KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for August 2009

Eat And Run

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Well, it could have been worse. He could have just car-jacked the poor woman. Maybe he brought her flowers or something. Then again, those flowers would have probably been in the car he stole.

It’s cases like these where I’m always curious to hear what kind of defense will be brought up in court.

Police say a first date went from bad to worse when a man skipped out on the restaurant bill, then stole his date’s car.

Police say 23-year-old Terrance Dejuan McCoy had dinner with a woman April 24 at Buffalo Wild Wings in the Detroit suburb of Ferndale. The woman says the two met a week earlier at a Detroit casino and she knew McCoy only as “Chris.”

The woman told police that McCoy said he left his wallet in her car and asked for keys. He then sped away in the 2000 Chevrolet Impala.

The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak reports that police identified McCoy by a photo he’d sent to the woman’s cellphone, and his phone number.

McCoy is charged with unlawfully taking the car, a five-year felony. He waived a preliminary exam and was bound over for trial Thursday.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2009 at 1:27 am

Posted in News

99 Memories

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So this guy just died.

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy was laid to rest Saturday night alongside slain brothers John and Robert on hallowed ground at Arlington National Cemetery, celebrated for “the dream he kept alive” across the decades since their deaths.

I’m not going to mince words. I despised this piece of shit. However, I’m not going to say any more. If this would have happened 10 years ago I probably would have had a few more comments, a few Mary Jo jokes, a few “last call” one-liners. But what’s the point?

What I will do however is reprint a fun little sing-along dealing with Uncle Ted from several years ago that a group of us did on a now-defunct message board. There are some inside jokes and a number of dated references but I’m sure you can figure most of it out. It ain’t pretty. Oh who am I kidding, there are a TON of dated references — particularly from 1969.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2009 at 12:57 am

Posted in News

And Now A Word From Our Sponsors

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So I recently saw a new addition to the FreeCreditReport.com family of television ads. I’ve said before … at the other place I used to write at … that I liked this ad campaign. Have no desire to actually get the actual product these commercials are pimping, but whatever.

*Shakes head.* They should have quit while they were ahead.

But this got me thinking. What ad campaigns have attracted my attention over the last few years? Hey, sounds like a great way to waste time typing up another entry. Here’s my Top 5 list of favorite television ad campaigns from the last few years. Please note I’m not talking about individual commercials. I’m referring to a series of them. In no particular order, here we go:

1) FreeCreditReport.com. I can see how someone could HATE these ads. However, I think they’re generally well done. They’re different enough to stand out from each other, but there’s enough in-jokes with each one that entertains me enough not to change the channel. Here are some the ads which I liked:

2) Taco Bell’s Think Outside The Bun. Here’s another batch of ads that have been around a lot longer than they should have, but when this campaign first started I LOVED the “think outside the bun” line. Hmpf. Can’t find any of the older ads on Youtube. Not looking really hard, but oh well. I’m sure you’ve seen these.

3) T Mobile’s Dwayne Wade/Charles Barkley ads. I like Barkley. Wade seems like a nice enough person. Put the two of them together and you have a pretty effective chemistry. This series of ads has always entertained me, but my favorite one is when Dwight Howard was thrown into the mix. “Come on Dwight. Get some rebounds,” still gets a laugh out of me.

2) Burger King’s King. Some time ago Burger King began to get much better with its television ads, but when they brought back that King guy I REALLY began to enjoy the ads. I was especially partial to the Sir-Mix-A-Lot parody pimping kids meals.

1) So I was starting to run out of ideas to round out this list. One thought that came to mind was ESPN’s “This is SportsCenter” commercials, where ESPN employees interacted with athletes in a variety of ways. However, one thing that kept me from listing these ads was that there really was no prevailing cast of characters. Each time the ads featured different people. I gave the nod to another series of ESPN commercials from the College Football Gameday Crew. Meh, can’t find an ad from this batch. Wow, this list had quite the under-whelming sendoff.

Oh what the hell, here’s another ad I like. I didn’t list this because it’s just a single ad. And no I didn’t pick this because it features someone from the Steelers.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 30, 2009 at 12:24 am

Posted in Entertainment

Commitment To What?

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So I’m watching the NFL preseason game Saints at Raiders. The game’s being broadcast by the Raiders television network and after every replay or so there’s a flash on the screen featuring some “50 Years: Commitment To Excellence” graphic.

There are a few minutes left in the game and it’s Saints 45, Raiders 7.

Maybe the graphic ought to read, “42 Years: Commitment To Excellence” because the Silver and Black haven’t done jack shit since reaching the Super Bowl earlier this decade.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 29, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Posted in Sports

15 Movies With Influence~!

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Earlier this week I was tagged on Facebook with a “15 movies that made an impression on you” note. Here’s what I wrote.

According to Merriam-Webster’s first definition of “impression,” it is “a characteristic, trait, or feature resulting from some influence.” So with that in mind, here are the first 15 films that came to mind. I also included some “honorable mentions.” With the exception of the first two entries, these are in no particular order.

Star Wars (Original Trilogy)
What can I say? Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are without a doubt the movies I have watched the most out of any others. And yes, I included all three as one “big” movie. As a kid I was infatuated with such things as the At-Ats on Hoth, the inhabitants of Mos Eisley and Jabba’s monster-thing eating one of his guards in the Pit of Doom – that was quite a fun memory for a kid watching this in the theater. As I got older, I began to appreciate other things about the Star Wars trilogy: the initial Death Star assault, Vader’s head officer obliterating the rebel forces and power generator on Hoth, Wedge having a role in each of the films and just the overall awesomeness of the Emperor. But whatever you do don’t get me started on Greedo shooting first or that newly added song and dance sequence in Jabba’s place.

Honorable Mention(s): Lord Of The Rings Trilogy.

Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade
I’m a fan of the Indiana Jones series. Raiders of the Lost Ark was great. Temple of Doom was OK. But The Last Crusade is by far the best out of the three. Outside of the Star Wars universe, this is probably my most-watched movie. Yeah, it’s mindless popcorn fun, but is that supposed to be a bad thing? The biggest peeve I have about the fourth installment is that Kingdumb of the Crystal Bedpan completely ruins the Last Crusade’s ending that has Indy ride off into the sunset with Jones Sr., Sala and Marcus Brody — a perfect way to end this movie and to end this series. What happens in the fourth installment? Sala is nowhere to be seen while Brody and dad are dead. Ugh.

Honorable Mention(s): Godfather 1/2, Mummy/Mummy Returns, Rush Hour/2, Hunt For Red October, Lethal Weapon 3.

Glory
I always tear up several times throughout this film, from John Rawlins and his “What are you so full of hate…” beatdown of Private Trip to the end battle where Trip sacrifices himself so the rest of his troops will be motivated enough to fight on — even if it’s for a losing effort.

Honorable Mention(s): Wow. I can’t think of an “honorable mention” for this one. First thought that pops in my head is We Were Soldiers Once, but I wouldn’t put it anywhere close to Glory. Oh well.

Platoon
Yes, an Oliver Stone film. I always liked this movie. In everyone there is a Sgt. Barnes and Sgt. Elias battling for possession of their soul. And truthfully, you need a little Barnes every now and then. Or else you’d just be a hippie that knows how to fire a gun.

Honorable Mention(s): Wall Street — Gordon Gekko is not my hero. Role model? Sure. But not hero. Actually, my favorite character in all this is Carl Fox. I actually see a lot of father/son similarities between my dad and I and Carl/Bud. Well, except for the fact that Carl isn’t completely insane. Oh who am I kidding? Bud isn’t a nutcase either.

Demolition Man
There are several mindless action movies in the early-to-mid-1990s that I love, but this one stands out above the others. Why? Because this was one of the first films that encouraged me to start looking for “hidden” messages. At the time this movie came out I had recently read “Brave New World” in my English class, and it was fun to catch some of the tie-ins between this movie and the book. It actually made me feel smart – for about a minute.

Honorable Mention(s): Last Boy Scout, Fifth Element. These two fall into the “mindless action movies” category rather than the “pulled from renowned literature I read in school” group.

Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood
As someone who watched just about every “hood” movie of the early 1990s, this spoof by the Waynes brothers lampooned them all. As I said in my Facebook profile, I have never laughed so hard in the theater than I did when watching this movie. It has aged a bit since the mid-1990s, but I’m not here to playa hate.

Honorable Mention(s): Spaceballs.

Dirty Harry
Yeah, this was also in my “mock” list above. So what? Harry Callahan is the man. Yeah, it’s a simplistic tale of vigilante justice, but once again, so what? That’s one thing about our Harry, doesn’t play any favorites! Harry hates everybody…

Honorable Mention(s): Death Wish 2, Death Wish 3. Man, talk about a drop-off in quality from the selected movie and its honorable mentions.

Goldfinger
I was never into James Bond growing up, mostly because I was exposed to the Pierce Brosnan films. Too long of a story to explain why I didn’t really care for these movies. However, I was then exposed to the greatness of the Sean Connery films, and the first one I saw was Goldfinger. The part featuring the “early dawn raid on Fort Knox” music score is by far my all-time favorite over-the-top movie scene.

Honorable Mention(s): Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice.

Aliens
I never cared for “Alien.” I’m sure for its time it was a big deal, but like many people who are born after a something ground-breaking occurs or are just too young to remember, we aren’t able to fully appreciate the event. As a kid I fully related to the Hudson character from this film: the sarcasm, the poor attitude, the nonstop whining/bitching – hmm, sounds familiar. But when it’s time to go out, Hudson goes out like a champ.

Honorable Mention(s): Predator 2 – Bill Paxton played a similar role to his Hudson character in this other sci-fi sequel. And once again, if you are fighting an unwinnable battle with a being from another planet, you might as well go out the way Hudson or Jerry Lambert did.

Unforgiven
This movie would have probably been on this list when it first came out, but once I met the better half I really began to appreciate this film even more. Why? Because like Will Munny I have (or in his case, had) someone make me a better person, even though deep down inside I’m still a bastard. I have thought before about what would become of me if something should ever happen to Rachel and it was just me against the world (again). This movie’s ending isn’t very reassuring.

Honorable Mention(s): The Apostle.

As Good As It Gets
It’s hard to look at yourself the way other people see you. After all, everybody’s lost but you, right? Well every now and then you watch a movie/TV show or read a book in which a character makes you squirm a bit because he/she honestly reminds you of, well, you. Melvin Udall does that to me. Rather than recite one of his many lines that I can see coming out of my mouth, I’ll go with a line by Carol Connelly: “When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome… and then, of course, you spoke.” I’d be lying if I said I never heard something similar directed at me in the real world.

Honorable Mention(s): Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters and Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I’m sure the Grumpy Old Men movies will one day find their place here. Problem is I’m not sure which character will more resemble me at that age — John Gustafson or Max Goldman. My money’s on John but I’m still holding out for Grandpa.

Clerks
This movie has lost its shine over the years, but its release was perfect timing for me. The year was 1994. I was 18 and in the midst of working a string of similar jobs like our movie’s protagonists while going to college. I had the same pisspoor attitude as the characters in this film and the same inane conversations with co-workers/friends.

Honorable Mention(s): Mallrats.

Jaws
While the shark is the big attraction in this film, I was always fascinated with Martin Brody. A man who hates water takes the job as police chief of an island community — I can relate. And the scene in which Quint is trying to feebly fight off being lunch always freaked me out as a kid.

Honorable Mention(s): When it came to the Brody character, I had similar character fascinations with Marge Gunderson from Fargo (quirky on the outside, but a strong moral center), Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird (unafraid to take an unpopular stand) and Derek Vinyard from American History X (trying to right the wrongs of his past).

Who Framed Roger Rabbit
During my youth, whenever there was “let’s show a movie for the kids” at a day camp/social gathering, the adults always seemed to play either Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Ghostbusters. While I laughed as a kid at an animated baby cussing out a human director or at a human detective making an ass of himself in front of several animated weasel gangsters in order to save Toontown from being “dipped,” this was one of those “kid” movies that I appreciated even more as an adult. Looney Tunes and Disney characters together? Animated characters successfully interacting with humans? Wow.

Honorable Mention(s): Ghostbusters, The Incredibles, Babe.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space
I have no deep philosophical reasons for including this one. Sometimes you watch something crap-tasitc growing up and it sticks with you. We all have a Killer Klown or two in each of us.

Honorable Mention(s): Godzilla vs. Whatever, Team America: World Police – side note: The Chiodo brothers, who created Killer Klowns From Outer Space, were in charge of the puppets for Team America.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 25, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Dude Runs Like A Lady

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Man, talk about a lose-lose situation.

Looking shy and awkward under the glare of media attention, South African runner Caster Semenya returned home Tuesday amid questions about her gender after her 800-meter win at the world championships and South Africa’s president vowed that he would not permit her gold medal to be taken away, no matter what gender tests say…

…Semenya’s victory in Berlin came after world athletics officials said they were conducting gender tests after questions arose about her muscular build and deep voice. South Africans have embraced her achievement despite the questions.

If “it” turns out to be a “he,” then it’s embarrassing for “it.” If “it” turns out to be a “she,” then that’s probably WORSE.

Here’s what I say. If this…

wookie3

…can make a Maxim’s 100 hottest women’s list, then anything’s possible. My money’s on the vag.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 25, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Posted in Sports

Run Rudy Run

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Oh please do this.

A close ally of Rudy Giuliani said Monday night that he believes it’s “better than 50-50” that the former mayor will run for governor.

I didn’t get a chance to vote for you in Pennsylvania’s POTUS primary last year because you had long dropped out because the monkeys running your campaign decided it was a good idea to spend advertising money AFTER the polls closed in the first primary or two.

Not sure what your financial situation is, but if you’ve already made crazy jack from speeches/etc., come back. Then again, a Blubonic state deserves what it gets.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 25, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Posted in News