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Archive for August 12th, 2011

Planning This Shopping Trip Is A Real Riot

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So the looters, moochers and parasites of England are having their way with rioting.

A wave of violence and looting raged across London and spread to three other major British cities, as authorities struggled to contain the country’s worst unrest since race riots set the capital ablaze in the 1980s.

In London, groups of young people rampaged for a third straight night, setting buildings, vehicles and garbage dumps alight, looting stores and pelting police officers with bottles and fireworks into early Tuesday. The spreading disorder was an unwelcome warning of the possibility of violence during London’s 2012 Summer Olympics, less than a year away.

Instead of pointing out the feral underclass or going into great detail about the societal implications of these public disturbances, I’m going to address the big pictures.

If you decided to take part in a looting mob, what stores do you hit and what items do you get in compensation for your years of being oppressed by the Man?

First off, I would NOT venture into a local Walmart or Target store. My experiences at Black Friday shopping have shown me these are the LAST stores you should be near in these situations. I also would steer clear from electronics stores. Well, I might go into Best Buy if I wanted to take as much of the smaller merchandise as possible in the hope of selling it. But taking a big-screen TV? Don’t think so. I’m not walking down the street lugging this; it could get stolen from me or broken by the dumbmasses out and about.

While the thought of going into a Barnes and Noble to stock up on my CDs/DVDs is tempting, especially since I doubt looters would really go into a bookstore, I’m going to Kohl’s. Below are my reasons why:

1) There’s something for just about every room of the house. I probably wouldn’t get any clothes, but there are some household items that could come in handy. In addition, Kohl’s has some basic electronic items. I’m not a huge gadget geek; I’d glady get some of these items now if they weren’t so overpriced.

2) Because I believe in being as elusive as possible, Kohl’s big shopping bags will provide me with the opportunity to collect as much bounty as possible.

3) Much like Barnes & Noble, I doubt the looters, moochers and parasites would break into this store. If they did, my gut is telling me they would probably spend some time taking clothes. Because I would not be in this area of the store, the spill-off of leeches will help me when I’m looting in my own departments.

The saddest thing about all this? I’m using the same insight to this as I do with my Black Friday shopping excursions.

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Written by kkktookmybabyaway

August 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Posted in Life