Not Throwing In The Towel With My Dislike Of This Etiquette Rule

So I’m sending a pair of Terrible Towels to a friend’s two kids. Don’t know what a Terrible Towel is? Don’t ask. The kids are Steeler fans and live out of state. Why am I doing this? I’m hoping this will get their MILF’s panties wet. I’m that nice a guy. Why am I talking about this? Because if I didn’t mention the backstory, you probably wouldn’t understand why I’m about to post the following conversation. You can figure out who’s who.

“Forgot to mention this. My only rule: Don’t have your kids write any kind of ‘thank you’ note. I hate that shit. I doubt you would do this anyway because you lack almost as much tact as me, but just pretend the Steeler fairy put these under their pillows.”

“Hahahahahahahahha. I’m totally gonna make them do it. But via facebook.”

“I just always thought that was stupid. Kids don’t f’n care and those letters are so phony. It’s like saying ‘thank you’ when you get socks at Christmas knowing full well you don’t care and just want to speed up the process to get to the really big presents under the Christmas tree.”

Well it’s true.