KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for January 10th, 2010

Artie Lange Missed The Final Cut

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So even though the headline says it all, here’s the story anyway.

Confirming a New York Post report of earlier this week, police have told AP that self-inflicted stab wounds are what put Howard Stern radio show sidekick Artie Lange in a New Jersey hospital.

Hoboken Police Detective Mark Competello says Lange’s mother found him on the floor of his home on Saturday. Competello says the 42-year-old comedian was unconscious but breathing after stabbing himself with a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife. Doctors at Jersey City Medical Center cleaned nine abdominal knife wounds and operated. He says Lange has been released.

I haven’t turned into the Howard Stern show since around 2004, so I’m not sure if he’s toned down his shtick. After hearing some of his recent audio clips on YouTube, my guess would be no. However, this brings up an interesting topic: Is it OK to make tasteless jokes about someone who makes his living dishing out tasteless jokes at others?

Some people say “yes.” Some people say “no.” I fall into the former category, but at one time I was in this type of situation. I am a big believer in “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it,” and a few years ago I had to decide whether or not to taste my own medicine.

Two years ago the better half suffered a miscarriage, and for the most part I kept this quiet at the message boards I frequent. I wasn’t doing this out of “fear” of being the butt-end of a joke, but I do believe that if you don’t want something to be mocked, then you shouldn’t put it out there for people to read and comment. And this one message board was a brutal one. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: Years back a member started a thread about his mother who died from cancer. The first reply to this thread?

*Unzips pants.*

Yeah.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh.

To my surprise when I made this part of my life known to this message board, nobody made a smart-ass comment. However, if one would have been made I wouldn’t have expressed OUTRAGE. I would have hoped the offending joke would have at least been funny.

Where am I going with this? Who the hell knows. But here’s another line I try to live by: “If you can’t laugh at yourself then you shouldn’t laugh at others.” This is why when I made my miscarriage announcement at said message board I started out by saying, “kkk Jr. found out what was in store for her and off’d herself in the womb.”

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 10, 2010 at 6:53 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Car Collision

with 2 comments

So this story is a few days old, but I wanted to cool down a bit before putting this into words.

I have to give a little backstory. Whenever our region experiences inclement weather, the better half will let me know. A lot. I wake up for work and take a shower. She gets up, examines our road, tells me if it’s plowed or not, watches the local television news, and tells me the traffic reports and school closings. This usually goes on every few minutes until I say the following:

“Do you want us to go into work today?”

I ask this because we carpool. She always then gives me the same answer.

“It’s up to you.”

If I say, “Well then we’ll go into work,” then she will continue to give me the traffic/closing reports until I ask “Do you want to go into work today?” again. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. This goes on until “I” finally decide to stay home. Then, months later, whenever I make a remark about my remaining vacation time, Mrs. kkk ALWAYS makes the following comment: “Well you wanted to take off work that snow day.”

OK, with all this being said, let’s go back to Friday.

The weather’s been crappy in the Shittsburgh region for the past week or so. Nothing like other parts of the country but crappy nevertheless. We had expected to get a bit of snow Thursday night/Friday morning, and when I got up 5 am Friday I looked out the window, saw the white shit on the ground and went back to bed. Our road wasn’t plowed, and there was no way we were going anywhere until that happens.

I woke up at around 8 and Mrs. kkk was already up. I made some comment about if she wants to stay home and she began telling me how the roads were plowed and salted. The reason? She had to go into work today to finish up some report. Truth be told, so did I . However, it was odd having her be the one to say, “Sure the weather is crappy but I still want to go into work.”

So I showered, ate breakfast and got in the Suzuki to head off to our respective workplaces. We left at around 9:15 and I didn’t know what to expect. Were there going to be backups? Slippery roads? Accidents? To my surprise, the commute was very pleasant. Nobody was on the road. The roads themselves weren’t dangerous to drive. I’m not sure if it was because we left later and avoided the rush-hour congestion or if everyone just stayed home, but we got into Shittsburgh in record time for a weekday.

As I dropped off Mrs. kkk I headed out to the interstate to continue my drive to my job. In order to get on the interstate I have to be in the second-to-left lane out of a four-lane roadway. I got to the last stoplight when suddenly I heard a loud BOOM!

Someone hit my fucking car.

Basically, some woman in the far left lane, which was a turning lane, came into my lane and struck my driver’s side back door. Needless to say I wasn’t in the most pleasant of moods. For those that don’t know, let me take you a trip down memory lane when it comes to cars driven by those in the kkk household.

2003: Mrs. kkk gets plowed into by a woman in an SUV. The better half’s six-month-old Cavalier was only a few hundred dollars away from being totaled. Our insurance dictated that the car had to be repaired. The only place we were told that could do this were the asshats at Kenny Ross Chevrolet. They did a shit job and just under five years later we learned this care was destroyed on the inside. I don’t feel like going into detail about our further experiences with the poo-flinging monkeys at Kenny Ross Chevrolet, but lets just say if President Hussein were to close this particular branch of Government Motors, I would hold off on the birth certificate jokes for at least a week.

2008: The better half was driving the in-laws and the in-law mobile when another cunt driving in the opposite direction wanted to pass the motorist in front of her, went into the better half’s lane and struck the in-law mobile head-on. Oh, and shortly after this incident kkk Jr., who was about a month in the womb, died.

Did I mention in both cases NOTHING happened to the other motorists. No points. No fines. No nothing.

So when this most recent reckless motorist make a remark to me about all the damage her vehicle suffered I rolled my eyes and paid it no mind. There isn’t much outside damage to the kkk mobile, other than some scratches and dents. Truth be told, I don’t give a shit about the physical appearance of the car. What worries me is if there’s any damage underneath. On Tuesday the car will be getting inspected and some paint will be applied. Depending on the price, this will either be paid by the other motorist or through their insurance.

This is why I drive like a little old lady. I figure there are enough assholes on the road, and even when I drive as defensively as I can, sometimes there’s not a goddamn thing you can do. As I said elsewhere, this other driver could have flown through the windshield and impaled herself on her hood ornament and wouldn’t have batted an eye. The funny thing about this is that the weather had NOTHING to do with this. She tried to use that as an excuse, but the roads were fine.

However, with all that said, there is one silver lining.

When I was driving the better half home Friday afternoon, she started making fun of me for “wrecking the car.” I then said, “Well YOU were the one who wanted to come into work today.”

Game. Set. Match.

But the best part? She said later she actually felt guilty. God bless the Catholic church.

Oh, here’s a pic of the “damage.”

As I said before, I don’t really see any external damage. The better half says she sees a dent, but I don’t. There’s some tiny scratches and we would want those painted up due to rusting concerns. However, what I’m concerned about is if anything was damaged underneath. I am not about to let someone smack into the paid-off, 16-month old car, not see any exterior damage and say, “Oh, that’s OK. Accidents happen.” I also forgot to mention that the crack-whore niece-in-law and her crack-whore mother have both been involved in auto accidents and have completely fucked over the other motorists — I know what’s out there already. No way I’m putting my faith in humanity.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 10, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Posted in Life

Baltimoron For A Day — Or At Least For Three Hours

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As someone who was born and raised in Yinzer Nation (that’s Stillers country for those not in the know; and that’s Steelers country for those REALLY not in the know), I am facing the question of my time. Do I pull for the Baltimorons or do I cheer for the Massholes this WiLd CaRd WeEkEnD? What’s a yinzer to do?

Here’s a hint as to my three-hour allegiance: I’m LOVING this first quarter.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

January 10, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Posted in Sports