KK's Korner

No telling what’s being thought of in the mind of a lunatic

Archive for May 2010

Save This Idea For The Scrap Heap

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Let’s see. Your city is drowning in debt and you want to give money to kindergartners to help them go to college?

Should cities help families save for their kids’ college education? San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom thinks so.

Newsom wants to create college savings accounts for all of San Francisco’s kindergartners and make small initial deposits to get them started — even as the city grapples with a massive budget shortfall.

“From the moment they enter kindergarten, we want kids to believe they will one day go to college and we want to help their parents get a start on saving for that education,” Newsom said. “The benefits to the students, their families and ultimately our economy vastly outweigh the modest initial investment.”

But skeptics say San Francisco can’t afford the program when the city is preparing to cut services and lay off hundreds of employees to close a $483 million deficit in its $2.9 billion general fund budget.

“It’s a real nice idea if we’re swimming in money, but we’re drowning in debt,” said Supervisor Sean Elsbernd. “This is not the time to create new entitlement programs when we’re drastically cutting the ones we already have.”

How about letting the PARENTS save for their own kid’s schooling? That’s a wild concept. And what about first-graders or those too young for school — do they get the shaft?

And I’m supposed to care that California is bankrupt.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Posted in News

Bush-League Behavior

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I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact the police officer is from a place called “mentor…”

A Mentor police officer was arrested Wednesday after an alleged assault on a little league baseball coach.

According to Lake County Sheriff Daniel Dunlap, Officer Matthew Collins, 37, was at Perry Township Park at around 8 p.m. for a youth baseball game when the incident occurred.

Witnesses told police that Collins head-butted 37-year-old coach Andrew Bagdonas, after the game.

Police say Bagdonas then fell to the ground, and Collins continued to assault him. The coach told Fox 8 News that the officer charged at his wife first. Bagdonas said he approached Collins to intervene, when the officer head-butted him and started punching him while on the ground.

The coach’s wife called 911 during the fight. When the dispatcher asked what happened, she replied, “The guy opened his mouth at a little league baseball game. He [Her husband] said ‘let coaches be the coaches’ and they confronted each other afterwards.”

…or that he has been on medical leave since last August.

Officer Collins has been a Mentor patrolman since 2003.

Mentor police say he has been on extended medical leave since August 2009.

Hope the medical leave was for his mental state and not some physical alignment.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Posted in Sports

Life’s Success Isn’t Based On Luck Of The Draw

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I read a similar article this weekend in my local fishwrap. Basically, this guy is helping casino employees catch card cheaters.

George Joseph made his name as a magician and card dealer in Las Vegas in the 1970s, and he was so good that when George Burns played God in the movie “Oh God,” it was Joseph’s hands viewers saw as “God” performing card tricks.

Joseph also knew cards so well the Las Vegas casinos asked him to help him spot cheaters, and that’s what he’s been doing ever since.

Joseph spent this week at Hollywood Casino in East Hanover Twp., teaching Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board employees and state police officers how to spot cheaters when table games open later this summer. He’s doing five weeks of training for state surveillance officers in casinos across Pennsylvania.

“Quite frankly, we don’t want to be caught with our heads in the sand,” said Richard McGarvey, a spokesman for the gaming control board.

While each casino is training its own staff, the Gaming Control Board wanted to make sure its own staff was up to speed, and extended the training invitation to the state police and state Department of Revenue.

About 50 people have been training at Hollywood Casino this week.

“The number one job of the Gaming Control Board is insure the integrity of gaming in Pennsylvania,” said Gregory Fajt, chairman of the gaming control board. “When a person comes into a Pennsylvania casino, they need to know they are getting a fair shake and they aren’t being cheated.”

Why am I posting this story?

Because it’s always interesting to see where a person’s interests end up taking them. I’m sure this guy never intended to be a consultant for casinos spotting card sharks, but that’s where his life’s journey is taking him for the time being. In some ways, I can relate.

When I graduated journalism school, my first degree-related job was a fact-checker/proofreader at a workplace that was an assembly line environment. I often joked that my job involved “meatball editing,” similar in many ways to the surgeons on “M*A*S*H*” engaging in “meatball surgery.” Patch the patient up and move on to the next. I’m not dissing the job; there just wasn’t any room for creativity for someone fresh out of journalism school. My next place of employment had nothing to do with my degree. However, there were some aspects of my education and early job experience that helped me work my way into a managerial-type position. For one, I had been trained to work with specific styles. There are times when you can’t look at something and change it to how you think it should look; you need to change it to how your employer wants it to look. Believe me, there are a lot of people that have a problem accomplishing this task. Anyway, after this job I landed another position that was everything I wanted — except for the shit-hole workplace environment and the fact that toward the end I would get physically ill if I spent more than two minutes in the same room with several of my asshole bosses.

What am I doing now for a paycheck? It’s not what I went to school for, but there are plenty of job skills I acquired over the years that help me keep the mortgage current. For example, I do a LOT of email correspondence, and each draft I compose can be compared to a writing assignment handed out by the department editor. There are other aspects — marketing strategies, desktop publishing, etc. Funny enough, I prefer not to engage most of my time doing these creative-based tasks because they really don’t do much in accomplishing my job’s objective. If I’m asked to produce something in Quark or Photoshop, I spend the least amount of time as possible because I have other tasks to deal with.

What’s the point of all this? When most people graduate from college, they expect a job that matches their degree. Sadly, this is a lie told to them during their whole college career by professors and school administrators. As I said not too long ago, that piece of paper you earn after several years at college means jack shit when it comes to how much you get paid in the real world. What matters? The education you reach out and acquire while in school and choices you make after your student career. You most likely won’t get that perfect first job, but that doesn’t mean your schooling was all for naught. You have to keep plugging away and take what’s given available to you, all the while looking for something better.

I am content with what I’m dong now, but I know I won’t be at my current place of employment forever — it’s just another stop on my life’s journey. Where will I go after this? Dunno. But I know I will have another few sets of skills for the next stop.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Posted in Life

You Can’t Improve On Perfecton — Or Can You?

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So on Saturday a pitcher threw the second perfect game this season.

Carlos Ruiz was the player Roy Halladay first hugged on the field, the only one he pointed to when he walked into the clubhouse, and the one he constantly praised to the media after etching his name in baseball history.

It was Halladay who became the 20th pitcher in Major League history to record a perfect game on Saturday night, but the Phillies’ ace credited his defense, tipped his cap to Jamie Moyer and had plenty of nice things to say about Ruiz.

“I can’t say enough about the job that Ruiz did tonight,” Halladay said. “It’s as much of a big deal for him as it is for me.”

After getting Ronny Paulino to ground out to third base with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, Halladay finally cracked a smile, then opened up his arms to absorb a warm embrace from Ruiz, who was with him for each of his 115 pitches on this magical night.

Then, when he walked back to the Phillies’ clubhouse and his teammates waited for words to come out of his mouth, Halladay simply pointed at his catcher, as if it were Ruiz who deserved most of the credit for the ace joining exclusive company.

And when was the last time this sort of thing took place?

The last time baseball saw two perfect games in the same month, a 20-year-old rookie named Larry Corcoran was dominating the National League. The NL consisted of eight teams, including one in, of all places, Troy, N.Y., and Corcoran reportedly stood 5-foot-3 and weighed 120 pounds, so understand that dominance is a far different animal today than it was 130 years ago.

Still, Corcoran led baseball with 268 strikeouts that season – a number impressive for any height until the proper context is provided: Corcoran threw 536 1/3 innings. During the 1880 season, when Lee Richmond and Monte Ward were perfect within five June days of each other, the game’s best strikeout artist K’d fewer than one hitter every two innings.

That’s a long time.

This has me thinking: Is the sudden outburst of perfect pitching performances a result of…

1) Roided-up batters no longer taking the juice?

2) Roided-up pitchers getting away with taking some kind of performance-enhancing drug?

3) A really weird coincidence?

Of course the person I really feel for is the other team’s pitcher. According to the box score, he went seven innings, gave up 7 hits, struck out 6, walked 1 and had 1 unearned run. I know I’d be bummed if I that kind of performance only to be upstaged by history.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Posted in Sports

A Favorable Impression

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I’m not a huge Frank Caliendo fan. I don’t hate him, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch any original programming from the guy.

With that said, this is a pretty good Glenn Beck impression — 1:45 was great.

I change my previous comment. I would watch Frank Caliendo do his John Madden impression on the set of Beck’s TV show. (The 5:00-5:40 mark was my favorite part.)

Speaking of Madden and Politics. My final project in my graphic arts class back in ’96 was to create an ad campaign with John Madden running for president. Here’s was my slogan:

“If Bill Clinton is too left, and Bob Dole is too right, then … BOOM! Go right up the middle.”

What does Frank Caliendo have to do with a school project from 14 years ago? No clue. Look, shiny object…

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 31, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Posted in Entertainment

What Do You Get That Person Of Color Who Has Everything?

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While doing the from-work-to-home commute the other day, the better half and I were in one of the not-so-finer parts of the region. It was at this time I noticed the car in front of me had the following decal on her back car window:

4 Black Gifts Call 412-915-0367.

And I’m sure this is a legit business. (Harriel-Allen, Kimberly – Revelations & Reflections Incorporated.)

Guess I have to get to know some black people before doing any business with this establishment. 😦

One final note. The 412 area code is for the Southwestern Pennsylvania region, but this car had Louisiana plates. That’s all I got.

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Posted in Life

Diff’rent Strokes Was Watched By A Bunch Of Different Folks

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So Gary Coleman died. You will not read any “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, kkk?” or “Did he die from Diff’rent Strokes?” quips here. Why? Because I’ve used these lines elsewhere. They aren’t funny and unoriginal.

What I will say is that Todd Bridges and the guy who played Mr. Drummond are still kickin’. Dang.

What I will say is that I … read … the following obit article on Yahoo and noted some weird-ass stuff. (Wow that was an oddly written sentence.)

Gary Coleman once said he wanted people to think of him as something more than the chubby-cheeked child star from television show “Diff’rent Strokes,” that he wanted to escape the legacy of character Arnold Jackson, whose “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout?” became a catch phrase of the 1970s and ’80s.

He spent his later years still keeping a hand in show business, but also moving away from it, marrying and settling in Utah, far away from Hollywood’s sometimes all-too-bright lights. Still, he was dogged by ongoing health problems and struggled with legal woes.

After suffering a brain hemorrhage, Coleman was taken off life support Friday and died, his family and friends at his side, said Utah Valley Regional Medical Center spokeswoman Janet Frank. He was 42.

Now that I got all those pesky routine facts out of the way, here’s what I did double-takes on later in the article.

His role as a car-washing plantation slave in the 2008 conservative political satire “An American Carol” was cut from the final print.

Really? I can’t remember if I watched that in the actual movie on DVD or if it was in the deleted scenes. No matter. I don’t have a real desire to watch that movie again to find out.

The actor also appeared in last year’s “Midgets vs. Mascots,” a film that pits little people against mascots in a series of silly contests for a chance to win $1 million. Coleman met with producers of the film earlier this year to ask them to remove a brief scene of frontal nudity that he says he didn’t authorize.

Didn’t authorize — Did someone else pull his pants down?

Coleman was among 135 candidates who ran in California’s bizarre 2003 recall election to replace then-Gov. Gray Davis, whom voters ousted in favor of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Coleman came in eighth with 12,488 votes, or 0.2 percent, just behind Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt.

More than 12,000 people voted for Gary Coleman for governor. And that’s what’s wrong with this country.

He should have received MORE votes.

He moved to Utah in fall 2005, and according to a tally in early 2010, officers were called to assist or intervene with Coleman more than 20 times in the following years. They included a call where Coleman said he had taken dozens of Oxycontin pills and “wanted to die.”

Yeah, I know people who overdose and then let people know don’t really want to die. Just once I’d like the 9-1-1 operator to say before hanging up, “You took 100 sleeping pills and calling to let me know? OK.”

Written by kkktookmybabyaway

May 29, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Posted in Entertainment