KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for June 28th, 2010

Needing To Check My Mail On Da Real

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So today I cleaning the office and finally getting organized and for the second half of the year. One thing I noted was that we were out of marketing materials. About a month or so again the client went with a new company logo (again), and this meant all prior marketing materials had to be pitched. Of course now this leaves me with nothing to use. It was at this time I noted there was a box that had been buried with a bunch of other boxes I just relocated.

This box came a few weeks ago. It came from the client. It was unopened.

Take a wild guess at what was in this box? Yep. Marketing materials. With the new company logo.

You know, it would sure be helpful if I bothered to open the non-ticking packages sent to my office once in a while.

I need a good kick in the ass sometimes. It was one of those situations where you say to yourself, “Those assholes didn’t send what I asked them to send me a month ago,” and then you realize you’re the schmuck. Reminds me a bit when I used to play basketball and someone would take an ill-advised shot. You go, “What the fu….” right as the shot went through the hoop.

“Good shot, Jeff.”

Yeah.

Wow, this was a lame entry. Might as well pimp what’s being played in the CD player.

Normally, I would criticize the fact Big Mike used the same beat in a previous song he did…

…but not on this one. God I love this beat. The synthesizer sound sounds like something you might hear in an Atari game, but it works so damn well in this case. And the story-telling in each effort is solid. I’m such a sucker for this type of rhyming; where an artist came from and where he hopes to go.

Fool, what you think this is?
I’m 22 and I been trying to stack bank for years
Huh, and in my dreams I seen
That life ain’t all about makin’ money and havin’ yo face on the scene
It’s about bein comfortable, takin care of yours
And that’s what I’m strivin for
And with God on my side
Ain’t none of that hard to find
And that’s on the real

Peep game when it’s spit.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 28, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Posted in Life

Not Flip-Flopping On This Issue

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I am the LAST PERSON on this earth to make comments about the fashion choices of others. My summer workplace wardrobe consists of several pairs of oversized mesh shorts and several pairs of oversized blank shirts (pocket protector sleeve included). I don’t care. Who the hell am I dressing up for anyway? Besides, you provide an office with no air conditioning then I’m dressing for comfort.

But dark denim jeans and flip-flops in 80+ degree weather and heavy humidity? I don’t get it.

And speaking of sandals, I hate those things. I probably wore a pair or two as a kid, but this kind of footwear is something you will NEVER see me wearing. You know how you are never supposed to say never? I’m saying never.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 28, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Posted in Life

Thirteenth Verse, Same As The First — With Five Under God’s Approval

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So Friday was my five-year wedding anniversary, and the 13-year anniversary of when the better half and I first met. And what did we do for this oh-so-special day?

I went to work, came home, exercised, showered, ate dinner and putzed around the house.

Mrs. kkk was at the local amusement park with her parents, the three normal nieces/nephews, the crack-whore niece-in-law and her kid. It’s an annual outing the mother-in-law has at this particular amusement park, and Mrs. kkk didn’t get back until 12:30 am Saturday morning. Why didn’t I go? I’m already blowing several vacation days with a July trip to another amusement park out of state. Gotta ration those vacation days. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t go — that would have mean someone would have played the role of third wheel. But more on that later…

Here’s why I’m an awesome husband. I didn’t care Mrs. kkk and I were apart for this day. Oh, I had some fun with how late she got home. When the better half woke up at 11 am Saturday morning, I yelled out, “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!” Her response?

“Oh shut up. You had nothing planned anyway.”

“How do you know? Maybe I slaved all evening planning a romantic dinner. Maybe I got tickets to … someplace … and was waiting for you to get your ass home.”

“You said our trip to Cedar Point (in July) with the kids was also going to be our anniversary present.”

“I did?”

“Yes.”

“…”

Yeah, the honeymoon is pretty much over.

But back to why I’m an awesome husband. The entire time she was out I didn’t call or ask when she was coming home. I don’t care. Her mother, on the other hand. Jesus Christ.

Here was the plan. Mrs. kkk was taking the three normal nieces/nephew with her in one care. Her parents were taking the crack-whore niece-in-law/kid in their car. Of course the crack-whore wasn’t ready, and the latter group only stayed at the amusement park for THREE HOURS because the crack-whore was sick/tired/etc. Yeah, that was $60+ worth of tickets well spent. So instead of being a rational human being, my mother-in-law stayed home and called Mrs. kkk several times asking when she was returning to the house. Here’s the best part. The better half got yelled at for having the kids out that late and for HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Now let me go back to the topic of anniversaries. They’re stupid. You’re (presumably) with someone for 364 days in a row. What’s the point in celebrating that one day a year? EVERY DAY should be like an anniversary date.

Sorry. Couldn’t say that one with a straight face.

Let me try again. An anniversary is … ah fuck it. I’m a terrible person.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 28, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Posted in Life

Free Crest — That’s The (Concert) Ticket

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OK, now it’s time for more exciting stories of kkk and the grocery store. Because these tales do so well with the focus groups.

I went to the store. I got stuff, including more toothpaste. More on that later.

Mrs. kkk had a “computer screen glare” headache for most of the day, so I was hoping she was sleeping when I returned home. That way I could sneak these two tubes of Crest in with the rest of the gang. It was the perfect plan, right?

She was sitting on the basement/first-floor steps the moment I walked in with the first wave of grocery bags. Why? Because she had an important question to ask me. She’s taking her one niece (not the crack-whore) to the December Justin Bieber concert and had a question for me. Each year we budget $30 for each niece/nephew’s birthday present and $50 for each Christmas present. These Bieber tickets were to cost $80-$100 each, and the seats were in the way-far-back section. However, there were other seats that were more expensive, closer to the stage. In addition, there are some other stupid perks — posters, autographs, I dunno. I started tuning out.

When she asked me what she should do, I said, “I don’t care. Will the better seats be worth the extra month you work at the pizza shop?” (Mrs. kkk works a weekend job for extra money, and anything she makes she keeps for herself instead of putting it in our “general fund.”)

“Gee, thanks,” was her answer, and then the following conversation took place:

“That better not be more toothpaste you’re holding.”

“No. *I show the two boxes of Tabasco sauce in my hands.* The toothpaste is in one of the bags.”

“Oh goddamnit. What did I tell you last time?”

“I only got two.”

“You have problems. You know that?”

“They were FREE. $1.50 each. $1.50 coupon.”

“You’re giving me another headache.”

“I could have got a third tube for $0.50, but I didn’t.”

“You buy any more goddamn toothpaste I’m going to start going to the grocery store with you.”

A weak bluff if there ever was one.

Oh, and she going with the more expensive tickets. Whatever. I’m going to laugh if the niece is over this Bieber kid by year’s end.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

June 28, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Posted in Life