KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for April 2011

Back Eating Out

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Last night the better half and I went to Outback Steakhouse; I was there for the first time. Meh. Actually, this year Mrs. kkk and I have been eating better so I just had some grilled chicken dish. It’s food. I eat it. The end. Actually, this was the second time this month we ate out. The first time was when went to the pseudo-Blue Collar comedy concert and had dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse. Of course, I actually had a small dish of Ravioli instead of some 5,000-calorie dish. Other than these two instances, I can’t remember the last time we ate out, so I guess that’s good.

But why am I writing about this? Because this white trash family across from us were bitching abut their food. Now whenever this sort of thing transpires, I try to listen in for my own amusement. Problem was the place was packed and couldn’t make out what exactly happened. But once again it got me the thinking if the welfare trash that throw an absolute fit at a restaurant because the steak is too over/under-cooked have the same demanding culinary tastes at home. Like when the hotdog explodes in the microwave or when the chicken pot pie is freezing in one section and boiling in another, do they beat their kids because there isn’t a waitress to harass?

The boyfriend/husband wore sunglasses the entire time, and they took the rest of the food home with them. Guess the grub couldn’t have been THAT bad. And of course they left a huge mess at their table and didn’t leave a tip. You know, if I ever owned a restaurant I’d make it so that I approve who gets to be serviced. I see you and know you’ll be throwing a shit fit because there wouldn’t be enough ice cubes in your beverage glass — keep on walking.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 30, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Posted in Life

Good Start To The Weekend

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While driving through Pittsburgh earlier today, I noted that the NRA people are starting to come in — it’s not everyday I see multiple Texas and Wyoming plates on my home home from work. I also noted that the college students from the University of Pittsburgh, among other schools, are starting to move out.

Things are looking better already.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Posted in Life

Hats Off To The Bride/Groom

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When I hear the co-workers say to each other, “OMG OMG DID YOU SEE IT (the wedding)?” that tells me it’s time to close my office door.

I don’t hold any ill will toward the parties involved. I just don’t care. At least on the bright side of things, those goofy hats these chicks are wearing — across the Pond and over here — can be used again when the Kentucky Derby rolls around next month.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Posted in News

Sandwiched Between Two Special Interests

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Earlier this week I commented on the NRA holding its national convention in my neck of the woods. There’s actually a pseudo-story that deals with one of our local restaurants and some DRAMUH~!

Primanti Bros. will stuff a lot into sandwiches, but not politics.

Officials at the Pittsburgh institution were “completely caught by surprise” Tuesday by claims from gun supporters that the sandwich shop is anti-firearms and should be boycotted during this weekend’s giant National Rifle Association convention Downtown. The claims were based upon photos a gun-control group posted of a visit to their Strip District location in February, in which they mugged for the camera with restaurant employees.

“We’re sandwich makers,” said Primanti’s operations director Marc Teklinski. “People always come down to our Strip District location and engage our staff. It’s not uncommon to take photos with the staff. It’s innocent.”

He noted their locations also have staff photos with conservatives John McCain and Glenn Beck — Mr. Beck wheeled out 400 of their sandwiches in a nationally broadcast speech from the Benedum Center in December — as well as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Primanti Bros., famous for sandwiches with fries and cole slaw piled on the meat, has been in Pittsburgh for 78 years. With an estimated 1 million NRA members in the vicinity of the city, and many more gun owners and hunters who do not belong to the group in their customer base, it probably would have been known long ago if the famous franchise was anti-gun. The current charge comes just days before the convention draws about 65,000 people into the city with their estimated $23.7 million in spending.

Pittsburgh was also a stop in February by Fix Gun Checks, a group co-founded by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg that is on a nationwide tour to promote stronger background checks for gun purchases. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is a supporter.

During its stop in the city, officials stopped by Primanti Bros. and parked a truck saying “34 Americans Are Murdered With Guns Every Day” by the parking lot. It then posted several pictures with restaurant employees (some of them donning red Fix Gun Checks T-shirts), and others with Gun Check advocates working behind the counter.

The pro-firearms blog Snowflakes In Hell posted the pictures Monday under the title “Avoiding Anti-Gun Food in Pittsburgh.” It warned NRA members against going to the restaurant, saying, “Know that if you spend your money at Primanti Bros., you’re supporting a company that supports Bloomberg’s work to restrict our rights.”

With so many gun owners around Pittsburgh, many readers on the site were familiar with Primanti Bros. and upset by the charges. “I love their sandwiches but they won’t be getting any of my money any more,” one poster wrote. “I will truly miss the once obligatory tradition of dining at Primanti Bros. in my Pittsburgh visits,” wrote another. Another suggested leafleting the restaurants to warn NRA members against patronizing them.

The charge was picked up by other pro-gun blogs, such as the Pittsburgh-based “Lost and Found,” which had placed Primanti Bros. on top of its list of places to eat during the convention. There are two locations Downtown.

“Due to their active support of Bloomberg’s anti-gun club, I can’t recommend Primanti Bros. Their food is very good but it is definitely not the only place in town,” the site said Tuesday.

The whole thing is dumb, but whatever. Actually, if anyone was planning on robbing a place of business this weekend, Primanti’s might be the place if this “boycott” actually takes place.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Posted in News

To Round Reshuffle Or Set Seeds In Stone?

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So I’m watching the NBA/NHL playoffs this year, as I always do in the spring, and I got the thinking. What makes the better playoff — automatic reseeding after every round like the NHL or brackets set in stone like the NBA?

After much thought, and 30 seconds later, I decided that while I like set brackets better, automatic reseeding gives a bigger reward to the teams that had the better regular-season record. This in turn actually makes the regular season more relevant.

Even though I wouldn’t mind automatic reseeding for the NBA or NHL, I’d keep the brackets set for March Madness. For obvious reasons, of course.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 27, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Posted in Sports

Having A Blast This Weekend

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A note to my fellow Yinzer motorists. With this weekend’s NRA convention coming up, there will be a lot of out-of-towners unfamiliar with our local road ways. A word of advice: Be careful who you give the finger to for the next couple of days.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 26, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Posted in Life

Wedding Pains

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So I heard on the news this morning a list of some potential Royal Wedding crashers for Friday’s big event:

IRA
Al-qaeda
organized anarchists (whatever that means)

Pft.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name deal with my family and the crack-whore sister-in-law.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name get a call from my father-in-law the day before the wedding (and two weeks after RSVPs were due) asking if it was too late to add 8 additional people, saying that “you know our family doesn’t do RSVPs.”

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name almost miss the actual ceremony because the groom was waiting for his old man to show up before heading to the church, only to at the last second that he just decided to arrive at the church without telling the groom and groomsmen.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name deal with the mother-in-law coming up to them after the couple’s first dance together and telling them that William was dragging his feet.

The queen will not be amused.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Posted in News

Serie Blah

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If Serie A is all the Italians have to watch, no wonder that country always goes on strike. This stuff is borderline unwatchable. I’m talking MLS stuff here.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 24, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Posted in Sports

Play? Looks Fishy To Me*

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For all of you who have seen this posted on your Facebook news feed or forwarded to your inbox and went, “Awwww…”

…You do realize that the cat either either going, “What the hell is this?” or trying to figure out a way to kill the dolphin.

And that’s why cats rule.

*Yes, I know dolphins aren’t fish. 😛

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Posted in Life

Blue Collared

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So last night the better half and I went to the “Blue Collar Minus Ron White” concert at the Consol Energy Center. Now we got the tickets in January, and I knew we were getting floor seats for this. However, yesterday I got a call at work from Mrs. kkk informing me that this show was going to be taped for some CMT special.

And we’re eight rows up.

For someone who just LOVES to have his picture taken, words can’t begin to describe my excitement.

When we got to the venue, I noted that there were some signs notifying the crowd that this concert was going to be recorded for a DVD, and not too far away I saw some camera crew interviewing concert-goers. Now when you do something like this, a person being videotaped has to sign a consent form. I dodged that bullet.

And then we got to our seats.

We were not eight rows from the front, as Mrs. kkk originally told me. There were two groups of floor seats. We were in the first row of the second group. Right behind the camera man who was shooting the “main stage” shot.

Oh, did I mention he turned around RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME to take shots of the crowd?

Yep.

So unless my mug does not go over well with the focus groups, I have a very strong feeling that I’ll be included on this DVD.

Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 23, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Posted in Life

Running On “S” For “Stupid”

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Now that the HUSSEIN RECESSION has gas prices up to $4, it’s now time to hear these type of stories.

With gas prices pushing $4 a gallon, a lot of people are trying to stretch their dollar at the gas pump, but some of them are trying to stretch it a little too far.

Since the beginning of March, AAA has seen an 18 percent increase in the number of roadside calls for people running out of gas.

“I never put a lot in because I can’t afford to fill it up,” Leo Greek, a stranded motorist, said.

He says he’s not even sure how much it would cost to fill up his truck these days because he hasn’t done it for a while. He gets only what he needs and today he underestimated.

I remember a few years ago hearing stories of motorists that didn’t want to pay for $3-4 gas and would just run dry out on the highway and have AAA arrive and put in a gallon of fuel into the tank.

Yeah, I’m going to deliberately run out of gas and wait God knows how long for AAA to show up and put a gallon or two in my tank. Brilliant.

Wonder how much money in lottery tickets these geniuses spent each week?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Posted in News

First Earth Day … Or Is It Earth First Day?

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I can’t believe it. He used STYROFOAM?!

Ira Einhorn was on stage hosting the first Earth Day event at the Fairmount Park in Philadelphia on April 22, 1970. Seven years later, police raided his closet and found the “composted” body of his ex-girlfriend inside a trunk.

A self-proclaimed environmental activist, Einhorn made a name for himself among ecological groups during the 1960s and ’70s by taking on the role of a tie-dye-wearing ecological guru and Philadelphia’s head hippie. With his long beard and gap-toothed smile, Einhorn — who nicknamed himself “Unicorn” because his German-Jewish last name translates to “one horn” —advocated flower power, peace and free love to his fellow students at the University of Pennsylvania. He also claimed to have helped found Earth Day.

But the charismatic spokesman who helped bring awareness to environmental issues and preached against the Vietnam War — and any violence — had a secret dark side. When his girlfriend of five years, Helen “Holly” Maddux, moved to New York and broke up with him, Einhorn threatened that he would throw her left-behind personal belongings onto the street if she didn’t come back to pick them up.

And so on Sept. 9, 1977, Maddux went back to the apartment that she and Einhorn had shared in Philadelphia to collect her things, and was never seen again. When Philadelphia police questioned Einhorn about her mysterious disappearance several weeks later, he claimed that she had gone out to the neighborhood co-op to buy some tofu and sprouts and never returned.

It wasn’t until 18 months later that investigators searched Einhorn’s apartment after one of his neighbors complained that a reddish-brown, foul-smelling liquid was leaking from the ceiling directly below Einhorn’s bedroom closet. Inside the closet, police found Maddux’s beaten and partially mummified body stuffed into a trunk that had also been packed with Styrofoam, air fresheners and newspapers.

After his arrest, Einhorn jumped bail and spent decades evading authorities by hiding out in Ireland, Sweden, the United Kingdom and France. After 23 years, he was finally extradited to the United States from France and put on trial. Taking the stand in his own defense, Einhorn claimed that his ex-girlfriend had been killed by CIA agents who framed him for the crime because he knew too much about the agency’s paranormal military research. He was convicted of murdering Maddux and is currently serving a life sentence.

Although Einhorn was only the master of ceremonies at the first Earth Day event, he maintains that Earth Day was his idea and that he’s responsible for launching it. Understandably, Earth Day’s organizers have distanced themselves from his name, citing Gaylord Nelson, an environmental activist and former Wisconsin governor and U.S. senator who died in 2005, as Earth Day’s official founder and organizer.

According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Sen. Gaylord Nelson created Earth Day in the spring of 1970 as a way to bring national awareness to the fact that, at the time, there were no legal or regulatory mechanisms in place to protect the environment. About 20 million participants at various Earth Day events across the U.S. made Earth Day a success, and in December of 1970, Congress authorized the creation of a new federal agency to tackle environmental issues — the EPA.

I guess in the days before George W. Bush, everybody just blamed the C.I.A.

Here’s another fun fact. The first Earth Day was to raise awareness about global COOLING.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Posted in News

Michigan Marketing

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So over the last few weeks I have seen a number of fancy TV ads by Michigan pimping itself as a business/tourist attraction.

Save on the productions costs and just air the following message: “Michigan: It’s Not All Detroit.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 22, 2011 at 11:57 am

Posted in Life

Where’s “Voting Democrat”?

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OK, I’m not posting the entire article. I’ll just list the seven things Cracked.com is telling us what we’re doing wrong.

7) Pooping.

6) Bathing.

5) Breathing.

4) Sleeping.

3) Having Babies.

2) Tooth Brushing.

1) Sitting.

Some of these makes sense — Sitting and Tooth Brushing, come to mind.

But Pooping. As long as it comes out, how are you doing it wrong? (Yeah, I know. I read what Cracked wrote.)

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 21, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Posted in Life

Caught Reds-Handed

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Stealing $60 of stuff from Macey’s (allegedly). So all he took was a toothbrush and hair comb?

In a stunning case of alleged retail theft that makes little sense to anybody, Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake(notes) was arrested and booked Monday afternoon for allegedly stealing $59.88 worth of merchandise from a Macy’s department store in downtown Cincy.

The second-year right-hander, in case you’re wondering, makes $425,000 a year and received a $2.3 million signing bonus after being drafted out of Arizona State.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 21, 2011 at 11:55 am

Posted in Sports

Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em

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You know, I’ve never been very high on the date of April 20.

What?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Posted in Life

kkk’s Great Entry

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The things I have bouncing around in my head sometimes.

Now hopefully YOU will have this stuck in your noggin’ for the next few days.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 20, 2011 at 11:53 am

Posted in Life

kkk’s Rule Of Life #62

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While I understand the meaning behind “Change Your Family Tree,” I still find that applying a chainsaw works better.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 19, 2011 at 11:51 am

Heeling A Loaf Of Bread

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There’s one in every household. Who is the bread heel-eater in your household?

*Raises hand.*

I honestly don’t understand the big deal about heel slices. Bread’s bread.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 18, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Posted in Life

This Seed Is Sprouting At The Right Time

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Dang. When it comes to NBA, there’s a big difference between being an eighth seed in the East and an eighth seed in the West.

Memphis Grizzlies: 46-36

Indiana Pacers: 37-45

Heck, if Memphis was in the East, they would be the 5th seed.

And the sad thing is, from what I’ve seen of the Grizzlies/Spurs series, if Memphis bests the top seed, it wouldn’t be all that surprising.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 17, 2011 at 11:48 am

Posted in Sports

Don’t Do The Diet Dew

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So this is Day #5 since I gave diet pop the ban-hammer. Why? Because I feel like doing so.

Actually, a few days earlier I realized I didn’t drink any diet soda for a day or two and decided to keep the streak going.

The over/under on the the streak ending is April 30. Place your bets now.

I don’t drink regular pop, and I figure all the shit that comes in a can of Diet Mountain Dew can’t be good for me. Actually, I usually have a can mid-afternoon, and if I don’t I tend to crash. Well, I realized after a few days that I wasn’t crashing even without the aid of my 12 oz. can mates and figured what the hell and keep up the good work.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 16, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Posted in Life

This Video Is Alien To Me

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Now I’ve mentioned Katy Perry before at this place, and I’ve been positive about what I’ve thought about her and her work.

The hell is this?

After hearing this song, doesn’t it sound like it’s endorsing rape?

I’ma disrobe you, than I’mma probe you
See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do

Then again, there are rich white guys that pay some chick dressed up in leather and holding a whip, so maybe this is on the level after all.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 16, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With It … Err, Wait A Minute

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Bright side. At least Jesse can’t have any more illegitimate children this way.

A former employee of the Rev. Jesse Jackson Sr. at the Rainbow Push Coalition has filed a bombshell wrongful termination and discrimination complaint against the civil rights leader with the City of Chicago’s Commission on Human Rights.

The complaint, filed sometime last year by Tommy R. Bennett, a regular on the Tom Joyner Radio show and member of the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s LGBT Leadership Council, includes shocking allegations about Jackson’s behavior toward the openly gay staffer including an allegation that the civil rights leader propositioned him.

Jackson has denied the allegations in a legal response that was filed in July 2010 and resurfaced when the Windy City Times published a story Tuesday.

A part of me feels bad ripping on Jesse for stuff like this. I mean, he could have paid off his baby mamma to have the fetus killed and nobody would have known — until the former baby mamma would have made it public anyway once the hush money stopped arriving in the mail.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 15, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Posted in News

Co-Pay Copout

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So back in February I made a whopping $5 co-pay to the dentist for the better half’s semi-annual appointment. Well, it was to the insurance people who deal with my dentist.

A week or so ago I got a letter stating that we still owe on the co-pay. Que?

Because I paid for this with a credit card, I went online and double-checked to see if the $5 was taken out. It was. OK then.

I called and informed these people of the situation, and they said that AS A FAVOR they were going to “waive” the co-pay. This time.

Thanks a bunch for waiving a co-pay you received two months ago. Jackass.

I sure can’t wait until the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher makes all this free.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 15, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Posted in Life

Observing In The Rain

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After this most recent storm, I realize that there types of people in this world.

1) Those that do the little scamper in the rain (like that will make them any less wet).

2) Those that go “meh, it’s only water” and just walk normally in the rain (this is me).

3) Those that actually took the time to learn if an umbrella would be needed.

Oh, and there are those that stand by the road and don’t notice the huge puddle in front of them that a passing vehicle will interact with, spraying them from head to toe. I pretend those people don’t exist.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Posted in Life

Pop Goes The Budget

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I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating.

Regarding all this DRAMUH~! about cutting a few billion from an abortion of a federal budget, here is what I have to say.

“These budget cuts would be like me going out and buying 5 houses and trying to pay this off by switching to generic Cola instead of Pepsi.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 13, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Posted in Life

How Do I Oppress Thee?

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So because rich people are the cause of my oppression, I got the wondering: am I supposed to hate rich people that live in lower cost of living areas more than those fat cats that live in higher cost of living areas? I’m sure I’m supposed to hate a multi-millionaire in Mississipp, than someone in Manhattan because the former probably has more spending power to oppress me.

I also know I’m supposed to hate those people living off of capital gains, but I wonder if there’s some sliding scale of hate that correlates with the amount of one’s annual income which is generated by capital gains.

And let’s not get into whether or not I should hate theair miles or other credit card rewards “those people” accumulate on the backs of the working man?

Or is it “off the backs of the working man”? This is all so confusing. I’m sure it will all make sense once my handbook from the Purple People Beaters arrives in the mail.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 13, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Posted in Life

Swarming Stinkbugs

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I swear to Christ, stinkbugs are nature’s version of “Idiocracy.”

What is the point behind these things? They get into the house, sit there and die a day or so later. I’m pretty much a bleeding heart when it comes to bugs in the house. While the better half flushes most of her captured prey down the nearest toilet, I catch and release back outside. After all, the spider I release today might build the web and catch the hornet that was going to otherwise sting me tomorrow.

I still haven’t figured out the higher calling of the stinkbug, though. And even with my amnesty program in place, the upstairs rooms stilll look like stinkbug mass grave site, though. Oh well. It gives the cats something to swat other than each other.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 12, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Posted in Life

Losing Your Lunch

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I wonder if short ribs made the cut?

Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.

“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.

Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”

Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”

At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.

“Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school,” Carmona said. “It’s about the nutrition and the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It’s milk versus a Coke. But with allergies and any medical issue, of course, we would make an exception.”

Carmona said she created the policy six years ago after watching students bring “bottles of soda and flaming hot chips” on field trips for their lunch. Although she would not name any other schools that employ such practices, she said it was fairly common.

A Chicago Public Schools spokeswoman said she could not say how many schools prohibit packed lunches and that decision is left to the judgment of the principals.

“While there is no formal policy, principals use common sense judgment based on their individual school environments,” Monique Bond wrote in an email. “In this case, this principal is encouraging the healthier choices and attempting to make an impact that extends beyond the classroom.”

Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.

At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.

“Some of the kids don’t like the food they give at our school for lunch or breakfast,” said Little Village parent Erica Martinez. “So it would be a good idea if they could bring their lunch so they could at least eat something.”

I think the funniest part to this article is a photo of one these great school lunches.

Yeah, like any parent could possibly top that in a brown bag.

I remember back in the mid-1990s when Democrats accused Republicans of wanting to starve children by “cutting” the federal school lunch program. Well if the kiddos aren’t going to eat this shit-on-a-tray feast dictated to them by their government school, then what’s the point of funding this crap?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 11, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Posted in News

A View On Ventura

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Look, I don’t give a crap about this show. I don’t even care about the actual interview. Why am I posting this?

To show how much Jesse Ventura has gone off the grid. Woozers.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 10, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Posted in News

kkk’s Rule Of Life #61

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The first bird casualty of the back deck window unofficially marks the start of spring.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 10, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Not Pumped About Finding New Nickname

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So after hearing the Muslim Wookie Fucker say this:

“I don’t pump gas now, but I remember what it was like pumping gas.”

I’m trying to create a new term of endearment for the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher.

Progressive Pumper? No.

Socialist Self-Server? Niet.

I’m drawing a blank. Damnit, and this has potential.

And I’m not even going to mention the media double-standard on this; if there was an “R” by the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s name, the articles talking about him being “out of touch” would already be published.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 9, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Posted in Sports

Parking Wars In The Motor City

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So last month I learned that “My Big Redneck Wedding” was still on CMT.

Now I learn that not only is A&E’s “Parking Wars” still on the air but now they feature segments from Detroit’s parking authority.

Oh this I have to see.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 9, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Posted in Entertainment

Poll Troll

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So I’ve been seeing these “polls” popping up on my Facebook wall over the last few days. I guess people can now post polls and find out who on their friends list has answered these things. This feature has the potential to be great.

And when I say this has the potential to be great, I also mean that this could be the worst thing ever.

Especially if you can add in your own selections.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 8, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Posted in Life

Hope Springs Eternal

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I really don’t pay attention to the Pittsburgh Pirates. However, during the first few weeks of a season, before the team’s “games behind” number doesn’t yet reach double digits, I will turn on a Pirates talk show and give it a listen. It’s always entertaining listening to Pirates fans this time of year. They’re so … I can’t even think of the word.

It’s not like these people actually believe the team will contend for a division title an 82-win season. Instead, most of the talk, especially from the talk show callers, revolves around the Bucs’ “good young prospects” and how with a little more big-league seasoning they can get traded away for other “good young prospects.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 7, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Posted in Sports

Scratch-Off Tickets Instant Fail

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I really hate these commercials pimping the Pennsylvania Lottery.

Sure the mascot is stupid, but as I get up there in years I’m really starting to detest the state-run lottery system.

The Pennsylvania Lottery benefits older Pennsylvanians. Except for those that actually play state-sanctioned gambling.

Keep on scratching.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 6, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Posted in Life

How Sweet It Is

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Today the workplace had some sort of fruit basket on display in the break room. What does this mean? It’s fair game.

There was an assortment of various fruit, including some chocolate-covered strawberries. Hey, I’m all about that. There was also some chocolate-covered pineapple. Hmmm. I’ve never tried this concoction before.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised. So surprised that I have to declare chocolate-dipped pineapple slices >>> chocolate-dipped strawberries.

What did it for me was that the sweetness of the pineapple enhanced the chocolate. You don’t get that with strawberries.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 5, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Posted in Life

Birthday Bill

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So today was another celebration of not dying for yet another year. And what did I do? I went to work.

Hey, I’m 35, not 10.

Actually, this was a milestone b-day for me. I am now old enough to run for president; I even have the birth certificate and everything. I really don’t have another milestone b-day until I become eligible for Social Insecurity, and who the hell knows if that Ponzi Scheme will be around another thirty-plus years.

Oh, but I did have one exciting thing happen. Mrs. kkk took the day off and told me that she got a call … from a bill collector … calling for me.

Que?

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 4, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Posted in Life

Loose Wedding Women

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So last night I went to a co-worker’s wedding. And even though I knew about this thing, I never bothered trying on my suits to see if any of them fit. The last time I wore any of them were two-plus years ago. Oh well. But I digress.

Mrs. kkk and I are simple people. We don’t dress up and go out or do any of that hoity-toity shit. And while most of the weddings we attend have receptions in fire halls, this place had some swank downtown location in the big city and complete with 20-somethings that looked like they belonged out on the street corner than in a reception hall. Needless to say, we were waaaaay out of our element.

It was actually at this event that made me thankful for finding the better half; she has never been one to dress slutty, and I’ve always been one of those “less is more” types. God help me should I ever end up back on the market again.

What was my highlight of the evening? Putting $50 in our wedding card and writing, ‘You would have gotten more but we had to pay for parking.” Yeah, I’m not much different in real life than I am here.

Oh, and the jackets were too big for me, so I just didn’t wear one. Hey, better too loose than too tight.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 3, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Posted in Life

Clear On How Dumb This Commercial Is

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So this commercial is my newest entry in the “Wow This Is Stupid” category.

*Middle-aged guy almost falls to his death off rikety bridge.*

“WATCH YOUR STEP!”

“I couldn’t do this without you.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 2, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Posted in Entertainment

No Joke With This Grand Entrance

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On a local sports talk radio show today that was broadcast at the same time as the Pirates first game of the season, the guy said, “Neil Walker hits a grand slam. No, this is not an April Fools’ joke.”

I still had to change the radio station to the game to actually believe it.

The 6-3 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates on Friday resembled a lot of losses at Wrigley Field over the years with other skippers in the dugout.

The Cubs looked comfortable with a 2-0 lead and Ryan Dempster on the mound. And then suddenly a couple of walks and two swings of the bat changed everything and spoiled opening day.

Dempster gave up a grand slam to Neil Walker in the fifth — after two walks — and a two-run homer to Andrew McCutchen in the seventh after getting two outs.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

April 1, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Posted in Sports