Judged Unworthy Of My Vote

So today I went out and did my civic duty and voted. Yay me.

With all the hype of a Muslim in the last election, there hasn’t been much talk this time around — especially in my redneck of the woods. However, if you don’t think local elections are fun then … well, you’re probably right. But still.

The big vote for me this year was the election of two judges. Three were in the running and the top two vote-getters would get a six-figure job for the next 10 years. I knew who I was voting for and who I didn’t want to see get in.

There are several reasons I didn’t want the one person to win. Reason #1, she came to my door a while back and I asked her opinion on eminent domain. Her butthole tightened up and she got the hell off my property. Reason #2, the MoveOn.org kooks that live a few houses down from me had her sign up in the primary. Reason enough for me.

Now when I went to vote one of the poll workers had their kid there, or maybe she was volunteering. Who the hell knows? What I do know was that while waiting for my turn to get disenfranchised by the electronic voting machine she said that if she were in charge “there would be no wars and everything would be cheaper.” It was at this time I said out loud to Mrs. kkk, “Thank God the young don’t vote.”

Wasn’t quite the same as telling a someone that their candidate can lick my nuts (another story for another time), but it’ll have to do.

UPDATE: Mission Accomplished. My two selections got in while the commie mommy is out. That’s the beauty of low-turnout elections. Your vote is that much more valuable.

The Trick’s On Me

So we got about 30-some trick-or-treaters last year. This caused the better half to go out to Sam’s Club this year and get a mega box of Twix. Guess how many visitors we got this Halloween?

Six.

By the time kid #4 showed up with only 45 minutes left of “official” trick-or-treat time, I was giving out 3-4 candy bars at a time. And these aren’t the stupid “fun size” bars either — these are the no-fun parcels which actually contain more product than wrapper. Seriously, “fun size”? How do they get away with that shit? For me, “fun size” would be 10 lbs worth of saturated fat and other chemicals that will send me to an early grave. But I digress.

..actually, I really wasn’t going any further with this. I guess I could talk about Halloween “curfews.” I don’t remember having to be inside at a certain time. I trick-or-treated until I couldn’t walk anymore. There was no “time limit.” And in my day I trick-or-treated 20 miles each way. Uphill. In the snow.

Damn kids and their video games today.