KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for July 2009

Grounded In Reality — When Usually Peaceful Animals Charge, You Respond With Force

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Now as some of you may know from my posts at the other place, I have a groundhog living under my backyard shed. Well, actually now there’s a family, but I digress. Fact of the matter is I’m a friend of these furry creatures. However, after hearing this story, I have to side with the cops.

Police in northern New Jersey needed pepper spray to thwart a groundhog on the attack. Boonton resident Alex Scott told police the rodent chased him when he entered his garage and tried to get his truck. Police Sgt. Mike Danyo and Officer Paul Ryan said the groundhog went on the attack when they arrived.

Police said Danyo tripped and fell. His partner sprayed pepper spray into the groundhog’s face, giving the officers time to snare it.

The animal was euthanized and its remains will be shipped to the state health department for rabies testing.

This story was at the Huffington Post, and some of the comments about the officers macing/killing the rodent are … interesting.

This is disgusting. What kind of pansy poofter police do you have in “Boontown, New Joisey”, that they are so scared of a freakin groundhog they have to pepper spray it and then kill it in case it exacts revenge on them?? More homicidal abuse of animals by the stupidest humans on the planet.

Doesn’t say a lot about the truck driver and the two cops.. it took three of them to bring down this cuddly, fluffy hamster of doom.

The poor groundhog! I used to have a groundhog in my back yard and he would sit on the back steps and I would hand him carrots and he would stand there wobbling and chewing the carrots as we regarded each other across a chasm of evolution.

Poor animal. They usually just catch these things and release them in another location.

Now while there were comments like the ones above, there were others that noted groundhogs normally don’t come charging out like gangbusters. I agree. The groundhog(s) on my property freak out when I knock on the back door window and run back under the shed. Hey, it’s funny. What can I say? And for the theory that the groundhog was “cornered” or “protecting his home,” the better half and I ALWAYS go near our groundhogs’ residence and they have NEVER done anything to us.

Oh, and this just in. The groundhog DID have rabies.

An unusually aggressive groundhog that attempted to attack a resident and two police officers before it was doused with pepper spray last week was confirmed to have rabies, officials said on Thursday.

Good thing the groundhog wasn’t a Harvard scholar. The cops might be facing a civil lawsuit or, worse yet, have to have an adult beverage with President Hussein.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 31, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Posted in News

Rinse, Repave, Repeat

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Earlier this week while driving in that fun construction zone right next to my house, the better half and I opined the reasoning for this stretch of road to be redone. It didn’t seem to be in all that bad of condition.

Now we may know the answer.

Tens of thousands of unsafe or decaying bridges carrying 100 million drivers a day must wait for repairs because states are spending stimulus money on spans that are already in good shape or on easier projects like repaving roads, an Associated Press analysis shows.

President Hussein urged Congress last winter to pass his $787 billion stimulus package so some of the economic recovery money could be used to rebuild what he called America’s “crumbling bridges.” Lawmakers said it was a historic chance to chip away at the $65 billion backlog of deficient structures, often neglected until a catastrophe like the Minneapolis bridge that collapsed two years ago this Saturday.

States, however, have other plans. Of the 2,476 bridges scheduled to receive stimulus money so far, nearly half have passed inspections with high marks, according to federal data. Those 1,123 sound bridges received such high inspection ratings that they normally would not qualify for federal bridge money, yet they will share in more than $1.2 billion in stimulus money.

You know, there is at least one little bridge that I know of which needs rebuilt and it’s not being touched. Yet several miles of Rt. 30 that were just fine are getting redone. Nice.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 31, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Posted in News

Crime And Pooh-nishment

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So there has been an update to the bitch…

dessa1

…and her banishment to a single room when nobody is in the house. The better half decided to give her another go at freedom, just as long as our bedroom door and the basement door were closed. No pissing on the bed. No pissing/shitting under the sink basin. Or behind the boiler. Or next to the washer and dryer…

I think you know where this is going.

Well for a few days everything seemed OK. Then we came home today and instantly we knew the bitch went to the bathroom somewhere other than a litter box. Thus began the fun game of “Let’s she where she pissed this time.” Our first guess was a carpeted area, so we began following our noses. Then, as I was in-between the kitchen and the dining room, I turned around and solved this groovy mystery.

SHE PISSED ON THE STOVE!

Yes. She peed on the stove. And you know what the worst thing of all this was? At almost the same time Mrs. kkk and I both said, “Well if she does pee somewhere outside a litter box, this isn’t such a bad place.”

That’s how bad this has gotten.

Oh, but it gets better.

The better half went over to the sink to get ready to clean this largely superficial carnage when she suddenly bowed her head in amazement/defeat. “What?” I asked. “See for yourself,” was her reply.

The bitch crapped IN THE SINK.

Couldn’t she have at least went Number One over there? At least that has a drain.

Now the plan is to take one litter box from upstairs and put it in the kitchen. Yeah, this will work. For about five minutes. You know, part of me actually wants the bitch to do something to the living room recliner or on one of our two new couches. I think that’s what it’s going to take to get Mrs. kkk to either ban her for life or try and get Bella adopted once again — this time to someone that doesn’t have the poor people stink.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Posted in Life

Risk Vs. Reward

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So this story reminded me of a tale from my youth.

A game of Monopoly has landed a Michigan man in jail. WDIV-TV reported a 54-year-old man was playing the board game Saturday night with a female friend when he tried to buy Park Place and Boardwalk from her.

When she refused, Fraser police Lt. Dan Kolke told WWJ-AM he hit her in the head, breaking her glasses.

The man was arrested and charged with misdemeanor assault and battery.

Back in the day my mom, dad, one half-brother and another person or two were in this intense game of Risk. If the legends are true, this game went deep into the night. When the smoke cleared my half-brother and dad were head-to-head. After a few hours or so my old man emerged victorious.

It was then that the following words were exchanged. Even though I was a kid at the time and didn’t witness the actual exchange, I’ve heard this story often enough to know what’s what.

Bro: You did WHAT?!
Dad: I went and grabbed some extra pieces from that one container.
Bro: You took more pieces?!
Dad: Yeah. So what?
Bro: That’s cheating! We played all night and you CHEATED?!
Dad: What’s the big deal?
Bro: We were up until THREE IN THE MORNING and YOU CHEATED!!!

Ah, family. Any wonder why I stay away?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 10:10 pm

Posted in Life

I’m Going To Sink Or Swim With This One

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So Uncle Ted finally got a medal. Lemme guess, it was for the 200m Breaststroke.

The longtime Massachusetts senator is one of 16 recipients of the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor.

Hey, he worked hard for that medal. He was swimming in pain. In fact, afterward he had to wear a neck brace. True grit.

OK, so I heard the Breaststroke joke elsewhere, but the neck brace line was all me.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Posted in News

Bucs Off A Sunken Ship

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You know, I really need to install some sort of laugh track when reading the bottom-of-the-screen scrawl during the MLB trade season.

After trading shortstop Jack Wilson to the Seattle Mariners today, the Pirates sent double-play partner and fellow All-Star infielder Freddy Sanchez to the San Francisco Giants tonight.

The Pirates received Double-A pitcher Tim Alderson, a first-round draft pick in 2007, from the Giants in exchange for Sanchez, who won the National League batting title in 2006.

Earlier in the day, the Pirates sent Wilson and enigmatic right-handed pitcher Ian Snell to Seattle.

Coming to the Pirates from Seattle are first baseman Jeff Clement, shortstop Ronny Cedeno and right-handed pitchers Aaron Pribanic, Brett Lorin and Nathan Adcock. Cedeno will join the major-league team, Clement will be assigned to Triple-A Indianapolis, and the three pitchers will report to Single-A teams.

Wilson has been the Pirates’ shortstop since 2001 and was the longest current tenured player with the team as well as one of its most popular players.

“It’s a sad day for me,” Wilson said. “Regardless of the record, I take a lot of pride in being a Pittsburgh Pirate. It was an honor to have played for the organization.”

Wilson can be a free agent at the end of the season, and he was asked whether he would consider returning to the Pirates.

“I would definitely consider it,” he said.

CONSIDER RETURNING? Jack, you’re free. Get the hell out of here!

Once again. I don’t care about these “prospects.” If any of them makes an impact in the majors, they’ll just get traded away. God why do people waste their money on this team?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2009 at 9:53 pm

Posted in Sports

Quick On The Drawl

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And to think I used to support you, Senator Voinobitch.

Republican Sen. George Voinovich, who is not running for re-election next year, told a newspaper in his home state of Ohio yesterday that Southerners bore a good share of the blame for his party’s lagging popularity.

“We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns,” Voinovich told the Columbus Dispatch Monday. “It’s the Southerners….

“They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr,'” he said, according to the paper. “People hear them and say, ‘These people, they’re Southerners. The party’s being taken over by Southerners. What they hell they got to do with Ohio?'”

You want to talk about embarrassment? Go onto the Senate floor and cry (again) about John Bolton heading off to the UN.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Posted in News