assistant wasn’t in (she usually isn’t on Mondays). Tuesday arrived. I stopped in the assistant’s office and we started talking. As the conversation progressed, I noticed a Post-it note on her easel/Sharpie board thingy. The note was written by the seven-year-old on Friday.

postitnotemommy

Apparantly, the seven-year-old didn’t think too fondly of me taking his mother’s precious time away from him. Oh, and for those that went to a government school, the kid really didn’t write “kkk.” There’s a “k” in my first name and I have Photoshop.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 15, 2009 at 8:49 pm

Posted in Life

Swindell Statue

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Oh I can’t wait until my local RIGHT-WING Tribune-Review newpaper gets a hold of this. They are going to have an absolute field day.

When they go and collect the career highlights of Ed Rendell, there’s no doubt the Pennsylvania Governor will find this piece of videotape from The Pittsburgh Channel prominently featured.

In the 2009-2010 battle of the budget, Rendell said state workers should “put a statue of me on the mantel,” for the way he is trying to save jobs.

Rendell’s budget, which includes a hike in the personal income tax, would save more jobs than any bill brought forth by Senate or House Republicans. However, in the public relations battle, this round does not go exactly Rendell’s way.

Look for this priceless quote about 1:33 into the segment. The TV station that produced the clip, wtaetv, has disabled their 2:40 video clip so as to not allow it to be shared across the Web. No doubt they are the proud owners of a very popular little clip.

Here’s the video clip.

I may not be a Keystone State employee, but I’ll get a statue of Fast Eddie anyway. It won’t go up on my mantle (I don’t think I even have a mantle), but rather out in the yard. This Tower of Tribute will also have a bull’s-eye on top of its head to give the birds better aim.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 14, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Posted in News

The Cat’s Meow (Or Purr)

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Really?

A cat’s purr normally says, “I’m happy.”

dessa1

Not with this bitch.

With her a purr usually means, “Even though I hopped up on you, I forbid you to pet me and I’m about to gnaw your hand.”

Wait, there’s more.

But a new study suggests some purrs send cat owners a much different message: “Feed me!”

Researchers found that purrs of hungry cats included a higher-pitched sound, somewhat like a cry or meow. They played recordings of these purrs from 10 cats to 50 human volunteers. Even people who’d never owned a cat found them to be more urgent and less pleasant than contented purrs from the same animals.

These food-seeking purrs may exploit the way humans naturally respond to a baby’s cry, the researchers suggest. Not all cats use this strategy, but some apparently learn to turn it on when they see it’s effective in getting a human to feed them, Karen McComb of the University of Sussex in England said in a statement.

Is that so? Whenever it’s feeding time at my zoo I don’t hear purrs. I hear whining and crying. Then again, our clan (all four of them) gets regulated feedings. Three times a day — 1/8 cup in the morning when we wake up, 1/4 cup in the afternoon after work and 1/8 cup right before bed. If you were in our house during one of these three feeding times, you’d think you were at a refugee camp when the rice truck pulled up.

Here’s what usually happens. These two (JJ, gray; Max, black)…

jjmax

…go running around in circles crying. Dessa (the brown bitch) will stay in one place and swat/lunge at either one of these two that get too close to her, which usually means a 5-foot radius from where she resides. Then there’s the newest member, Bella, who for now keeps her distance until the food gets placed onto the ground and then goes in for the kill.

bella

Now here’s the really fun part. Dessa and JJ get the Mature Adult Science Diet, Bella gets the Regular Adult Science Diet and Max gets some special brand to help him pee. Because of this, everyone needs to be fed in a separate room. JJ is usually by himself, Bella usually eats in the bathroom with the door closed, and Max and Dessa usually eat in the bedroom with the door closed. Why? Because if let loose, everyone will go to everyone else’s bowl. Bella will go over to JJ’s dish, JJ will go over to Max’s dish and Max will go to Bella’s dish. (Everyone usually leaves Dessa alone until the rest of the food in the other three bowls are finished. Then they wait like vultures over a lion eating a dead wildebeest.)

This happens three times a day.

Every day.

And did I forget to mention that yesterday the Queen Bitch decided to pee on the bed for the first time in her 10-year existence? It’s not because she’s sick. It’s part of her nonstop temper tantrum because of us making Bella a permanent member of our feline family. But that’s another story for another time…

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 14, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Posted in Life

Flying Is For The Dogs

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So I saw the headline on Drudge, and I’m sure a lot of people are thinking, “Oh God what a stupid idea.” But you know what? I’m going to give this a once-over, because I think this could have merit.

One trip for their Jack Russell terrier in a plane’s cargo hold was enough to convince Alysa Binder and Dan Wiesel that owners needed a better option to get their pets from one city to another.

On Tuesday, the first flight for the husband-and-wife team’s Pet Airways, the first-ever all-pet airline, took off from Republic Airport in Farmingdale, N.Y.

All commercial airlines allow a limited number of small pets to fly in the cabin. Others must travel as checked bags or in the cargo hold—a dark and sometimes dangerous place where temperatures can vary wildly.

Binder and Wiesel used their consulting backgrounds and business savvy to start Pet Airways in 2005. The last four years have been spent designing their fleet of five planes according to new four-legged requirements, dealing with FAA regulations and setting up airport schedules.

The two say they’re overwhelmed with the response. Flights on Pet Airways are already booked up for the next two months.

Pet Airways will fly a pet between five major cities—New York, Washington, Chicago, Denver, and Los Angeles. The $250 one-way fare is comparable to pet fees at the largest U.S. airlines.

For owners the big difference is service. Dogs and cats will fly in the main cabin of a Suburban Air Freight plane, retooled and lined with carriers in place of seats. Pets (about 50 on each flight) will be escorted to the plane by attendants that will check on the animals every 15 minutes during flight. The pets are also given pre-boarding walks and bathroom breaks. And at each of the five airports it serves, the company has created a “Pet Lounge” for future fliers to wait and sniff before flights.

The company will operate out of smaller, regional airports in the five launch cities, which will mean an extra trip for most owners dropping off their pets if they are flying too. Stops in cities along the way means the pets will take longer to reach a destination than their owners.

A trip from New York to Los Angeles, for example, will take about 24 hours. On that route, pets will stop in Chicago, have a bathroom break, play time, dinner, and bunk for the night before finishing the trip the next day.

I hope this works out. I can’t imagine leaving any of my four cats in the cargo section of a plan while children get to freely run around. Sure the economic conditions will probably make this a challenging endeavor, but this is what America is all about — finding opportunity. That is, of course, until you find too much opportunity and President Hussein and Barney Fwank decide that you’ve had too much opportunity and that you need to spread some of your opportunity around to those that don’t have opportunity.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 14, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Posted in News

Wakefield Of Dreams

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Holy cow, that’s right. Tim Wakefield has never been an All-Star before. I didn’t know he was one this year until now. Good for him.

The moment Tim Wakefield realized what it meant to be at the All-Star game came well before he dressed alongside Derek Jeter or warmed up next to Roy Halladay.

It happened in a hotel elevator, actually.

That’s where Wakefield happened to run into Trevor Hoffman. The pair of fortysomething baseball lifers exchanged a fast, firm handshake, then ran off to another round of festivities.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 13, 2009 at 9:11 pm

Posted in Sports

One Gay Penguin Gets Happy Feet

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I’m not going to comment on where this zoo is located. No siree. Not at all.

Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.

Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.

“Of all of the parents that year, they were the best. They took very good care of their chick,” Brown told the San Francisco Examiner in a story published Saturday.

Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner’s old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.

“To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving,” Brown said. “She’s got her plan. I don’t think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long.”

Though Harry and Linda have been nesting in recent months, molting season in late summer tends to reshuffle couples, KTVU-TV reported Sunday.

“It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper,” Brown said. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

See, those penguins CAN be converted back.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 13, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Posted in News

Shades Of Gray, Now In More Places Than One

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So today I decided to go without my morning shave before work. No I didn’t get a notice in my HR file for poor hygiene. I was just too lazy to shave this morning. Plus I was running a bit late and wanted to get out of the office by 4 p.m. When it comes to dress codes, it’s no big deal at my place of employment. Hell, I wear shorts and a plain t-shirt to work 99 days out of 100 during the summer and jeans and a plain t-shirt to work 101 days out of 100 during the winter. Here’s kick in the ass that snuck up on me today.

I was using the restroom facilities and for some reason I looked into the mirror, but not directly at myself (another story for another day). However, I was able to notice a beacon where my chin is located. What what this beacon?

A silver hair.

You got to be kidding me.

I then saw several more of these little whiskers laughing at me. For God’s sake. It’s bad enough my hair has been graying since I was 23. Now my face is following suit. W00t~!

Actually, truth be told, I really don’t care. The better half has had a field day since 1999 pointing out the selected hair strands that get grayer and grayer with each passing year. I’m not quite a silver fox yet, but it is noticeable enough. Of course, last month at my idiot mother’s wedding she pointed out my gray stuff for THE FIRST TIME. Uhhhhh, I’ve had gray hair since 1999. Thanks for noticing. Then again, with all the infrequent visits I make to her, I’m surprised she knows what I look like at all.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Posted in Life

Do You Understand The Words That Are Coming Out Of My Mouf?

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So I’m not the nastiest person in the world. Sure I’m a terrible human being (my upcoming entry about last night’s wedding is going to prove this), but I’m not ALL bad.

Take for example tele-survey people. They call asking for your time to complete a survey over the phone. While many people hang up on these calls, I do not. Hey, if a company wants my input then I’m going to give it to them. With my ever-advancing age, most commercials aren’t targeting me like they once did. I don’t want the products I use to go by the wayside just because I was too busy putzing around doing something else to take a brief survey.

Well today was a bit different. Let me explain.

This guy calls and asks if I can do a survey about sports stuff. Sure. The better half and I were watching a movie, but whatever. These people will just call again later anyway. Might as well get it over with. One of the first questions I ask these people is, “How long is this going to take? Be honest.” I never expect to get a truthful answer, but once in a while you do get the truth. “About 15 minutes,” I was told.

That was at 7:40 p.m.

As I was going through this survey, I could not understand this guy. Not only was he talking too fast, he was mumbling and slurring his words. (No, he wasn’t drunk.) The problem when you are trying to talk in a hurry is that many times the person you are talking to can’t understand what’s being said. You then have to have the person repeat what he/she says, which is more time-consuming and a bit irritating. There were at least a half-dozen instances in which I stopped this guy and said, “Look, I can’t understand what you are saying. Speak slower and clearer.”

And remember that part about this being a 15-minute survey? It wasn’t. It was at 8:20 p.m. when the guy asked me if I wanted to be put on a list so I can take more of these surveys. For the first time in my life I got a little pissed during one of these surveys. I said to him, “No. I don’t have a problem taking these surveys, but you said this was going to take 15 minutes. It took more than a half-hour. In addition, I told you a number of times to slow down and speak clearer. You didn’t. If this is what I can expect from future surveys, then I don’t wish to take these.”

Now keep in mind I wasn’t yelling or being belligerent. However, I was annoyed, and I had every right to me (in my opinion). If he would have said this survey would have taken about a half-hour, I would have been understanding. But he didn’t. And there’s no fucking way this survey would have been done in 15 minutes with anyone different asking or answering these questions. But what happened next? I have no way to prove this, but I’m 99.9 percent sure the guy started to CRY. Oh good lord. Look, one reason I have a soft spot for these people is because I worked at a survey-taker — for six hours before quitting. If you’re not cut out for this sort of thing, this would be a terrible job. But considering everything that happened, I felt I was well within my justification to comment on the fact this survey took more than twice as long as I was told it would take and that despite repeated attempts the survey-taker made the process more arduous by trying to pretend he was this guy.

Of course, at least with the Micro Machine Man, I could actually understand what he was saying.

Now you might be saying, “But kkk, you’re old. You’re hearing ain’t what it used to be. Maybe you just can’t understand anything unless it’s turned up to Volume 10 on the radio dial.” Well that may be true, but the better half, who first answered this call, couldn’t understand a word this guy said either. And she’s not as old as me … yet.

Let me put this into perspective. If that phone interview really would have been 15 minutes, it would have taken as long as it took me to post this entry.

One final note. For those of you who don’t understand the headline to this entry, here you go.

No real reason for posting this. It’s just one of those lines Mrs. kkk and I use on each other when one of us can’t understand what the other person is saying.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 12, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Posted in Life

Stumping For The Enemy

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Saw this headline on Drudge this morning: Palin to stump for conservative Democrats?

Brushing aside the criticisms of pundits and politicos, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said she plans to jump immediately back into the national political fray — stumping for conservative issues and even Democrats — after she prematurely vacates her elected post at month’s end.

The article itself is a bunch of blahblahblah, but the headline is what got my attention. If a figure running for national office supports candidates from the opposite party, I say “good.” As long as that candidate sees a number of issues the same way with the person using his/her political clout.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with voting for someone not affiliated with your political party. In fact, many times I’ll take a conservative democrat over a liberal republican. The problem comes many times when you vote for the other party that candidate you support is a black sheep in Capitol Hill leadership. For example, if I supported a Blue Dog in my redneck of the woods, this person would just be giving that feminazi from California more power. Thank God the Congressional Democrat wanna-bes that run around here aren’t better than what I already got representing me. Knowing I’d be giving another warm body for Nancy Pelosi to fill up her side of the Congressional aisle won’t make me sleep any better at night.

“But kkk,” you may ask. “What Democrat WOULD you vote for?” I’ll tell you who. If my state’s governor’s race ends up being Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato and the state’s Attorney General Tom Corbett, I’m having a hard time convincing myself NOT to vote for Onorato. Kind of a weird feeling, actually. Yeah, it’s still a statewide position, but I actually put a higher emphasis on governors than assholes who go to-and-from Washington, DC. After all, there are 100 Senators but only 50 Governors. Which one is the more exclusive club?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 12, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Posted in News

Carrey A Grandpa? Well O’Righty Then

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Wow. Talk about a punch in the gut for how old I feel like now.

Jim Carrey is going to be a grandfather.

Then again, he’s not even 50 yet. But I don’t care.

I really don’t find him all that funny, but I’m not hatin’ on the guy. If you like his routine, then good for you. However, my favorite Carrey moment comes in “Liar Liar” between 0:10-0:25. I really don’t like the movie itself, but this was a great bit.

Damn embedding mumbo jumbo. If you can’t figure it out, it’s when he says, “Stop breaking the law asshole!”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 11, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Posted in Entertainment