KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for January 6th, 2010

Shovel Snow? $20. Awesome Put-Down On Family Member? Priceless.

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So yesterday I told the riveting tale of shoveling snow from the driveway. Well today more of that white shit came down from God. God can be a real asshole sometimes.

The better half and I got home from work and no sooner than we got in the house this kid knocked on our front door and offered to shovel our driveway for $5. Seeing how I was in the bathroom with my reading material, Mrs. kkk immediately gave the go-ahead for this little capitalist to do his thing. There was one problem.

Other than our Scooby Doo piggy bank, we had nothing less than a $20 in the house.

After the kid was done with shoveling the driveway, which took less than FIFTEEN MINUTES (for those keeping score at home), Mrs. kkk asked him to do the walkway for an extra $5. When he was done with that she gave him the $20.

The following conversation then took place. You can figure out who’s who:

“So did you give him the $20?”

“Yes.”

“Who do you think you are? President Hussein giving out stimulus money?”

“No. If that was the case, I’d be giving the $20 to *insert name of crack-whore niece-in-law* for sitting on her ass all day doing nothing.”

Well played, my dear. I thought you were going to counter my Hussein remark with, “No, I gave away actual money I had.” You took the softball I lobbed you and crushed it out of the stadium.

And while Mrs. kkk said that extra $15 made this kid’s face beam from end-to-end, I can’t wait to see the ripple effect of lines of pre-teens with shovels or lawn mowers lined around our house every time there’s a snow fall or spring rain.

And speaking of the crack-whore niece-in-law, I heard today her cable is shut off. Again. But it’s not her fault.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 6, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Posted in Life

Tax Insurance To Provide Insurance

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Great idea, President Hussein. If we tax those with “high-end” health insurance plans, maybe they’ll have to drop their coverage and maybe one day we can all live like Katrina refugees.

President Hussein signaled to House Democratic leaders Wednesday that they’ll have to drop their opposition to taxing high-end health insurance plans to pay for health coverage for millions of uninsured Americans.

Yeah, because those richers are already rolling in dough. And we don’t take kindly to their types around here. I always get a kick about hearing how health insurance has to be taxed. We need people to have health insurance, so let’s tax those who already have it.

I’m telling you right now — pay off your debts ASAP and learn to live well below your means while this shit sandwich is still being prepared. God only knows what it’s going to look like once it plops down onto your plate.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 6, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Posted in News

David Stern Empties One Arena(s) — Or At Least His Bank Account

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So a few days ago I made a joke about the Gilbert Arenas gun situation. Now who’s laughing?

NBA commissioner David Stern has indefinitely suspended Gilbert Arenas, saying the Washington Wizards guard is “not currently fit to take the court” for a game. Stern says in a statement Wednesday that Arenas’ actions will “ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse.”

Because Arenas violated NBA rules by bringing guns into Washington’s locker room, Stern decided to punish Arenas now. He says the suspension begins immediately.

Stern says he originally planned to wait for the criminal investigation to be completed before taking action, and directed the Wizards to do the same.

I apply the Leonard Little test to this situation. Is bringing a gun to work worse than getting shit-faced, getting in a car an killing someone? I’d say no. Then give him Little received 90 days in jail, four years probation and 1,000 hours of community service — if even that.

I have no opinion on Gilbert. Guy was a good scorer. Got hurt a bunch. Made zany Internet comments. Of course it’s funny to hear today’s lineup of ESPN commentators react in HORROR at Gilbert’s actions. Especially since he did some stupid “bang bang” action with his fingers at a recent pre-game introduction after reading some hippie lawyer-made statement saying how sorry he was for the whole thing. Whatever. I don’t care.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 6, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Posted in Sports

Mel Being Mel

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So let’s see…

Movie trailer? Check.

Mel Gibson sighting? Check.

Mel getting tortured at 2:16? Check.

Once again proving that everything in life can be traced back to a South Park episode.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 6, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Posted in Entertainment