KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for February 6th, 2010

Snowtorious B.I.G.

with 5 comments

Well God must have felt frisky and decided to belt my redneck of the woods with one helluva money shot.

After I woke up at about 9 am, I put on my glasses and took a look out the living room window.


Now even though it’s STILL COMING DOWN let’s measure what we already have.

And for those of you (like me) that want nothing to do with fancy smancy numbers and measurements, here’s another indicator.

Yet another reason cats are smarter than dogs. While our brood didn’t move from their warm indoor spots all morning, the neighbor’s dog was having a blast outside. Wish we could harness a shovel on him and let the pooch go to town.

Hey, didn’t there used to be steps here?

I don’t know because I couldn’t feel them when I floated down this white valley.

Actually, I’m guessing the experience I had when “walked down” these “steps” would be a similar feeling one would get if they were walking in outer space — Minus the wet socks and numbness, of course. It was a pretty fun experience.

But that fun was short-lived.

You got to be kidding me? Not even half-way done yet? Time for the better half and I to do some role-playing. I’ll play supervisor and she can play migrant worker.

Well that looks neat.

And while we were shoveling we saw a branch from a neighbor’s tree collapse. I then took note of a few other trees that were awfully … close to the powerlines. Well when my power goes out I’ll know whose ass to kick.

After 90 minutes … Mission Accomplished.

Hey, look. Steps.

After we shoveled the driveway, I took a step back and noted the half-assed job we did in moving the snow off the driveway. I decided to call the right bunker “Lazy Man’s Curve.”

And finally, if you ever decide to buy a house, get one with enough garages for your vehicles. You’ll thank me later.

And finally, at about 2 pm I got a call from my idiot mother who asked if we were all “OK” and that she heard our region got hit hard with snow. You think? My response, being the horrible son that I am, was, “It’s just snow. We’re fine.” She then began saying some gibberish which I was only half-paying attention to before replying, “if things get really bad, we’ll eat one of the cats.” She didn’t find it amusing but I found it funny as hell. (For God’s sake: It’s SNOW! It’s not like it rained acid and blew glass shards.)

Then later on this afternoon the sun came out. I guess God really does have a sense of humor.

Here were two more random thoughts from this whole experience.

1) Thank Christ I don’t get along with my neighbors. As Mrs. kkk and I were wrapping up our morning exercise, several other neighbors came out to start their digging. Good thing none of you people bother talking to us or else we might have felt obligated to help you all out.

2) One of our neighbors had an enterprising kid shovel their driveway. This got me the thinking of an awesome business enterprise.

Step One: Have some kid all bundled up carrying a shovel going door-to-door offering his (or HER!) shoveling services.

Step Two: The home-owner, who will feel bad that one little kid with a crappy shovel will be shoveling for hours, will pay top dollar out of sympathy.

Step Three: Once the transaction is done, the kid’s father will appear with a snow blower/plow and get the job down in a fraction of time.

The kid made top dollar with little effort and can peddle his wares to houses all up and down the block.

Damn I love capitalism.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

February 6, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Posted in Life