KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for July 2010

Trade-offs

with 4 comments

So the MLB trade deadline came and went. I have no idea who most of the players were that moved around from team to time, but there’s one thing I did notice.

The Pirates didn’t make that many deals — one or two from what I heard; I don’t care enough to actually look this information up. Guess their roster of serviceable players finally bottomed out. Or that the Bucco farm system is already chalk full of young talent just waiting to get up into the big leagues.

Yeah, anyway. It’s funny to me how the only time the national media comment on the Pirates is during the trading deadline when players are getting plucked by real teams gearing up for a postseason push.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 31, 2010 at 11:35 pm

Posted in Sports

Snookered

with 3 comments

I have heard more about this Snooki person in the past 24 hours than I have since, well, ever. Jersey what?

President Hussein has not heard of Snooki, but New Jersey police certainly have after arresting the “Jersey Shore” reality TV star on Friday, on a charge of disorderly conduct.

Snooki, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, 22, was arrested in Seaside Heights on the New Jersey shore while filming the hit TV series, and she was later released from custody with a summons to appear in court, police said.

“Nicole Polizzi was acting in a disorderly manner while located on the beach,” Seaside Heights Chief of Police Thomas Boyd said in a statement. “Ms. Polizzi was escorted from the beach by (officers) then placed under arrest for the charge of disorderly conduct.”

And here’s more Snooki.

First, Snooki took on the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher over Twitter. Then, the Non-Dialect Negro said he didn’t even know who she was. And on Thursday night’s second season premiere of MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” Snooki took the ball back and went after America’s Top Imam again.

In one scene, Snooki — with her impressively orange tan — broke the shocking news that she’s been staying away from her home away from home: Tanning salons.

“I don’t go tanning anymore because Osama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. [Sen. John] McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he’s pale and would probably want to be tan,” she said.

OK, now that made me laugh. Here’s the rest of the story.

Snooki was referring to a provision in the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act that mandates tanning salons impose a 10 percent tax on UV-ray sessions.

Clearly, the Pile of Kenyan Afterbirth can’t relate to Snooki’s problems, she added, commenting on the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s skin color.

“Hussein doesn’t have that problem. Obviously,” she said.

And now we get into some CONTROVERSY~!!!

The Occupant in the White House has been caught in a contradiction. Asked about Jersey Shore star Snooki on The View today, Kenya’s Favorite Son replied, “I don’t know who that is.” But two months ago he knew who she was!

Asked for his opinion on Snooki (who voted for John McCain) the Muslim Wookie Fucker claimed ignorance. But two months ago he dropped Snooki’s name in a White House Press Correspondents Dinner punchline about a health care provision named in honor of the hit MTV show. “It [the provision] reads, ‘The following individuals shall be excluded from the indoor tanning tax within this bill: Snooki, JWOWW, The Situation and House minority leader John Boehner.'” So which is it, Hussein? Do you know Snooki, or don’t you? Clearly, this is the Watergate of our time, and America demands an answer.

The sad thing is my local RIGHT-WING RADIO guy was actually commenting on this story, and I don’t think he was joking. I’ll give President Hussein the benefit of the doubt on this one; I think it’s fair to say that the above-mentioned joke was written for him, and he probably had no idea what he was saying. Hell, he probably relies on teleprompters in order to talk dirty to Chewbacca’s Sister. (Then again, I probably would need a script, too, if I was in that situation, not to mention a bag over the wookie’s head and a bag on my jimmy.)

When I’m defending the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher, you know it’s bad.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2010 at 11:33 pm

Posted in Entertainment

I Propose That Men And Women Come From Other Worlds

with 5 comments

So earlier today my one co-worker, who is out on vacation, was proposed to by her lesser half. She of course then called my assistant at work because those two are now BFFs or something. I of course was in the assistant’s office when the call took place, and right away I knew what had happened. Let’s compare and contrast reactions.

The assistant: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

Me: *shoulder shrug.*

Mars/Venus blahblahblah.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 30, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Posted in Life

Top KK’s Korner Searches For 7/29/10

with 2 comments

let me play you the song of my people vu
haters gonna hate vuvuzela
dirty wookie
k-k-s tape
kk’s sucks
bill cowher and kordell stewart’s sister
nazi wookie
blow down here vuvuzela shirt

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Posted in Top Searches

Tech? No!

with 6 comments

You know, it’s funny. I used to make fun of my college professors for having all these degrees but yet not knowing how to operate the classroom VCR, and I’ve been at my job for two-and-a-half years and STILL don’t know how to operate the !@#$%^&*() window blinds. Hmmm, let’s see what else I don’t know shit about.

Well, I can’t text or do anything on a cell phone other than basic calls. Actually, I know how to text; I just don’t bother. (At least I think I know how to text; well I did so once before. Don’t ask how long it took me to complete or how many times I made the attempt.)

The better half and I couldn’t figure out how to set the clock in my 1988 Chevy Corsica. I think the clock was off by an hour and forty minutes, so I just did the math in my head whenever I wanted to know the time. It took several years before my 10-year-old nephew-in-law finally fixed it for us. You think I’m making this up?

What else… well, I don’t program any stuff on the microwave. However, I do cook some things like bacon on at a lower power setting so it doesn’t burn.

Oh, dishwashers. I hate those things. About 20 years ago I tired one out and flooded the kitchen floor. Haven’t used one since.

Well, that’s about all I can think of for now. Makes me wonder what other technology I’ll be loathing a generation from now.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 29, 2010 at 9:09 pm

Posted in Life

This Way T.O. Cincinnati

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Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens.

On the same team.

On the Cincinnati Bengals.

Bengals.com and ProFootballTalk reported that the Cincinnati Bengals have agreed to a one-year contract with the free agent wide receiver.

On his Twitter page, Owens said, “Hoping 2 b a Bengal w/in the 24hrs!!”

Team president Mike Brown had said earlier this week that he was interested in signing Owens. The receiver’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus, said earlier Tuesday that he was talking with the Bengals and expected to complete a deal for Owens to join a team by Thursday.

The Bengals open training camp on Wednesday.

Pinch me, I’m dreaming.

I am so psyched. I actually kinda like both players, and it will be fun to see their hijinx on and off the field. And if things go bad, it will be even MORE entertaining.

I’ve always liked Johnson and his antics (for the most part). And with ESPN’s visceral hatred of Owens, I’ve turned into a fan of his through some “enemy of my enemy is my friend” type stuff.

With the way the Steelers defense is looking this year, I am curious to see what these two do with Shittsburgh’s famed TeRrIbLe ToWeL~!!!

I know it will be more creative than this.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 28, 2010 at 9:01 pm

Posted in Sports

Crazy Stat For A Crazy State

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So I read the following headline:

One In Five Californians Say They Need Mental Health Care

ONLY one in five?

Here are the first few paragraphs of the story if you care. (I know I don’t.)

Almost 5 million California adults say they could use help with a mental or emotional problem, according to a survey released Wednesday by researchers at UCLA. About 1 million of them meet the criteria for “serious psychological distress.”

However, only one in three people who perceive a need for mental health services or are in serious distress have seen a professional for treatment, the survey found.

The survey was conducted among more than 44,000 adults as part of the 2005 California Health Interview Survey, administered through the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research. Since the survey was conducted, the recession probably has contributed to worsening mental health for even more people, said the lead author of the study, David Grant.

And now we get to the point several paragraphs later.

“The findings also demonstrate a crucial need for continued efforts to expand mental-health services and to meet threats to such services caused by the ongoing state budget crisis in Sacramento; reduced state funding for local mental health programs and public insurance programs could be devastating to hundreds of thousands of Californians with mental health needs,” the authors wrote.

Makes me wonder what people did back in the day when head-shrinkers weren’t available along the wagon trails.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

July 28, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Posted in News