KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for January 7th, 2010

Hard To Swallow This Poll

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This is why I hate polls and people.

Most Americans want to lose weight, a new cBS News poll finds – but they do not favor a tax on junk food and do not believe that such a tax would help lower obersity.

Normally I’d stop reading and make some stupid joke like “In other new the sun rose in the East and is scheduled to set in the West,” but I just had to read on.

The poll results reveal that the vast majority of Americans believe that obesity can be controlled. They do not feel, however, that the government should be imposing a tax on the foods most likely to make them obese. Sixty percent say they oppose such a tax, while 38 percent say it’s a good idea.

Seventy-two percent of Americans surveyed in the new cBS News poll say that a tax on junk food would not help people lose weight. Just 26 percent say it would help them do so.

Nearly nine in ten Americans say obesity can be controlled, not through taxation but through diet and exercise. Just seven percent say people cannot control their level of obesity.

OK, so just about all Americans say that obesity can be controlled through diet and exercise. Now let’s go to this nugget…

And a majority of Americans – 55 percent – say they themselves would like to lose weight.

So 90 percent of those surveyed know how to lose weight, and half of them would like to lose weight. Well what’s stopping them? Self-control comes to mind. Nah, let’s put more taxes on Cheetos and Pepsi.

Say, I know what will make me want to go out there and exercise…

…actually, now I have a sudden desire to see Jack Tatum and Mel Blount out there patrolling the secondary.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 7, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Posted in News

CSI: Cat Scene Investigation

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So the other day I talked about how the living room recliner became the scene of a crime scene, yet the better half and I had no clue as to what the hell happened. Later on that day, Mrs. kkk brought up the theory of perhaps a rodent got into the house and was “foreclosed” upon. I guess it made sense. None of the cats were cut up, and then the better half dropped this bombshell.

“I heard squeaking the last few nights while in bed.

And where was I during all this?

Couple this piece of timely information with the fact Bella was meowing rather loudly as I laid down to sleep the night of the blood splattering, which is something she normally doesn’t do, and now the pieces are coming together. And speaking of pieces, if the better half’s theory was correct that meant we had a carcass to look for upon returning home from work. W00t~!

When we arrived home, we got out the flashlights and started looking for heads, tails and everything in-between. In many ways it felt like a horror movie. Was the severed head under the … RECLINER? Nope. How about under the … COUCH? Nada. Say, what’s this in my … SHOE? Nothing.

We looked in every crevice imaginable and then some to no fruition. The hell … they ate the ENTIRE ANIMAL? Now we give them scheduled feedings with limited food but they’re not starving, even though they like to act the part.

Will this groovy mystery every be solved? Well we haven’t seen any body parts in the litter box, and there really hasn’t been any godawful stench, so I’m afraid we’ll never know.

And here’s a picture of the recliner after the first wave of Resolve was used.

And here’s the MS Paint chalk around where the blood was at — you can even still see some traces within the two bottom middle outlines.

And for the record, this isn’t the first disgusting liquid excreted from the cats onto this piece of furniture. JJ even has a talent for throwing up his food the next feeding following a carpet vacuuming session.

Now the final question is: Whodunit?

Here are the suspects and my judgments.

Max (standing): Too lazy. When we’re playing with another cat with a toy that requires movement he goes on his side and paws the feather/string if it comes within an inch of him.

JJ (sitting): Too stupid. He wouldn’t know what to do if a potential meal walked up to him and laid in his food dish.

Max: Remember when I said “too lazy”?

Bella: She might have the potential to do so, but there was not a speck of red on her. Besides, she has a small frame and I’m sure she would have some scratches or something on her as well.

This leads us up to the bitch on the left…

…I totally believe she would be capable of doing something like this. In the past when Dessa would be outside with the better half on the porch she would pounce on stupid-ass birds that would land DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HER. If it wasn’t for Mrs. kkk’s intervention those birds wouldn’t have to worry about passing their inferior genes to future generations.

Guilty as charged.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 7, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Posted in News