Rain, Rain Come And Stay

Well at least it’s not snow.

Flooded roads and sewer backups troubled the region today, but creeks rose without major damage in the Pittsburgh area on Monday.

Most of Western Pennsylvania’s counties except for Washington and Greene are under a flood warning until about 6:45 p.m., according to the National Weather Service. Rain mixed with snowmelt swelled creeks throughout the region today, and meteorologists expect that will lead to high rivers tomorrow.

I’m not complaining. Especially when remember what it was like in February last year.

Suspicius Post

“Pennsylvania State police warn of suspicious person.” I love headlines.

And here’s the story.

Beware of strangers knocking on the door, state police warn.

State police said an unknown male gained entry to the home of an elderly man on Melvin Drive by telling the homeowner he was with Hempfield Township and was collecting $5 for “bug spraying.”

The two men chatted, the visitor asked to use the bathroom inside the home, and then he departed “without any known problems,” police said.

The homeowner was targeted several months ago by two individuals who “grossly overcharged” for a driveway paving job, police said.

Police are seeking information on the latest visitor, described as a white male in his late teens or early 20s. He weighs about 200 pounds and is about 6 feet tall. He was driving a dark-colored sedan, police said.

Anyone knowing about similar incidents or who saw something in this case should contact state police in Greensburg.

I remember a year or so ago I took the day off work; can’t remember the reason. However, this guy did ring the doorbell and I answered. He was one of those, “I drove by and say your driveway could use paving.” Uhhh, no, it doesn’t. I think he was surprised someone under the age of 80 answered the door at 11 am on a weekday. I think I still have his business card.

kkk’s Rule Of Life #58

Putting ketchup on eggs is vile.

Blockbuster Closeout

So earlier this week Mrs. kkk and I learned that our local Blockbuster was going out of business. We would visit that place every few months and get used DVDs 5 for $20. (Or was it 4 for $20? No matter.) Of course, with loyal customers like us, I’m shocked this Blockbuster got the free-market ban-hammer.

The better half got a $15 Blockbuster gift card as a birthday present from a friend, and she wanted to unload it before this store called it a day. So last night we stopped by, and the dumbmasses were out in full force.

Now I’m all about picking the carcass of a store going out of business, but come on people. Thirty percent off a $15 used DVD is NOT a sale. There were people walking up to the register with stacks of DVDs and video games. WHY GOD WHY?

But there was some entertainment. My favorite was some guy yelling at his kids, “I didn’t plan on coming in here to spend $40.” Mrs. kkk also got a kick out of some kid trying to choose between two video games and saying to himself, “This isn’t going to be easy. Tough choices will have to be made.” But the best had to be when we were waiting in line and Mrs. kkk said to me, “Another victim of the HUSSEIN RECESSION~!!” And the lady in front of us then gave us a scowl. Of course that may have been after my comment about the First Wookie.

Perusing this store actually gave me a flashback to when I spent a few weeks working at a kitchen supply store that was going out of business. It was fun seeing a bunch of customers that thought they were getting incredible deals only to ask me, “Is that total right?” It was more fun explaining to these people that “10 percent off” covers the sales tax and little else.

Etiquette Smitiquette

And here’s yet another example of what separates men from women.

So yesterday I got a letter from my soon-to-be-married co-worker. This letter was a wedding invitation.

The person whose office is down the hall from mine at work sent me an invitation … by mail.

That was 44 cents well spent.

Did I say “44 cents”? I meant to say “88 cents.” Not only for the actual letter but the return RSVP thing that had a stamp stuck on to that as well. With the size of her wedding party, she probably bankrolled her local USPS branch’s payroll for a week.

How did I handle the situation? Instead of mailing the RSVP back to her, I sealed the envelope and put it on her chair. Oh, and I did write “that’s 88 cents well spent” on the envelope as well.

I also added if I would have to wear a tie to this thing, but I’ll defend this action. With my family’s history of dressing for these events (and ESPECIALLY with Mrs. kkk’s side of the family), I always make it a policy to question the level of formal wear needed. That’s what happens when you have a family whose wedding table of 12 attendees gives you a combined $40 on your big day.

kkk’s Rule Of Life #57

“Culinary Creations;” you’re not fooling anybody, Hot Pockets.

Muslim Butt-Pirates

But remember, those pirates are just poor and hungry.

Americans Jean and Scott Adam were on a mission to distribute Bibles around the world when their yacht was hijacked by Somali MUSLIM pirates, friends of the couple said.

On Tuesday, the U.S. Central Command said the Adams, along with Philis Macay and Bob Riggle, had been killed by their MUSLIM captors.

A U.S. Navy ship had been trailing the captured Americans after their yacht, Quest, was overtaken by MUSLIM pirates on Friday.

Although to be fair, if you’re going to deliver Bibles around the world to third-world shitholes, perhaps a yacht shouldn’t be your transportation vehicle of choice.

Toothpaste Underground

So is there anything new taking place on the Toothpaste Wars front?

I went grocery shopping tonight and hid yet two more tubes of toothpaste from the better half while she was taking a shower and I was unpacking the groceries.

God there’s something wrong with me.

Then again, there would be something wrong with me if I didn’t get these two tubes of Crest for free. ($1.50 sale + $1.50 coupon = No cost.)

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Runaway Pol, Never Come Back

Dear Wisconsin:

If you are looking for a few more state senators to conduct business, I’m sure my governor would be happy to lend you a few of ours.

Wisconsin Democrats won the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s attention and inspired other states by bolting the capital to protest a crackdown on unions. David Graham on the history of the political walkout.

You can’t win a vote when you’ve got fewer votes than your opponents. But Wisconsin Democrats are discovering a centuries-old corollary truth this week: you can’t lose a vote if you don’t let it happen. And that’s why 14 of them have fled out of Madison and across the border into Illinois, hoping to prevent a vote that would cut benefits for public-sector workers and curtail the right to collective bargaining.

As a bonus, if you receive any from the eastern side of my commonwealth, you can keep them.

Kill Now, Collect Later

From a lawyer ad earlier tonight:

“If you’ve taken *name of eeeeevil corporate Big Pharma pill* and either experienced a stroke blahblahblah or suicide, you may be entitled to compensation.”

That one deserved a rewind on the ol’ DVR.

Doing Whatever kkk Can To Like This Movie

One of these years I’m going to create a “movies” subfolder at this place. In the meantime, I have to say that goddamn those Spiderman films have not aged well.

I watched the first one a few nights ago and it has not stood up to the test of time. Then again, maybe it’s because the cartoony feel of the thing got blown out of the water with the two newest “Batman” movies.

Nah. Punisher: War Zone was an 11 out of 10 on the “What the hell is this?” scale and I love that move.

Although one thing I will say is that I hated Aunt May back then and I still hate her now.

Here’s The Latest Scoop

I gotta say, the Tidy Cat scoopable litter is a pretty darn good value, even if each container is a few pounds lighter and a few dollars more at Sam’s Club than the generic-y equivalent.

Quality > Quantity, especially when a pooper-scooper is involved.

I was actually concerned at first after seeing how the urine looked in the new litter but it held together and was able to get scooped out with no problem.

Hey, these things matter.

I’d Like To Climb You, But Your Trees Are Venomous Poison

A guy can get up to 10 years in jail for poisoning some trees at Auburn University.

News that a rabid Crimson Tide fan poisoned 130-year-old live oaks at Auburn University’s historic Toomer’s Corner has whipped the state into a frenzy usually reserved for the Iron Bowl. The bizarre incident has exposed an old-fashioned hate that’s not always clean.

“I think [Harvey Almorn Updyke, charged with the poisoning] is representative of a fringe element of fans right now who are angry about a lot of things,” sports talk show host Paul Finebaum told the Birmingham News. “They are angry about Auburn winning the national championship, but they are equally angry about what happened at the game in Tuscaloosa, and about the fact that they don’t believe Cam Newton should have been eligible, and they don’t believe Auburn won a legitimate national championship.

“You get all of these different things working together, and I think the anger level for this is much higher than it’s been,” said Finebaum, who, on Jan. 27, received a call from an Alabama fan claiming to have poisoned the treasured oaks. According to an affidavit released by the Lee County District Court, Updyke admitted to making that call and one other, to a Auburn professor of turfgrass management and weed science, regarding the incident.

The trees are given almost no chance of surviving the Spike 80DF, or tebuthiuron, that Updyke is accused of applying in lethal amounts. “It’ll take divine intervention” to save them, former Auburn Athletic Director David Housel told the Atlanta Journal-Constipation.

Other people get shit-faced, go out and kill someone and don’t even get jail time. Yet some people wonder why I’m constantly looking for the world’s reset button.

Now the harshest-penalty mentioned is a common tactic for many news stories, but still. The guy poisoned trees. He damaged property. No way in hell this should get a harsher sentence than someone killing another person.

I’m In The (School) Zone

Good God. Another driving story.

So every morning I drive through this school zone. I personally think the 15 mph slowdown is a bit extreme, especially when there is nobody outside and you have to creep along several blocks. But I am a man of rules, or at least I try to be. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

So every morning I drive through this school zone. As I was going my 15 mph the stop light suddenly turned yellow. Playing it safe, I stopped. The car n the other lane decided to play it not-so-safe and gunned it through the now-red light.

Then some other lights appeared.

These lights were red, blue and flashing.

And I laughed.

A lot.

The thing is I didn’t even notice the police car driving in the opposite lane. Thank Christ I didn’t decide to gun it as well. Then again, I don’t in school zones.

cBS Sitting On A Story

I love it when a media organization is the focus of a story and they don’t report on the events.

“[60 Minutes] correspondent Lara Logan was repeatedly sexually assaulted by thugs yelling, ‘Jew! Jew!’ as she covered the chaotic fall of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in Cairo’s main square Friday.”

Powerful reporting on an important story. Two problems: It didn’t run until yesterday, and cBS didn’t run it. The quote is from the New York Post. And it was The Wall Street Journal that reported “the separation and assault lasted roughly 20 to 30 minutes.”

But cBS? They sat on their own story. For five days, as reporters reveled amid giddy celebrations in Tahrir Square, and as President Obama praised President Obama’s handling of the Egyptian crisis, cBS reported nothing.

Only when other media had the story did cBS break the news that its own chief foreign correspondent was the victim of “a brutal and sustained sexual assault.”

Five days of silence — not even “60 Minutes” coverage of the Egypt story. No mention of the “mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy” who attacked their own reporter.

How is that not news?

Wonder if cBS’ reaction had been if ol’ Lara had something much less inflammatory shouted at her at a Tea Party event?

kkk’s Rule Of Life #56

It may not fix stupid, but duct tape can plug it up for a while.

Only The Strong Watch Survivor

And now the Survivor Widower time of year commences.

Between 8 pm – 9 pm on Wednesday nights for most of the next few months I’m banned from the living room.

I hate this stupid show. Mrs. kkk loves it. What can I say? I watch a ton of sports that she hates.

To Call Or Not To Call?

So last night I went grocery shopping, and I had yet another driving experience.

There was a motorist in front of me that was breaking and swerving all over the place. Not only was this car going off into the shoulder, but it was also moving into the other lane. Thankfully, there wasn’t much traffic around, and I figured the safest place to be was behind this vehicle rather than attempt to pass. Was the motorist drunk or old? I’m not sure, but if I had to wager I would put money down on the latter.

As I was keeping my distance, I thought to myself, “How erratic does someone have to drive before calling the police?” I don’t think I have ever called law enforcement regarding an impaired motorist, but this would have been the closest I would have ever come to doing this. Actually, I would have used my cell phone but I couldn’t read the license plate because I was that far back. The vehicle then turned off and I just let things be.

Tax Man Not Cometh This Year

Yesterday the kkk household got its taxes done today. We go to this H&R block person that Mrs. kkk has gone to since she had taxable income. I personally think the whole tax preparer thing is a gigantic rip-off, but compromises must be made in marriage. I tried getting the better half to not flush money down the toilet over this situation, but she’ll have none of that. Oh well.

So how much of an interest-free loan did we get back from the government. Only a few hundred dollars. W00t~! Big refunds are dumb.

I don’t mind getting back a few hundred dollars. I figure it’s a “cushion” of sorts in case there was some tax credit or something that I overlooked and we wind up owing money. With us on a monthly budget, I’d prefer not to take the chance and owe a little something each spring. What kills me are the people who get thousands of dollars back. I don’t have kids, so I’m not sure how that whole child-credit thing works, but if you can get that out of your paycheck during the course of a year, you could get a few hundred each month instead of one lump sum.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

I was “warned” that we may end up owing about $500 next year due to some expiring credit. Because of this, I may stash away $50 each month just in case. If it turns out we don’t owe anything next year, then that’s an interest-free loan I just made to myself. I’d rather have that than wait on the government for my refund.

Seven Sins Ranked From Worst To Least Deadly

So just for the heck of it, I decided to list the seven deadly sins in the order in which I am most guilty to least guilty of committing. In case you’re a heathen, here’s a recap.

Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

And here we go.

Wrath. Like there was any doubt. I still don’t shop at FYE stores because of getting screwed over by them more than 15 years ago. Well that and that store is a rip-off to the nth degree.

Gluttony. Ever watch me eat and you’ll know why this is ranked second.

Sloth. You go make the world a better place.

Greed. I pursue wealth; so sue me. This is a tricky one for me. I don’t think I’m greedy because my definition of “greed” is to try and obtain something without working for that object. However, these next four are tricky for me to list and something has to go first.

Pride. I’m not vain, though I have every right to be

Envy. Don’t be a hater.

Lust. I consider this to be similar to Envy, although Envy seems to encompass more. Basically, I’m too old for this shit.

So there you have it. I think Wrath is by far my worst sin. The next two are pretty close, but they definitely set themselves apart from the bottom four. It took me a little time to figure out the bottom four.

Sea Sick

Over the last year or so, I’ve noticed a number of items pimping the fact they now have SEA SALT.

What’s the big deal?

I’m sure there will be a study somewhere down the line that will tell us this stuff is one of the worst things you can ever consume. And then there will be another study after that claiming the initial study was full of shit.

The Crash Is Always Louder In The Other Side Of The Lane

So last week I have an interesting commute experience.

I was at this four-way intersection that had two lanes of road on my side and two lanes on the other side of the double yellow lines. This intersection is horrible for vehicles to turn left because there is now green arrow. You pretty much have to wait until the light turns red to zip through your turn. Because of this, you’re usually waiting through a light cycle or two.

Well today was one of those times in which there was someone trying to turn left. Aside from the motorist that was trying to turn, there were two other cars in front of me. Suddenly, these two cars zoomed over into the right lane to get around this other vehicle. At the same time, the van which was behind me zoomed over as well. There was one little problem with all this.

A vehicle in the right lane was trying to turn right and wasn’t going anywhere. The front “zoom” vehicle had to brake, which cause the second “zoom” vehicle to brake. The van that “zoomed” wasn’t quick enough to break and hit the vehicle in front of him (“zoom” vehicle #2). And good times were had by all.

Seriously, is it really that big a deal if you have to wait through a light cycle? You know what’s worse than sitting at a stop light?

Sitting at the mechanic’s.

Now I would be lying if I said I never went around someone waiting to turn at a stop light, but I do this when there aren’t that many other vehicles on the road. When it’s rush hour, just stay in your spot and wait. Many times it’s not worth the risk.

Share The Love At Wally’s World

Over the last few days, I’ve been constantly hearing this radio ad which starts out, “Hey guys! There’s still time to go to Wal-Mart and get her something for Valentine’s Day!”

And it still makes me laugh each time it has been broadcast.

Text C-o-m-m-i-e

When the DVD format killed the VHS market years ago, my mother-in-law accused the home entertainment industry of “communism.”

This same person just racked up more text charges in the last wireless bill than I have for the 4+ years we’ve had this family plan. Guess we now have to get her the flat rate.

Cairo — City Of The Resigned President

One Muslim president down, one to go.

Cries of “Egypt is free” rang out and fireworks lit up the sky as hundreds of thousands danced, wept and prayed in joyful pandemonium Friday after 18 days of peaceful pro-democracy protests forced President Hosni Mubarak to surrender power to the military, ending three decades of authoritarian rule.

Sports And Circuses

So I had an interesting conversation at work yesterday.

Someone who works within my boss’s building tried to make some connection with the Steelers 1970s teams and the bad economic times the region was facing and the current bread and circuses going on with the Steelers and Penguins of today. I’ve heard this theory before. You keep the masses entertained with sports and other fluffly “news” and shield the dumbmasses as to what was REALLY going on with a region’s plummet into the abyss.

And of course my response to this was: “If that’s the case, then Detroit would have dynasties in every league right now.”

And this is why nobody shows up for my office b-day cake. 😦

Then again, the Detroit Pistons did go to six consecutive NBA conference finals in the previous decade…

Topless Representaton

You’re going to have to work on that spray-tan if you want to get in on next season’s “Jersey Shore.”

The Maryland woman whose online encounter with a married New York congressman ultimately sparked his resignation broke her silence Thursday, sending an eyebrow-raising message to the disgraced politician’s wife: Get tested.

The unidentified woman, who is only described as a 34-year-old, revealed to Gawker.com that she was out on a date when she learned that Rep. Christopher Lee resigned from his congressional seat.

A shirtless photo of the Republican that surfaced on the gossip site Wednesday afternoon created a firestorm of controversy and pressured Lee to step down from his post within hours.

The married congressman who represented Erie and Niagra counties, posted the now-infamous photo on the “women seeking men” section of the site, and reportedly described himself to the woman as a 39-year-old lobbyist. Lee is 46-years-old.

After doing some research, the woman discovered who Lee really was and broke off their online romance. She later forwarded emails and the shirtless photo to Gawker, exposing the congressman and his secret life to the world.

When asked if she had any advice for the ex-congressman’s wife, the woman issued a solid recommendation.

“Go get tested,” she told Gawker. “I’m sure he hooked up with women from Craigslist who may have had, um, seedy paths.”

Initially, a spokesman for the congressman claimed that someone had hacked Lee’s accounts in an attempt to explain the half-naked photo.

“The Congressman is happily married,” the spokesman said in a statement to Gawker. “The only time he or his wife posted something online was to sell old furniture when they changed the apartment they keep in DC.”

It was later in the day when Lee released a statement apologizing to his family and staff, before announcing his resignation.

“A spokesman for the congressman claimed that someone had hacked Lee’s accounts.”

So that’s going to be the new excuse, replacing such classics as “the dog ate my homework” and “I had car trouble.”

Super Bowl Ad Summary 2011

With every Super Bowl comes the critique of the Super Bowl commercials.

The fact I almost forgot to talk about these this year pretty much sums up what I thought about this year’s crop.

Here’s what I don’t understand about many of these ads, which use crude innuendos and cheap slapstick like shooting objects at a man’s crotch. You’re paying millions of dollars for this airtime. You’re showcasing your product to hundreds of millions of people. Put some creativity into your commercial. Here was this year’s winner for me.

And for the record, if I should ever reproduce, that’s what I would probably be like as a father. God help kkk Jr.

Oh, this made me laugh, too.

“A town that’s been to hell and back.” What’s this “…and back” stuff?

Sad thing is the only ads I really cared about were the movie trailers for upcoming BlOcKbUsTeRs.

Didn’t Harrison Ford learn his lesson with making alien-related movies a few years ago?

A Storage War In My DVR.

So the better half and I found a new gem: A&E’s “Storage Wars.”

I’m sorry. I meant, “Storage War$.”

What’s it about? I’ll let Wiki handle this part:

Storage Wars is a reality television series on the A&E Network premiering in 2010. When rent is not paid on a storage locker for three months in California, the contents are sold off by an auctioneer as a single lot of items. The show follows professional buyers who purchase the contents based only on a 5 minute inspection and what they can see only from the door when it is opened. The goal is to turn a profit on the merchandise.

Basically, there are four people who go and bid on unpaid storage lockers. They bid on these things and then we get to see all the valuable merchandise people leave behind.

And I love it. The four main characters are great.

First off is Jarrod and his wife Brandi. Their storyline is that they own a fledgling thrift store and are the “underdogs” of the group. What I like about them is that on the show they “feud” over one of them spending too much on a locker or if one person wants to bid on a locker while the other person thinks there’s nothing but garbage in that same storage facility. The one thing I like about them is I’ve seen Mrs. kkk shoot me the same glares Brandi does her husband when he overbids for a locker.

Next is Darrell. The reason I like him is that he “feuds” with my favorite character on the show. There are times I think there’s something wrong with him upstairs, but without him the show wouldn’t be as entertaining. He’s positioned as “the gambler” on the show. This is supposed to mean he’ll bid on a locker in hopes of finding one high-priced item. OK then.

My second-favorite character is Barry. He’s got a real hippie-vibe to him, but it’s the good kind of hippie vibe — the whole “you do your thing and I’ll do my thing.” The show says he does this more as a hobby than as a means to make a living. I just think he’s funny as hell, and the fact he doesn’t take this so seriously on the show provides some great comic relief.

Now time for my favorite character: Dave. He’s portrayed on this show as the asshole of the group, and that’s why I love him. He owns a store and is very business-oriented. God bless him. And when he bids on an item he shouts out, “YEEEEEEP.” It’s so annoying, and I love it.

Here’s some more info.

Now of course the question is if all this is real. It’s impossible to believe that every big payday these people find are in these storage units, but I’m sure there is a ton of unaired footage of these people bidding on shitty lockers. Is this staged? Probably in some parts, but I really don’t care. I watch it for the characters. And I can’t wait until more and more people start bidding on these storage auctions and lose a fortune. Not every storage locker has hundreds of collectible newspaper editions from the day Elvis died (in mint condition, no less).

Sending The Steelers Packing

So I guess I should talk about the Super Bowl.

Meh. The best team won. How’s that for insight?

It’s funny because that’s pretty much the mood around here since the Packers beat the Steelers. And really, what can a yinzer bitch about? The officiating wasn’t bad. Pittsburgh turned the ball over way more than the Packers did. Aaron Rodgers just picked apart the Steelers’ defense. The attitude around here seems to be, “Hey, a small market team that we don’t hate won. That’s OK … for now. At least it wasn’t Dallas or Philadelphia.”

The weird thing about this game is that it could have went in two different directions. For one thing, there were a lot of drops by Green Bay receivers that could have made this game a blow-out. For another thing, the Steelers could have won the game. With their run in the second half, I actually thought this could happen. That was until Rashard Mendenhall fumbled the ball and Green Bay went on to score. Hell, I was actually thinking to myself, “If the Steelers do win this, I’d make Mendenhall the MVP,” just seconds before the turnover happened.

Who did I think would win the game? I thought the Packers. However, I did think the Steelers had a chance if they would have come out and smacked the Packers around at the start of the game. Why did I think this? With parity in the NFL, many of the more recent Super Bowls feature teams that we wouldn’t consider to be dynasties. As a result, there is a lot of tentative play in a Super Bowl’s first half. I thought the Steelers, being the more “experienced” team, could take advantage of this. Boy was that not the case. Another “way off” prediction was that the Steelers offensive line was going to wilt against the Packers’ defense. That really wasn’t the case; the unit played a lot better than I thought they would.

So there’s my expert commentary for yet another Super Bowl. Take me out, Packer fan.

kkk’s Rule Of Life #55

It’s not always bad to be kept out of the loop – especially when it resembles a noose.

Today’s Big Game

I sure can’t wait for the big football match today.

Chelsea v. Liverpool is now only 45 minutes away.

No clue who is on what team. I don’t even really like either squad.

Out There On An Island … Fighting

Goalies fighting. Seriously.

The Penguins won another game with Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby out of the lineup, showing that they can gut out victories without their two biggest stars. Really, at this point, the team might be wise to consider letting Malkin rest for as long as the other guys keep putting wins together. (Crosby is still far enough away from a return that they can’t really dictate his comeback at this point.)

Tyler Kennedy and Chris Kunitz beat DiPietro for the Penguins’ two first period goals while Maxime Talbot iced the game with an empty-netter. Johnson didn’t settle for beating up DiPietro alone, as he stopped all the 20 shots he faced before Marc-Andre Fleury played out the game’s final 17 seconds.

Do they throw stuff at each other from across the rink during the pre-game or something?

Marc-André Fleury’s reaction at 0:56 is the highlight for me.

Giving Me A “F” For Effort

A few days ago I was going through some file at the kkk Manor and came across an English paper I wrote during my first semester in college.

My God.

One of the highlights: I was supporting the idea of slavery reparations.

Wow. Normally that kind of stuff doesn’t happen until AFTER you graduate from college. Then (hopefully) it takes a year or two in the real world to get all that stuff out of you. For me it took two or three semesters.

And the world is a better place as a result.

Wearing Green In Pittsburgh Is Not Cheesy

So earlier today I said “what up” to the UPS driver that makes his rounds by my workplace. As I signed for a few packages, he says to me, “Why are you wearing a GREEN shirt?” I then notice his Steelers had and realize that whole Super Bowl thing is on Sunday. Actually, I was surprised he was the first person to make this observation. I’m in STEELER Country. How could I not wear the beloved Black and Gold and sport some evil Packer color?

My responses, “Because that was the first one I pulled out of the closet that didn’t stink (much).”

Always thought wearing a team’s color right before a big game was dumb. Still do, as you can tell..

Groundhog Post

So the groundhog recently … did something with his shadow. What was it this year — see or not see?

The news from Punxsutawney, Pa., this morning was just what we wanted to hear: Spring will come early this year, thanks to good old Phil predicting the winter, just as he’s done for 125 years (longest living groundhog ever?).

For 125 years, the country has watched Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog with a mission, crawl out of his burrow on Feb. 2. If he sees his shadow, boom, we’re stuck with winter for six more weeks. If he doesn’t, it means we’ve got only two more weeks to trudge through (and with the storms that have walloped the country this year, that’s happy news).

But on Wednesday, National Geographic gave us a giant lesson on Phil that totally buried the lead: “Romans also believed that conditions during the first days of February were good predictors of future weather, but the empire looked to hedgehogs for their forecasts.”

Well OK then.

I have wondered how much of that town’s economy relies on this rodent.

And I guess this is the opening act … from the Knob. Oh, white people.

Here’s another Phil-related video. At 1:13 is your government in action.

“Can we pet him?”

“Thanks for asking but unfortunately you can’t. In the state of Pennsylvania he’s considered a wild animal.”

And now my Punxsutawney Phil fix is done for this year.

An Interview With Mrs. kkk

So the better half works in a university’s research department. She is in charge of some study that’s going on around the commonwealth. She loves her co-workers. All is right with the world.

About six months ago, her boss quit to go to another university across the country. Since that time, her department has been looking for another person to fill this role. In the meantime, Mrs. kkk’s immediate supervisor was someone else in this department.

Earlier today the department had someone in for a day’s worth of interviews for this position. Mrs. kkk was part of one of these interviews. It should be noted that everyone else in this room had Ph.D.’s; Mrs. kkk only has a paltry Master’s Degree. And because the better half didn’t have a Ph.D., the Job Candidate completely and totally ignored her during this whole session.

It got so bad that some of the better half’s Ph.D. co-workers were trying to get the Job Candidate to talk with her by suggesting, “Well why don’t you ask Mrs. kkk about that; she’s the one who works on the study full-time.” Nothing.

Additionally, the Job Candidate wasn’t exactly impressing the other people in this room with her answers. One person actually said to her, “You didn’t answer my question” when he asked her what kind of research does she prefer doing.

At the end of this group session, Mrs. kkk was so furious with the Job Candidate. But it got worse when the Job Candidate said to her, “I’m sorry we didn’t have time to talk. If you have any questions, ‘Cindy’ (Mrs. kkk’s Department’s Chair) has my contact information.”

Wow.

And the funniest thing of all? The better half is going to have a considerable amount of clout in determining who gets hired.

And who doesn’t.

Stalk Talk

A little while back I talked about the crazy person my boss hired a month or so ago to do various stuff around the office building. (Please note I’m NOT talking about myself –I’ve been here for a few years now.)

Well, now that the crazy person apparently quit, I’m now learning from the gals I work with that he was quite the stalker. No “hiding in the bushes” or “following someone to their home” stuff, but it still made me ever-so-grateful that I’m a guy and don’t have to deal with this crap.

Now I’ve been around enough women to know that sometimes the definition of “stalker” means, “some ugly guy talking to me” and that if that guy was more attractive then there wouldn’t be any problems. I don’t think this was one of those cases, but you never know. Hell, all I would really say to him is “what’s up?” every time I opened the door for him in the morning; he pretty much avoided me like the plague.

Then again, for a crazy person, he did have SOME common sense.

Mega/Giant Whatever

So I’m watching yet another one of these shitty Sci-Fi channel movies: Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus. Oops, I meant SyFy channel.

And it stars Deborah Gibson. Because if she was billed as just “Debbie,” this movie wouldn’t be taken as seriously.

Thank God for the DVR machine. If I’m in the mood to watch this crap, I DVR the program and fast-forward through the 110 minutes of story-telling and commercials and watch the 10 minutes of screen-time these Mega-Monster/Dino-oids get.

Also have to mention that Gibson looks great.