KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for January 5th, 2010

3D? Not 4 Me

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So I guess I could make a “3-D = Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest” crack, but I’ll just let the story speak for itself.

Two major cable networks—ESPN and Discovery—will beam 3-D entertainment into peoples’ homes for the first time.

Riding one of the next big waves in consumer electronics, Disney Co.-owned ESPN says it will have a 3-D channel for broadcasting live sports events in time for the FIFA World Cup soccer match on June 11.

The channel will not operate 24 hours a day, but plans at least 85 live events in its first year.

I guess the point of starting out with the World Cup is to work out the kinks before moving on to the football and baseball games of the Boo-Yah Network.

If you’re going to have 3-D programing, can you at least start out with the WOMEN’S World Cup?

And if this thing does take off, thank God Peter Gammons is now with the MLB Network. Then again, there’s always Lou Holtz to look forward to … in 3-D~!!! I’m sure viewing the former Golden Domer head coach in HD is more than enough for anyone.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 5, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Posted in Sports

Perplexing Pudding

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So if the great snow-shoveling episode was too much for you to take, I’d skip over this one.

After the kkk driveway was cleared (for now, damn you Mother Nature), and a few other tasks were accomplished, Mrs. kkk decided to make herself some pudding. In an attempt to be calorie-conscious, she wanted to look up the nutritional value of skim milk in my calorie/fat/carb/etc.-counting book. Now granted this information is on the actual CONTAINER that the milk is in, but whatever. She noted that “breast milk” is accounted for in my calorie/fat/carb/etc.-counting book. I guess babies and pervs need to watch their nutritional intake as well, but I digress.

Once she found out this information (90 calories, 0 fat, 13 carbs, 0 fiber — yes, I know this information by heart), she then had another question for me.

“The pudding box had nutritional information if you’re using 2% milk. How do you figure it out for skim milk?”

Unfortunately, my answer was also in the form of a question.

“You’re serious?”

You use two cups of milk for a box of pudding. There are four servings in a box. Two cups of milk is 180 calories, which comes out to 45 calories per serving. You add that to the 100 calories each serving of pudding contains. Her response?

“My pudding snacks are less. I don’t want this.”

Well that’s 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 5, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Posted in Life

Get Out Your Snow Shovels

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So here is a brief glimpse into the life of kkk.

I went grocery shopping last night. The better half was feeling “dizzy” and didn’t want to shovel the driveway. I got home, unpacked the groceries and by the time I was done it was too late to shovel. Today we got home from work at about 4:45 pm. She’s began bitching because she was again too late to shovel and another snowfall was soon expected. The following conversation took place. You figure out who’s who:

“Great. Now I can’t shovel the driveway.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. It’s almost 5.”

“So? I’ll do it with you.”

“It takes me AN HOUR to shovel the driveway.”

THIS is our driveway. (Note: This photo was taken on January 21, 2009.)

We take turns shoveling the driveway. IT DOES NOT TAKE AN HOUR TO SHOVEL THE DRIVEWAY.

Once we got home we fed the cats changed clothes and proceeded to go out and shovel. Before we did, I got some potatoes ready for a baking session. I normally cook potatoes at 450 for an hour, so I had the timer on right as we began our hour-long chore.

We shoveled the driveway and walkway in addition to salting everything we just plowed. As I was salting I noticed Mrs. kkk using the shovel to chip away at the little clumps of snow still on the driveway. The following conversation took place. You figure out who’s who:

“What are you doing?”

“Shoveling away this snow?”

“That’s what the salt is for.”

“But I want to get all the snow out off the driveway.”

“More snow is coming tonight. Jesus Christ, no wonder it takes you an hour to do this.”

We came back inside. The stove timer was set at 60:00 when we left to do this “hour-long” task. guess what the timer was at when we came back inside?

42:37…42:36…42:35…

Even if I wasn’t out there with her, it would have taken no more than 40 minutes to do all this. Then again, when you’re trying to get every last snowflake off the pavement, it may just take a full hour and then some.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 5, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Posted in Life

Food Stamp Of Approval

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So I’m currently listening to an archived broadcast of Dave Ramsey’s radio show. This woman is saying that her grandmother helped her out with groceries because granny uses coupons and gets items only on sale.

Granny better be teaching this chick how to do what she’s doing … granny did. Good.

Now this caller said she started a group to teach others how to clip coupons/buy items on sale. If I gave a shit about the human race, I might do something similar. For the record, I went out grocery shopping last night and stocked up on a bunch of shit — Spent $150 and saved $150. Granted there were a lot of overpriced Lean Cuisine things, but this is one of the few things the better half eats so I take what I can get.

Speaking of this, there was a recent article about how more people are using food stamps. Now I’ve got some opinions on this topic, but I found this part interesting:

Take Costco Wholesale Corp, a warehouse club operator that caters to middle income Americans who must pay $50 a year to shop in its stores. Nudged along by New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, who threatened legal action, Costco began accepting food stamps at a few New York stores in May. It now plans to clear the payments in all of its 413 locations in the United States and Puerto Rico.

“Our view was … we would not get a lot of food stamps because our member on average is a little more upscale,” Costco Chief Financial Officer Richard Galanti said in October. “Well, I think that was probably a little bit arrogant on our part.”

You know, if we’re going to give food stamps to people with 10 kids, why not allow them to shop at Sam’s or Costco? At the worst, it’d be a better value. Actually, I’d be open to having a program that allows people on food stamps to keep some of the money they save if they get items on sale AND use coupons for their transactions. Not only would it save taxpayer dollars, but also it might help some people with better money management skills. Then again, I’m sure there will be ways around this idea, and it will get exploited to no end by the underclass.

Oh well. I tried.

As I’m typing this, there’s another caller talking to Dave right now. Here’s his story. He wants to know how to get out of the following debt. He cosigned a loan so his 21-year-old brother could start up a restaurant. It flopped within a year. Now he’s on the hook for $45,000. The caller makes $24,000/year. His brother makes $20,000/year. Good Christ.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 5, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Posted in News

Cat Fight?

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So this morning while I was taking my daily shower the better half went out to the living room recliner where she has her morning glass of moo juice and waffle/cereal/whatever. Guess what she found?

Blood splattered on the recliner. Everywhere.

We checked the foursome.

Dessa threw a fit when we picked her up and examined her, but she always does that.

Max’s fur is slightly matted, but his fur is ALWAYS slightly matted (at best).

Bella had no traces of red on her, and with her white fur we would know if she had any.

JJ was … JJ. Once again, a dead-end lead.

Nobody had any cuts or gashes, and we couldn’t feel any scabs (or at least any that were fresh). There are three theories:

1) We heard Dessa yelling last night, which means someone was badgering her. Not an uncommon event by any means. However, what happens is she engages the other feline in the “paw swat of doom” where each them is a foot away from the other and their paw swinging doesn’t even come close to making contact.

2) Bella and Max were wrestling, but they usually do this on the floor or one of the couches — not the recliner.

3) Dessa got cut and hoped up onto the recliner, thus making her wound splatter on the recliner and part of the one sofa. Once again, there was no evidence that she was cut. In fact, nobody had any traces of blood on them ANYWHERE — not even on their claws.

The hell goes on in this house?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 5, 2010 at 9:21 am

Posted in Life